Taken for Granite > Intensive Porpoises

College.

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Matt:
I think I might start writing articles, if Nacho doesn't mind, about my college experience, but here's some of the tidbits so far:

My first message from a facebook Iowan user came today. Erin Wagoner was the first. She's really hot, but she says she's in a relationship. Oh well. That doesn't exactly matter, especially when alcohol is involved. Oh, and she said she liked my boxers.

Score.

Then I found my roommate.

Now, heretofore, Mr. James T. Paprocki had e-mailed me once. I was a dick, and didn't respond. I e-mailed him back tonight, and on a whim, I looked him up on facebook. His user picture: a cat. I'm going to assume it's his. His interests: "Languages, languages, languages." I knew a kid like that once. He was flamboyantly gay, so much so that my boss at the pizzeria called him a woman. Mr. Paprocki says he's straight. Perhaps.

At least he's going to be quiet, from what I can tell. Might be the studying, bookworm type. That's fine. I'll just leave the dorm, 24/7. It'll be good for me.

Next week I have orientation. Woooooo.

Tyson:
You're going to wake up one night in a post-drunk haze with his dick in your hands.

Regardless: Write articles! Yes! Oh, college articles. You really can't go wrong. Write about the dark side. The women. The cafeteria cook who, you later find out, was fired from his job at Denny;s for masturbating in the cole slaw.

If nothing else, college articles are good for nostalgia. I mean, I'm not nostalgic about my first two years, but I know I'm going to be nostalgic about these next few years, and I'll be writing extended blog entries about it, for sure. Well, no one want s to hear about my failures in getting laid, so GS articles aren't the best idea.

Actually, they might work... Now I can have more half-written pieces! Huzzah!

"The Hill"
"Always The Laughing"
"How Not To Be A Fucktard"
and
"How Not To Get Laid"

But yes: write. Orientation is the best time to start. Get it all down. Everything.

nacho:
Wait, are you just starting college or something?

Yeah, write about it.  Watch out for the emo, man!

jreale:

--- Quote from: nacho ---Watch out for the emo, man!
--- End quote ---


Or not. Savage emo love!

nacho:

--- Quote from: jreale ---
--- Quote from: nacho ---Watch out for the emo, man!
--- End quote ---


Or not. Savage emo love!
--- End quote ---


"I am all alone in my dorm room as I write this.  I am crying.  Last night, I drank twelve ounces of vodka in ten minutes, puked blood, and was raped by my roomie and all of his gay friends.  I liked it.  I hate myself for liking it.  I hate myself because...I love cock.  The way it feels as it stabs into my virgin, freshman ass.  The power.  The strength.  Also, I love vodka, but that's another article."

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