Author Topic: V  (Read 46985 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline nacho

  • Hallowed are the Ori.
  • Walter The Farting Dog
  • You're a kitty!
  • *****
  • Posts: I am a geek!!
    • GS
Re: V
« Reply #135 on: January 06, 2011, 08:49:51 PM »
You know what this show is?  It's an Elizabeth Mitchell vehicle.

Studio exec 1:  We need that blonde from Lost!

SE2: Well... I don't know how we can use her...

SE1: I don't care! Just write around her!

Offline nacho

  • Hallowed are the Ori.
  • Walter The Farting Dog
  • You're a kitty!
  • *****
  • Posts: I am a geek!!
    • GS
Re: V
« Reply #136 on: January 06, 2011, 10:04:20 PM »
Episode two went down like a piece of candy. The credits rolled and I felt like I'd just been sitting here 20 minutes instead of 40.  Episode three continues the two-pronged desperate struggle to build a human resistance group and reorganize the Visitor Fifth Column that, apparently, fought the Visitor sleeper cells 20 years ago. It goes down like too much candy but, weirdly, I'm caught up in this horrific trash...

Offline RottingCorpse

  • Old Timer
  • You're a kitty!
  • ***
  • Posts: 24066
  • We got this by the ass!
    • http://www.lonniemartin.com
Re: V
« Reply #137 on: January 06, 2011, 10:08:56 PM »
All right. You've convinced me. Dropbox it.

Offline nacho

  • Hallowed are the Ori.
  • Walter The Farting Dog
  • You're a kitty!
  • *****
  • Posts: I am a geek!!
    • GS
Re: V
« Reply #138 on: January 06, 2011, 10:28:45 PM »
Oh no!  Now I'm totally into it.  The old Fifth Column on Earth is a mess, but our main Martin guy is pulled in with our other heroes.

Meanwhile, the Fifth Column is alive and well with the current invasion.

So let's review our character updates...


Martin is now Ryan, a former Fifth Columnist who came along with the sleeper agents 20 years ago and now lives in secret, as do all the other surviving Earthbound Fifth Columnists.  Unlike them, he's developed a turbulent lump of sympathy for humanity and wants to stop the Visitors before they can execute their plan, whatever that is.

Juliet is now Erica Evans.  Elizabeth Mitchell vamping around and, despite her Big Blonde Sexiness, she somehow fails to convey the earnest natural leadership that Faye Grant had. