Freakin' Welfare, Freakin' Mad!

[Blue]

So, we're looking for a place to live, yo. And, I'm like crazy mad looking all over the place. So, I decide to call this "new housing development, Ashburn Greene, close to schools, and everything, you'll love it!" I looked at the photos and it looks lovely. So I call:

Me: Hello, I'm calling about the ad for the houses.

Ashburne Greene: Yes.

Me: How much are they?

AG: Oh, a three bedroom is $585 plus utilities; and a four bedroom is $615.

Me (thinking to self): hmmm...well, $585 is a little more than I want to pay, but, well, it's brand new everything!

Me: So, can we come look at the houses?

AG: Well, there's an income limit, how many people live with you?

Me (*thinking to self): GOD DAMMIT TO HELL! It's a FUCKING WELFARE HOUSING DEVELOPMENT!!!

Me: There's 3 of us. WHat's your minimum?

AG: $25,000.

Okay, now, someone please fucking tell me how in the fucking world someone on welfare, with three people, making $25,000 or less, can afford a three bedroom home for $585 a month???

This pisses me off to no fucking end.

When I win the lottery, I'm going to build a fan-fucking-tastic housing development and only charge $300 a month rent. Then when all the welfare people come to live there, I'm going to say: I'm sorry, but the minimum income for a family of two is $35,000, plus, you have to have a baccalaureate degree in an approved discipline.

So, there are still NO PROSPECTS for a place to live. NOTHING.

[monkey!]

Blue where did you get your avatar picture, and is it from a movie and if so do the girls get naked in the movie?

[nacho]

I'm having trouble coping with the idea of renting a three bedroom house for $585. Maybe a hermit's cell, deep in a wooded wasteland, hastily cobbled together from the dilapidated ruins of a frigidarium that was once attached to a forgotten Roman villa, and under constant threat from bandits and Moorish invaders.

[jreale]

I'm having trouble coping with the idea of renting a three bedroom house for $585. Maybe a hermit's cell, deep in a wooded wasteland, hastily cobbled together from the dilapidated ruins of a frigidarium that was once attached to a forgotten Roman villa, and under constant threat from bandits and Moorish invaders.

It's all relative, right? $1000 a month gets you a one bedroom cabin here, blah blah blah. 

[nacho]

It's all relative, right? $1000 a month gets you a one bedroom cabin here, blah blah blah. 

I have dreams of making land grabs and being an absentee landlord.  Whenever I hear stuff like, ye-haw, a one room apartyment out here in the deepest heart of Amerikay is only $12 a year, these dreams are thrust forward.  Maybe I can buy Ashburn Green and take over.

Except, no welfare folks.  Respectable people only.  Doctors, lawyers and schoolteachers.  Landlord Nacho, Landlord Nacho, there's not enough room for both of our SUV's in the garage!  Oh, write to the local Gazette.  WHINE AWAY!  I'm in Europa with the tapioca and the Fruitopia!

[Nubbins]

Okay, now, someone please fucking tell me how in the fucking world someone on welfare, with three people, making $25,000 or less, can afford a three bedroom home for $585 a month???

That's interesting.  My apartment complex did the exact same thing to me when I moved in here.  Before I signed the lease for the apartment, they needed to see 2 of my paystubs and then plugged my yearly salary into a calculator and said, "Ok, you qualify."  I think they want to make sure that money for rent is not going to take up more than %30 of your yearly income or something.  For me it's pretty easy, but I don't see how anyone with a family can do it.

[Blue]

the thing is, my family would love the house. We would love the area, we would take care of the house, we would be good to it.

[monkey!]

But seriously.

The avatar picture!

[yotoc]

But seriously.

The avatar picture!

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[monkey!]

Oh dear God....

Oh dear God....

Oh dear God....

From whence does it come!?

[nacho]

Yeah.  We're gonna need to know where to get that, yo.

[monkey!]

You must tell us.