Author Topic: Howard Stern  (Read 3954 times)

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Offline Nubbins

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Howard Stern
« on: October 26, 2005, 09:44:36 PM »
So on September 29, Sirius made some large changes to their channel line up in preparation for the arrival of the self-professed KING OF ALL MEDIA!!! and added the two (yes TWO) entire channels that, come 2006, will feature nothing but Howard Stern and Stern related programming.

I am not a fan of Stern.  It's not that I have an opinion on him or his programming, I've just never lived in a market where I was able to listen to his show before.  I think they may have broadcast his show out of Columbus when I was in college, but what college student is up at the crack of dawn to tune into FM radio?  I've tuned into his E! show sporadically and stayed for the boobs, but never really followed it closely enough to form any idea of what the show was like.  

If his channels' first 4 weeks are any indication, radio is headed for some Sirius evolution come '06!

They're already doing stuff (granted, it's infantile) that I have never heard on the radio before.

They start off with just dead air for a week, and everyone is bummed.  Then, randomly, one day there's just fart sounds for 24 hours... straight.  Like, no talking... just sounds of people cutting cheese.  I am ashamed to admit that I listened for 5 minutes straight on my way to work that morning.

Since, they've had 24 hours of Wendy the Retard playing video games... and the drums.

Now they've got the Howard 100 News going 24-7 with comedy clips, prank calls, interviews, digs at the demise of FM (and XM) radio and live auditions of people who desperately want Howard to give them show slots on his channels.

Like I said, I'm not really a hardcore Stern fan or anything, but I am definitely intrigued.  It seems like this guy and his legion of millions of fans could really push the envelope for Satellite radio and do some innovative shit with this new media form.
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Offline Cassander

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Howard Stern
« Reply #1 on: October 27, 2005, 01:56:28 AM »
he probably will....i used to listen to howard in high school, and, here's what it is, honestly. the man can be either the most genius radio morning DJ ever or the complete scum of the earth.  if he gets started ranting about something intelligent, then he's got great opinoins and great points.  but if you get him started on some guests nipples, then it's that for 45 minutes.  real bi-polar.  i've been hearing about this "Stern is on Sirius!" for 2 years now.  we'll see if he delivers.  probably will.  i mean, if the let opie and anthony on XM, then stern has probably gonna do better than that.

the only hardcore stern fans are complete rednecks and jersey bluecollar guys who haven't seen a woman's tits in eight years.  just be warned.
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Offline nacho

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Howard Stern
« Reply #2 on: October 27, 2005, 08:45:24 AM »
Yeah, I'll be watching how well Opie & Anthony hold up.  They're XM's answer to the Stern announcement.

Sirius has lots of catching up to do before there can be discussions about the demise of XM.  Currently, XM has hit the 5 million subscriber mark and increases daily.  Sirius has been stagnant at half of that.  

With Stern, they're finally on even ground.  

I rally behind XM because they're local DC and currently the motivation behind the clean up of Fla and NY Ave.  They took over the People's Building in the worst part of NE, so now there's been this sea change in the area.  They rank the first brand new Metro stop in a decade, the ancient Woodies warehouse being gutted and turned into retro offices... Lots of faith in them.

I think it's the sports package that hurts XM.  Sirirus gets NFL, NBA and NHL.  XM is Nascar, PGA and "MLB" where you can listen to games from the past, which is nostalgic and fun and better than your stupid 14 inning White Sox game.

Offline Nubbins

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Howard Stern
« Reply #3 on: October 27, 2005, 10:53:39 AM »
Quote from: nacho
Yeah, I'll be watching how well Opie & Anthony hold up.  They're XM's answer to the Stern announcement.

Sirius has lots of catching up to do before there can be discussions about the demise of XM.  Currently, XM has hit the 5 million subscriber mark and increases daily.  Sirius has been stagnant at half of that.  

With Stern, they're finally on even ground.  

I rally behind XM because they're local DC and currently the motivation behind the clean up of Fla and NY Ave.  They took over the People's Building in the worst part of NE, so now there's been this sea change in the area.  They rank the first brand new Metro stop in a decade, the ancient Woodies warehouse being gutted and turned into retro offices... Lots of faith in them.

I think it's the sports package that hurts XM.  Sirirus gets NFL, NBA and NHL.  XM is Nascar, PGA and "MLB" where you can listen to games from the past, which is nostalgic and fun and better than your stupid 14 inning White Sox game.


DRAMA!!!

That's interesting stuff, though, really.  From what I hear, XM is floundering compared to Sirius.  Sirius got into the game a little late, but I think the programming is top notch.  Really, the only reason I went with Sirius was because it seemed a little more edgy and adult oriented when I was ready to buy one.  XM had a couple Christian stations and a bunch of kids shit that I really just didn't need.

I dunno... I, as anyone who makes a $250 purchase, am probably biased towards the purchase I made.  But, I'm certainly not disappointed by Sirius or upset that I picked it over XM.  I think Stern's going to shift the tide in their favor.  The Sirius sports package is getting stronger too... come '07 the only thing they won't have is baseball after the big NASCAR shift.
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Offline nacho

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Howard Stern
« Reply #4 on: October 27, 2005, 11:44:50 AM »
Oh, I'm not shooting down Sirius.  I'm just saying that reports of XM's death are being greatly exaggerated.  It's far ahead of Sirius.  Though, you're right, Sirius has managed to win a strong lineup whereas XM is somewhat unfocused and unsure of the territory.  They remain, however, the market leader.

Future problems -- Sirius getting the poor boy vote, and gathering strength.  The FCC order that the companies get new sats up which can broadcast universally.  I think XM will hold strong, simply because of the head start, until that happens.  Once people have the choice to use their receivers for either (or both) services, then that's that.  XM knows this and is fighting it.

XM has also broken into the portable receiver market with a bit more strength than Sirius, which was not only rejected by Apple, they were mocked openly.  Their bid to partner with iPod was reaching for the stars, I think.  A bit of a burn.  XM just created their own iPod clone.  

I think Stern's fans will close the subscriber gap but, at best, even the odds.  He, alone, won't crush XM.  Nor will the sports package.

This is akin to the Blockbuster vs Netflix battle.  Same pattern, too.  Blockbuster shows more organization, benefits and verve than Netflix, but Netflix had the field long before the barbarians came to the gates.  They're dug in, despite moments of panic and knee jerk reactions. How has Netflix -- which is, really, inferior -- managed to hold strong against an outright assault from all sides (Wal-Mart, as well, has been hammering at them)?  Critics say it's the name recognition.  Like XM, Netflix held steady ground for years before the battle began.  It's also all about keeping your current subscribers.  A sort of siege mentality which, at the moment, XM has begun to practice.  Netflix is still acting carefree but, before long, they'll start grouping all of us together and stroking us.  

I think it's name recognition of another sort.  Now move to Barnes & Noble vs Amazon.  B&N, and Blockbuster, are associated with brick & mortar outlets, not online services.  When I say Blockbuster, you think of the store down the street.  When I say Netflix, you think of online movies.  Easy.  

What kills the leaders, in these cases (and with the exception of Amazon), is hubris.  XM holds a solid lead, and they know it, and they think they can hold their five million and slowly gain ground.  I know a guy who's pretty high up with them, and he's nothing but gung-ho.  But the stronger Sirius becomes, it's like all the adults in Pump Up the Volume being surprised when the kids start to spiral out of control.

(I think it might be the reverse for Blockbuster vs Netflix.  Bbuster is throwing everything at Netflix, which simply absorbs the volleys.)

Offline Nubbins

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Howard Stern
« Reply #5 on: November 01, 2005, 08:58:41 PM »
High Pitched Eric in Craptastic '05.

This is unfucking real.

The premise is simple... take one disgusting, morbidly obese, indescribably dirty man with a comedically high pitched voice and place him in his apartment with 10 or so Sirius employees and Eric's hyperactive dog... and watch Eric gorge himself on food for 24 hours straight in an attempt to see how much excrement he can produce.  Place extensive bets on the grand totals and you have a recipe for... fuck if I know.

They've been trumpeting this "event" for a couple weeks now and intended to have it take place in the Sirius studios.  The studios wanted no part of this, forcing Eric and the rest of the crew to move the contest to his filthy apartment.

It's nauseating and really, really disgusting listening to this man eat and take craps in his living room, but goddammit if there isn't something so funny about it.  He insists on holding his dog while he craps.  Just now he got stuck on the toilet and the crew faced a bit of a dilemma because they had to get Eric off the toilet, but no one wanted to touch him.  All the while, his dog is barking like crazy... it's just hilarious.  It's so beyond all conceptions of normalcy and decency and as disgusting as Eric's performance has been, the crew reactions have been equally as funny.

"Look how sweaty his hands are!?!"

"We are all wearing surgical masks."

"Joey, use the toe of your boot... give him a hand!"

"Sadie, if you don't stop barking I'm gonna throw you out the fuckin' window!"

"Somebody call the EPA."
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Offline Nubbins

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Howard Stern
« Reply #6 on: November 01, 2005, 10:02:06 PM »
Eric... has eaten... $75 worth... of Taco Bell.  Today.

And that's on top of countless calzones, a tub of pudding... holy mother of god.
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