Author Topic: Not Worth a Thread: TV Edition  (Read 178345 times)

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Offline nacho

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Re: Not Worth a Thread: TV Edition
« Reply #735 on: September 17, 2022, 11:29:21 AM »
Is Rings of Power watchable? I'm curious, but not curious enough to engage.

I vote yes. It's very much Galadriel's story, but they manage to not do too much fan service. It's a little slow...lots of politicking, lots of setting up all the threads that will eventually lead to the forging of the rings and the great war. They're handling the deep politics and subterfuge well, though, because this is all basically a children's story. Unlike House of the Dragon where you need white boards, graphs, and a 500 year family tree. And where they'll change all the main characters with new actors halfway through just when you start to get used to who's who.

The three main threads in Rings of Power:

Galadriel, on her insane quest to prove that Sauron escaped and is out there somewhere.

The Southlands, where There's A Problem(tm) as the Elves are pulling out and planning to leave Middle Earth.

The Forge, where a young Elrond decides to help Celebrimbor create a forge that can make powerful wearable items...hmmm....

Offline nacho

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Re: Not Worth a Thread: TV Edition
« Reply #736 on: September 18, 2022, 09:51:12 AM »
I should probably add: If you know anything about the source material beyond the movies, you'll hate it. This is fan fiction that has no care for the timeline. They're bound by the movies almost solely geographically, but the whole idea that we're about 3000 years before the start of Fellowship is out the window. They're about to wake the Balrog, they're racing to get those rings made, we already have a young Isildur...

I don't give that much of a shit because everything outside of the four actual books is just Tolkien's insane scribblings and unfinished notes. So why should your narrative be bound by what's essentially background notes on cocktail napkins?

Fucking Tolkien nuts would have my head for saying that, and their backlash against this show is....Well, it's been crazy. Even Forbes and the NYT and the Atlantic are in the Awesomely Outraged Tolkien Scholar camp.

Meanwhile, I just sit here and think that Galadriel's hot and she's going to fuck somebody up at least once an episode, the orcs are cool and they're going to d something evil and there's going to be a little battle, and, gosh, look at that scenery. And maybe Matt Smith will come riding in on a dragon...or...no, wait...   


Offline monkey!

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Re: Not Worth a Thread: TV Edition
« Reply #737 on: September 18, 2022, 01:48:48 PM »
Yeah... it starts slow but you just know there's a sexy Elf-Dwarf f'orgy coming up soon.

However, Galadriel is too 'hippy' and has no tits. And her face when she's on the horse - Episode 2? - was genuinely horrific.

Otherwise, Dave Grohl stars in it as Elendil - aka father to the dickhead who should've but didn't destroy the ring back in the day - and is clearly gonna watch Galadriel's ass in the showers.
There will come a day for every man when he will relish the prospect of eating his own shit. That day has yet to come for me.

Offline nacho

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Re: Not Worth a Thread: TV Edition
« Reply #738 on: September 20, 2022, 10:33:58 AM »
OMG... The Quantum Leap reboot is....Good!

Hilariously, it's so obviously on the Universal backlot that I recognize almost every building and street corner. But, that's fine. Whatever.

So we're following in the footsteps of the original. We get the same narration opening, and they fill in saying the project was mothballed until recently when they figured out a way to go after Sam, or just get the machine working right. Then our main guy -- I believe the only current Asian lead on TV -- goes rogue just like Sam Beckett and we're off.

There's much more of what's happening at Quantum Leap HQ -- we have the nonbinary LGBwhatever who takes Gooshie's place. He has a much more active behind the scenes computer-whisperer role.

Replacing Dean Stockwell is our new Leaper's new fiance. In keeping with the rules of the original, only the person with the closest connection to the Leaper can actually appear and communicate with them. She's got big Stockwell shoes to fill but she does a great job. And, strangely, the hologram guide's technology hasn't advanced much in 30 years...

Ernie Hudson is the boss of the Quantum Leap project. He's actually playing the same character that Sam Beckett saved in a Vietnam leap in the original series.

And we have a pan-Asian playing tough as nails head of security. She doesn't have too much to do in the pilot except feel sorry for herself.

Behind the scenes, we have a mysterious figure pulling the strings. This person has convinced our new Leaper to upload a bunch of code that no one can figure out and take his unauthorized leap. There's a Much Bigger Narrative Ahead (tm).

So any fan knows that Quantum Leap's finale sucked ass -- Sam learns he's on a mission from God and is taken away to heaven (or away from the prying eyes of the QL Project back home). The pilot's a bit vague as to whether or not they actually believe they can find Beckett. That vagueness, I think, dovetails into the Mystery. Pretty easy to guess: There's a group of people who want to find Sam and figure out what happened, and our main group of people will simply want to save our new guy because they're all his best friends.

All fine. This is a watchable, entertaining, and well-crafted homage/update to the original series.


Offline monkey!

