Not worth a thread: Silver Screen Edition (with downloadable supplement)

[RottingCorpse]

So.... This is real...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PCS657nOY8I

Danny McBride rebooting Crocodile Dundee?

Yes, please! I have no problems with this.

So... the movie is fake. It’s a Super Bowl commercial for Australian tourism.

https://movieweb.com/crocodile-dundee-movie-fake-super-bowl-2018-commercial/

Everyone is torn as to whether or not it's real, but it really should be...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E7ZTh9Rd0aA

[nacho]

Whatever they're doing, the marketing campaign is fucking brilliant. I hope they can keep us guessing right up till the premiere.

[RottingCorpse]

The joke is now up on what could have been the best reboot of the past ten years.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XltvwqBZIPc

[nacho]

The joke is now up on what cold have been the best reboot of the past ten years.

That's actually...a little heartbreaking.

[nacho]

Dunkirk:

A beautiful movie told in a strangely claustrophobic way. Nolan pulls out all the same visual and musical cues that made The Dark Knight amazing, following the evacuation at Dunkirk through the eyes of a handful of people. It's tense, exciting, and simply stunning to watch. Unfortunately, it feels needlessly complicated and a little too personal. We're essentially following one timeline that's shattered, Memento-style, so it all seems to pull together in the end...but it doesn't really mater that it pulls together because it's obviously just the writer's room being too clever for their pants. Meanwhile, the insular approach to the story -- strictly from the POV of the individual people -- cheapens the scope of the evacuation. 300,000 troops were evacuated by a flotilla of canoes and civilian craft. It's one of the most amazing moments of WWII, yet it's reduced to Joe Schmoe's viewpoint. Which might be fine if it was a more well-known engagement from the war. Consequently, the movie has to pause every once in a while to take a breath and explain itself. So...overdone.

So last night I watched The Darkest Hour. Not only is it amazing, but it's the better Dunkirk movie. And we don't even see much of Dunkirk!

[nacho]

Hard Drive Clearances:

Better Watch Out: I was told this was a tables-turned Christmas-themed horror movie, so I've been sitting on it since December. Finally watching it and...blah. Dumb shit.
Rating:

[nacho]

Hard Drive Clearances:

The Greatest Showman

This movie does an awesome job of humanizing a scoundrel who collected the physically disabled to be slaves in his human zoo.
Rating: 

[nacho]

Hard Drive Clearances:

Murder on the Orient Ex....


Skyline:

Bad PA alien invasion abduction paranoia sci-fi. It feels like a made for TV movie. It's a slow burn Battle:Los Angeles where characters don't ask questions or look out the window.
Rating: 

[RottingCorpse]

Murder on the Orient Express is boring? That's disappointing.

[nacho]

Murder on the Orient Express is boring? That's disappointing.

Less boring than unnecessary, maybe. It's like a fan fiction version of an 80s TV movie.

[nacho]

Hard Drive Clearances:

The Commuter: Liam Neeson has to save his family by beating the shit out of people...on a train! I can't help but feel like this is his Under Siege. Except he plays a washed up schlub (who...can fight really well) throughout, which is an interesting choice because he's a gigantic scary monster who doesn't play hat-in-hand accountant that well.

Anyway, it's still exactly what you expect and he kicks ass.
Nacho's rating: 

Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle

I always felt like the first Jumanji movie was an overblown Robin Williams vehicle, and that cheapened the overall story. This rebooted version is excellent -- a great ensemble, and good, simple fun. Upgrading to modern video game rules is just fine, and Karen Gillian runs around in a Lara Croft outfit the whole time and it's hhhhhhhot! So this movie has something for everyone: Good for the kids, and good for the parents between Gillian and the Rock, and good for the fags with Jack Black's (hilarious) character.

Nacho's rating: 

[nacho]

Hard Drive Clearances:

Insidious: The Last Key

So, at this point, this series isn't about what this series was about. It's about Elise (who, I think, dies in every movie?) and her comical Ghost Team, who are basically like The Lone Gunmen.

I had a hard time following this one because the series timeline makes the X-Men timeline look linear and uncluttered. But it has all the usual jump scares, and Elise is actually likable. She's who this series should have been about from the beginning (instead of having that dawn on them three movies later and forcing them to retcon the fuck out of the franchise).

Nacho's Rating: 

[RottingCorpse]

I still haven't seen the original Insidious. Should I? Is this the one Annabelle was spun off from? I CAN'T KEEP UP!!!

[RottingCorpse]

Terry Gilliam has been trying to make The Man Who Killed Don Quixote all his life. Looks like he finally did it.

https://news.avclub.com/holy-shit-its-a-trailer-for-terry-gilliams-the-man-who-1825010858

https://youtu.be/PkRo5l8679g

[nacho]

I still haven't seen the original Insidious. Should I? Is this the one Annabelle was spun off from? I CAN'T KEEP UP!!!

Not really. The Conjuring franchise (which includes the Annabelle franchise) pays lip service to the Insidious franchise, generally just confirming that the shit is happening in the same universe (and, incidentally, the same universe as the Saw franchise) but they're not intended to be too closely related.

The Conjuring follows Ed and Lorraine Warren (idealized and whitewashed versions of the infamous poltergeist scammer couple). Insidious follows Elise Rainier, a fictional medium.

Both franchises are worth getting into....if you break both your legs and get tired of spying on your neighbor.