Author Topic: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!  (Read 80558 times)

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Offline nacho

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Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
« Reply #255 on: January 04, 2009, 09:00:07 PM »
Man of the People.

An enormously lousy Troi episode...and ripoff of The Portrait of Dorian Grey.

Since incorrect uniforms are on the mind after O'Brien in the last episode, this one is probably the most bizarre in the series.  Both Data and Geordi have the incorrect rank insignia in the opening scenes.

Seriously, people, you've been dealing with these characters for six years. 

Offline nacho

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Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
« Reply #256 on: January 05, 2009, 09:27:54 AM »
Relics.

It's the Scotty episode!  The crew finds Scotty trapped in the transporter of a ship that crashed 75 years ago.

The Enterprise is caught in the same trap that took down Scotty's ship (it's a mysterious Dyson Sphere that's causing all the trouble) and they need Scotty's help to escape.  Which gives us the chance for a classic fish out of water story with Scotty hamming it up all the way.

Scotty, by the way, always hated TNG.  Said it was "stealing" from the original series.  Though he did later say that he never really watched the show.  Smart man.  Also of note is that this episode flies wildly against Generations. Kirk's death was not yet envisioned by this point, which Scotty would witness (for the first time) in Generations.  So we'll just pretend that this episode didn't happen when it comes time for the movies.

Though, of course, this episode was meant for Kirk.  But the writers didn't want to work with Shatner.

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Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
« Reply #257 on: January 05, 2009, 10:07:36 AM »
Also, Relics is worth watching just so you can see Scotty drink an entire bottle of whiskey.  (Well, Picard has two glasses.)

In the synthol-swilling universe of TNG, it's lovely to see someone get wildly drunk and walk around the corridors with a bottle.

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Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
« Reply #258 on: January 05, 2009, 09:14:09 PM »
Schisms.

The alien abduction episode, featuring Data's poetry reading about Spot.

Aliens are coming through a subspace rift, abducting people in their sleep, then experimenting on them.  Everyone gets pissy and, eventually, they figure it out and Riker gets to Shatner some bad guys.

I found the poem online and will post it here...because the whole thing is recited in this episode.  And I am now going to carve out my teeth with a sharpened spoon.

Quote
    Felis catus is your taxonomic nomenclature,
    An endothermic quadruped, carnivorous by nature;
    Your visual, olfactory, and auditory senses
    Contribute to your hunting skills and natural defenses.

    I find myself intrigued by your sub-vocal oscillations,
    A singular development of cat communications
    That obviates your basic hedonistic predilection
    For a rhythmic stroking of your fur to demonstrate affection.

    A tail is quite essential for your acrobatic talents,
    You would not be so agile if you lacked its counterbalance.
    And when not being utilized to aid in locomotion
    It often serves to illustrate the state of your emotion.

    Oh Spot, the complex levels of behavior you display
    Connote a fairly well-developed cognitive array;
    And though you are not sentient, Spot, and do not comprehend,
    I nonetheless consider you a true and valued friend.


Offline nacho

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Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
« Reply #259 on: January 05, 2009, 10:07:09 PM »
True Q.

No Q in the fifth season?  No problem!  The sixth season has three Q episodes!  Well, two on TNG, and one on DS9.  In this episode, he comes to the Enterprise to pick up a girl who is half Q, and developing Q powers so she has to join the Continuum.  This is pretty much ripping off the episode where Q made Riker a Q, though.  Same sort of thing -- the girl wants to stay human and use her powers for good, etc. 

Olivia d'Abo plays the girl -- back before she got that methhead look.  This is one of the weakest Q episodes, but it's still great because de Lancie is awesome.  It also shows a larger plan for the story arc (perhaps thanks to RDM's influence?) as Q hints that the trial of humanity (which bookends the series) is still underway.

Q's one and only appearance on DS9 is the dreadful boxing match episode and is really weird coming in between this episode and the wonderful Tapestry later in the season.  Like all of his appearances in Voyager, the DS9 episode is just a cheesy throwaway.

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Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
« Reply #260 on: January 05, 2009, 10:58:08 PM »
Rascals.

Oh god...

Okay, first off, in the recent Barclay episode, Geordi told Barclay that there has only been two or three transporter accidents in the last decade.  Yet we get more than three per season on the Enterprise alone!

In this piece of fucking shit episode, Picard, Michelle Forbes, Whoopi, and O'Brien's wife are turned into children during a transporter accident.  Then the Ferenghi try and take the ship...so...the kids team up with Worf's son and...defend the ship.

Wow.  Writing that out kind of made my head hurt.  I can't believe somebody wrote that storyline.  Sorry...four someones!

This is O'Brien's last TNG episode, as well.  Embarrassing. 

RDM on the episode:

Quote
When Michael bought the premise I thought he was completely insane: An Away Team rematerializes on the transporter as children with adult minds! I tried again and again to bury this idea, which of course meant that I would get saddled with the inevitable rewrite when the script came in. I just thought it was a ludicrous idea and wanted nothing to do with it. That said, once I got the assignment, the professional writer in me had to commit to the material and do the best with it that I could, so I tried very hard to bring humor and humanity to the proceedings, chiefly through the Guinan/Ro story that I did end up liking in the end. I still cringe when I think of the episode.

Offline Cassander

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Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
« Reply #261 on: January 06, 2009, 09:41:53 AM »
i remember that god awful piece.  shatner never would've allowed anything like that to happen to him.
You ain't a has been if you never was.

Offline nacho

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Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
« Reply #262 on: January 06, 2009, 09:52:44 AM »
i remember that god awful piece.  shatner never would've allowed anything like that to happen to him.

Actually, they were turned into kids in the Animated Series, which this episode ripped off.

Next up -- if I can find the strength -- is the Wild West episode, where every character is played by Data and Worf, Troi, and Worf's kid are trapped in Deadwood, 1880!

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Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
« Reply #263 on: January 06, 2009, 10:15:52 AM »
A Fistful of Datas.

That this episode got made just blows my mind...

It's a holodeck accident episode.  Work, Troi, and Worf's kid are trapped on the holodeck while in the middle of an Old West Deadwood program.  Except the writers seem to think Deadwood was in Arizona.

As part of the malfunction, every single character now looks like and has Data's abilities.  So it's a Being John Malcovich thing, except Brent Spiner is playing a multitude of different roles (including barmaids).

Unwatchable, really.  Bad writing, stupid idea, and there are even several visible stunt doubles.  It's like they shot this in a day or something.

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Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
« Reply #264 on: January 06, 2009, 02:23:03 PM »
The Quality of Life.

Just in case you haven't had enough Data stories shoved down your throat, here's a Data episode!

A scientist has made little service robots and, based on their actions, Data comes to believe that they have achieved self-awareness. 

So, yeah, this is the intelligent screwdrivers episode.


Offline Nubbins

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Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
« Reply #265 on: January 06, 2009, 02:59:50 PM »
8=o tation

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Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
« Reply #266 on: January 06, 2009, 03:21:56 PM »
Dude, is that a picture of me during the Rascals episode?

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Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
« Reply #267 on: January 06, 2009, 04:24:17 PM »
I'm obviously no expert, but I'm guessing that is a picture of you during many, many episodes of this fine show.
8=o tation

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Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
« Reply #268 on: January 06, 2009, 04:37:05 PM »
Well, Chain of Command is next, which is a fine two-parter.  Which is, then, followed by another Barclay/out of control Holodeck episode.

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Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
« Reply #269 on: January 06, 2009, 04:44:29 PM »
which is, then, followed by

8=o tation