Author Topic: Monkey's News-Grinder  (Read 6153 times)

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Offline monkey!

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Re: Monkey's News-Grinder
« Reply #45 on: September 04, 2014, 09:11:06 AM »
Haha... wow.

http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-29053978

Policing report: Victims 'asked to investigate crime themselves'

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Victims of crime are being "encouraged" to investigate offences themselves, an inspection of police forces in England and Wales has found.

The billions of tax payers' shiny pounds sterling that go to fund the police forces isn't enough for police to do their job isn't enough? Her Majesty's 'Inspectorate of Constabulary' says criminal damage and car crime were "on the verge of being decriminalised" because forces had "almost given up". Well, isn't that encouraging? "In some cases victims were asked to check for CCTV or fingerprints."

Now, don't get me wrong - citizens should keep themselves aware of what happens in local environs, but what the hell is the point of paying for a police force that doesn't do simple basics of assigned work? At least other tax money being used to investigate police lack of motivation to work... pay for police that don't do their jobs, and pay us to tell you what you already know. What a jolly merry-go-round.

The report also found:

- People received a different response from the police for the same kind of incident, depending on where they lived
- Attendance rates at crime scenes varied from 39% in Warwickshire to 100% in Cleveland
- About a third of forces were failing to identify vulnerable and repeat victims
- There was "inadequate" use of technology by the police
- Some forces were losing track of named suspects because they did not have effective systems in place

This calls to mind a strangely prophetic comedy sketch from Fry & Laurie:

There will come a day for every man when he will relish the prospect of eating his own shit. That day has yet to come for me.

Offline monkey!

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Re: Monkey's News-Grinder
« Reply #46 on: October 03, 2014, 09:53:41 AM »
Oh, the BBC.

http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-28795300

Quote
Cat Watch 2014: What’s it like being a cat?

Next up... What's it like being dead?
There will come a day for every man when he will relish the prospect of eating his own shit. That day has yet to come for me.

Offline nacho

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Re: Monkey's News-Grinder
« Reply #47 on: October 03, 2014, 10:56:27 AM »
Oh, Auntie Beeb...what's become of you?

Offline monkey!

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Re: Monkey's News-Grinder
« Reply #48 on: November 14, 2014, 12:45:43 PM »
This week humans saw a historic 'comet landing' for a probe sent out 10 years ago... a probe that traveled 4 billion miles to land up a comet moving at 40k/mph through hard vacuum. What made the big headlines?

A somewhat gaudy, "GTA" style shirt that was designed and made by a woman. Granted, the shirt is horrible and tacky, but really, people - is getting so huffed and puffed up and out about a shitty-looking shirt really what should be taking up our attention?

http://www.bbc.com/news/blogs-trending-30055278

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One of the leading scientists on the Rosetta Project gave a string of TV interviews in a shirt emblazoned with half-dressed women. The angry reaction online spawned two hashtags, spoof images and has now led to a tearful apology as well.

Now, bear in mind this man is clearly a great scientist and engineer - let him wear whatever crappy shirts he pleases - he is BETTER than most of us. He puts shit on fast-moving comets. But no... "feminism" demands we complain about a gaudy shirt, rather than reveling in human technological prowess.

I can hear it now, when we land people on Mars... "You sexist pig fucks - why were only TWO women on the landing team?" "Why did the man get out of the space shuttle first?" "Wah wah pig scoffing whore blabber."

Please... just shut your fucking retard mouths, you cunts, and get back into the kitchen [/irony].
There will come a day for every man when he will relish the prospect of eating his own shit. That day has yet to come for me.

Offline monkey!

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Re: Monkey's News-Grinder
« Reply #49 on: February 05, 2015, 05:15:01 AM »
Just to remind us that we're scum. Thanks, BBC.

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-31110113

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How long would it take you to earn a top footballer’s salary?

Not content with this premise, they also calculate how long - in minutes - it would take them to earn your weekly salary. Pro tip: It's not very long.
There will come a day for every man when he will relish the prospect of eating his own shit. That day has yet to come for me.

Offline Reginald McGraw

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Re: Monkey's News-Grinder
« Reply #50 on: February 06, 2015, 01:22:23 PM »
I compared myself to local boy Clint Dempsey. I figured that MLS salaries would give me a shot at breaking like 100 years or something and HOLY CRAP HE MAKES $6 million a year TO PLAY SOCCER!!

Offline monkey!

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Re: Monkey's News-Grinder
« Reply #51 on: February 06, 2015, 01:30:53 PM »
A drop in the ocean.
There will come a day for every man when he will relish the prospect of eating his own shit. That day has yet to come for me.