Author Topic: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!  (Read 85272 times)

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Offline Cassander

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Re: Suffering Through TNG
« Reply #90 on: November 24, 2008, 12:54:54 AM »
so, remind me again why everyone wanted to fuck picard and riker just gets shadowboxing with troi? 
You ain't a has been if you never was.

Offline nacho

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Re: Suffering Through TNG
« Reply #91 on: November 24, 2008, 11:11:40 AM »
Actually, the other way around.  Picard was almost asexual, except for archeology girl and the occasional brainy alien.  There are scenes throughout where, despite Riker and Troi saying repeatedly that they are together, Riker is chatting up every female crew member.  With season two, whenever a scene has Riker join someone in Guinan's bar (if he's already there), he's usually there buying drinks and talking close to a pretty ensign. 

And if there's a glamor girl, he gets to make out with them Kirk-style.  Happens five times in season two alone.

Troi also falls deeply in love with other people at least twice a season.

Offline nacho

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Re: Suffering Through TNG
« Reply #92 on: November 24, 2008, 08:29:38 PM »
Evolution.

Begin season three!

We're back in the saddle.  Writers and money and a whole new outlook. Updated uniforms, and a brand new title sequence. What's the big first episode?  Something amazing, right?

Nope.  Wesley creates nanites for his science experiment...and they escape and fuck up the dreams of an obsessive astronomer trying to view a once in a lifetime event.

Dr. Crusher is back...with no explanation.  Pulaski just vanished, I guess. (Crusher does mention her absence in passing.)
« Last Edit: November 24, 2008, 08:35:07 PM by nacho »

Offline nacho

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Re: Suffering Through TNG
« Reply #93 on: November 25, 2008, 10:58:46 PM »
The Ensigns of Command.

A wayward colony ship illegally set up base on a planet riddled with lethal super sci fi radiation, but the colony somehow survived...and didn't bother reporting in.

Now, according to a 500,000 word treaty (yes, Picard sits and reads the entire treaty to us...or, rather, it feels that way) a monstrous race that hates people decide to colonize the planet and are all like, WTF, there's a human colony on the planet that's deadly to humans.  You have four days to remove them.

Transporters don't work, and the planet is poisonous, so only Data can shuttle down and try to convince the 15,000 fuckos to leave and then...oh, look!  A shiny object on my desk that I can stare at!

Offline Reginald McGraw

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Re: Suffering Through TNG
« Reply #94 on: November 26, 2008, 09:19:56 AM »
Okay, that actually sounds interesting...

What was the resolution?

Offline nacho

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Re: Suffering Through TNG
« Reply #95 on: November 26, 2008, 09:44:13 AM »
Okay, that actually sounds interesting...

What was the resolution?

Data learns to act dramatically in an attempt to convince them and fails.  So then he stuns a bunch of people with a phaser and puts on a light show to demonstrate how technologically advanced the oncoming aliens are and everyone agrees.

Meanwhile, Picard plays a cat and mouse game with the scary aliens, as each side quotes parts of the byzantine treaty, and Picard (who is wholly unfamiliar with the 500,000 word treaty) manages to pick out a paragraph that traps the aliens (who have the treaty memorized) into extending the deadline to allow for a Federation colony ship to come pick everyone up.

End with a father-son moment between Picard and Data.  All is okay.

Offline Reginald McGraw

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Re: Suffering Through TNG
« Reply #96 on: November 26, 2008, 10:01:10 AM »
How do the people survive in the radiation though?!??  I've got so many questions!

Offline nacho

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Re: Suffering Through TNG
« Reply #97 on: November 26, 2008, 10:12:17 AM »
It's never really explained.  Most of the colonists died, but they figured out a way to survive the radiation through science! (Or, as Troi says, "They adapted.")  And now, 100 years later, they are a testament to the strength of the human race, etc etc. 

Nor is it discussed how the colony ship will deal with 15,000 highly irradiated people, or where they can safely live with the same conditions because, presumably, they'll need to live in the same environment they've adapted to over the last century...?

Offline Reginald McGraw

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Re: Suffering Through TNG
« Reply #98 on: November 26, 2008, 10:16:39 AM »
Hmm...that sucks!

Offline nacho

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Re: Suffering Through TNG
« Reply #99 on: November 26, 2008, 10:20:14 AM »
All I know is that it wasn't a Wesley episode.

Offline nacho

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Re: Suffering Through TNG
« Reply #100 on: November 26, 2008, 10:48:19 PM »
The Survivors.

The Enterprise finds two elderly survivors on an otherwise obliterated colony world.  Turns out that it's just an immortal energy being who posed as a human in the colony because he liked people, then the colony was attacked and destroyed and he created a dreamworld with a dream wife and they were growing old and happy.  But Picard has to go jam in the knife, then say, oh, sorry, well, nevermind.

Offline nacho

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Re: Suffering Through TNG
« Reply #101 on: November 26, 2008, 10:50:59 PM »
Oh, and Troi gets a new outfit.

Offline nacho

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Re: Suffering Through TNG
« Reply #102 on: November 26, 2008, 11:22:13 PM »
Who Watches the Watchers.

Bronze Age natives discover a Federation observation post and, ultimately, believe Picard to be a god.  Picard must then convince them of his mortality, mainly by beaming the primitive to the Enterprise where she witnesses a death in sick bay.  Uh...?

The great Ray Wise guest stars, not yet having freaked us out as Leland Palmer.  Also, Dr. Pulaski is mentioned.  A feeble attempt to explain why she's gone and Crusher stepped down from a seemingly superior position to resume her position. 

Offline Cassander

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Re: Suffering Through TNG
« Reply #103 on: November 28, 2008, 08:28:52 PM »
what's the one where they have to lead all these refugees out of some godforsaken zone and, i think, they end up putting them in a launching bay?
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Offline nacho

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Re: Suffering Through TNG
« Reply #104 on: November 28, 2008, 08:56:53 PM »
You might have to be more specific, because they use that storyline 2 or 3 times a season.