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Re: Not Worth a Thread: TV Edition
« Reply #739 on: September 20, 2022, 02:22:37 PM »
You shut your whore mouth!
There will come a day for every man when he will relish the prospect of eating his own shit. That day has yet to come for me.

Offline nacho

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Re: Not Worth a Thread: TV Edition
« Reply #740 on: September 21, 2022, 01:54:23 PM »
You shut your whore mouth!

Wait...this should have been the response in the Rings of Power discussion!

Offline monkey!

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Re: Not Worth a Thread: TV Edition
« Reply #741 on: September 22, 2022, 04:18:40 AM »
You shut your whore mouth!

Wait...this should have been the response in the Rings of Power discussion!

I'll Power *your* Ring!
There will come a day for every man when he will relish the prospect of eating his own shit. That day has yet to come for me.

Offline nacho

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Re: Not Worth a Thread: TV Edition
« Reply #742 on: September 22, 2022, 09:55:06 AM »
You shut your whore mouth!

Wait...this should have been the response in the Rings of Power discussion!

I'll Power *your* Ring!

Cum into my dragon house.

No, wait...

Offline monkey!

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Re: Not Worth a Thread: TV Edition
« Reply #743 on: September 22, 2022, 04:07:37 PM »
You shut your whore mouth!

Wait...this should have been the response in the Rings of Power discussion!

I'll Power *your* Ring!

Cum into my dragon house.

No, wait...

I'll wait... until you're asleep.
There will come a day for every man when he will relish the prospect of eating his own shit. That day has yet to come for me.

Offline RottingCorpse

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Re: Not Worth a Thread: TV Edition
« Reply #744 on: September 23, 2022, 02:16:55 PM »
Monkey, you're a breath of fresh air in these troubled times.

Offline nacho

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Re: Not Worth a Thread: TV Edition
« Reply #745 on: September 24, 2022, 11:23:27 AM »
Re-evaluating my comments above. Now Rings of Power is a total mess. The elves want to leave Middle Earth and go west but they also want to build the forge and fight for Middle Earth even though we've laboriously established that nobody believes Galadriel... Every little storyline is now becoming so silly and muddled I actually quit halfway through this latest episode.

Offline monkey!

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Re: Not Worth a Thread: TV Edition
« Reply #746 on: September 25, 2022, 11:54:32 AM »
Lots of bling bling went into the looky-looks - except they didn't bother to get a hot Galadriel, which is frankly, rude - but the show is trying to create a multi-season series based around Tolkien's post-LOTR appendices afterbirth using writers who seem to be limited by a High School level literature capacity.
There will come a day for every man when he will relish the prospect of eating his own shit. That day has yet to come for me.

Offline monkey!

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Re: Not Worth a Thread: TV Edition
« Reply #747 on: October 15, 2022, 08:06:25 PM »
Poor, poor Sauron... I really fucking pity him.

Now that Season 1 of Power deep into my Ring has finally terminated, like a pregnancy that should never have been, just imagine being Sauron in that scene on the raft during which Bell-Hal-end-brand reveals he's Mr Sexy McNasty Angel...

"Damn, Gally-dreidel girl, you're so fine with your saggy ass and ferret-like Wind In The Willows fizzog.. please be my Queen!"

Sauron must pretend to play nice when all he really wants is to forge another world-destroying super weapon in a volcano.

Imagine Mairon the Admirable sitting on that raft while Morfydd Clark flaunts her somehow dumpy-yet-spindly body in front of you, the CGI barely concealing her erect, misshapen nipples, and you must sit there, take after take, hour after hour, whilst she perfected her backstroke like the Innsmouth mutation she is....

Not only did Sauron have to tolerate her 'The Rescuers Go to the Welsh Valleys' ratty visage but he had to sit through the whole crew squealing how she's "SO HAAWWT!" and how "THIS IS THE BEST ACTORESS IN DA SEEERRREEEZZZ"  despite watching the surprising feat of how her weasel mask contorts into grimaces you didn't even know existed before that day.

Sauron has been betraying a steady diet of Numenorean Kings and Maiar for his entire career coming straight outta 'dem Angband Compton Projects. He's never even seen anything this revolting before, and now he can taste the sweat that's breaking out on Gally's pudgy stomach as she sucks it in to avert her frigid aspect from him, smugly assured of his enjoyment....

And then the director calls for another take and you - Sauron - know you could kill every single person in Middle Earth before Iluvatar could put you down but you sit there... you sit there and endure... because you're fucking SAURON the MIGHTY. Just let that Elf bitch live for now.
There will come a day for every man when he will relish the prospect of eating his own shit. That day has yet to come for me.

Offline nacho

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Re: Not Worth a Thread: TV Edition
« Reply #748 on: October 16, 2022, 05:32:14 PM »
So I'm drunk now but I'm going to fucking log on tomorrow and agree with Monkey and LOSE MY SHIT about this ABOMINATION!


vduel :drama!: :fuckyou: :fuckoff: :mccainface: this movie needs sam neill idisagree! :violent2: