Children of the Sun > TV

Not Worth a Thread: TV Edition

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Re-evaluating my comments above. Now Rings of Power is a total mess. The elves want to leave Middle Earth and go west but they also want to build the forge and fight for Middle Earth even though we've laboriously established that nobody believes Galadriel... Every little storyline is now becoming so silly and muddled I actually quit halfway through this latest episode.

Lots of bling bling went into the looky-looks - except they didn't bother to get a hot Galadriel, which is frankly, rude - but the show is trying to create a multi-season series based around Tolkien's post-LOTR appendices afterbirth using writers who seem to be limited by a High School level literature capacity.

Poor, poor Sauron... I really fucking pity him.

Now that Season 1 of Power deep into my Ring has finally terminated, like a pregnancy that should never have been, just imagine being Sauron in that scene on the raft during which Bell-Hal-end-brand reveals he's Mr Sexy McNasty Angel...

"Damn, Gally-dreidel girl, you're so fine with your saggy ass and ferret-like Wind In The Willows fizzog.. please be my Queen!"

Sauron must pretend to play nice when all he really wants is to forge another world-destroying super weapon in a volcano.

Imagine Mairon the Admirable sitting on that raft while Morfydd Clark flaunts her somehow dumpy-yet-spindly body in front of you, the CGI barely concealing her erect, misshapen nipples, and you must sit there, take after take, hour after hour, whilst she perfected her backstroke like the Innsmouth mutation she is....

Not only did Sauron have to tolerate her 'The Rescuers Go to the Welsh Valleys' ratty visage but he had to sit through the whole crew squealing how she's "SO HAAWWT!" and how "THIS IS THE BEST ACTORESS IN DA SEEERRREEEZZZ"  despite watching the surprising feat of how her weasel mask contorts into grimaces you didn't even know existed before that day.

Sauron has been betraying a steady diet of Numenorean Kings and Maiar for his entire career coming straight outta 'dem Angband Compton Projects. He's never even seen anything this revolting before, and now he can taste the sweat that's breaking out on Gally's pudgy stomach as she sucks it in to avert her frigid aspect from him, smugly assured of his enjoyment....

And then the director calls for another take and you - Sauron - know you could kill every single person in Middle Earth before Iluvatar could put you down but you sit there... you sit there and endure... because you're fucking SAURON the MIGHTY. Just let that Elf bitch live for now.

So I'm drunk now but I'm going to fucking log on tomorrow and agree with Monkey and LOSE MY SHIT about this ABOMINATION!

vduel :drama!: :fuckyou: :fuckoff: :mccainface: this movie needs sam neill idisagree! :violent2:


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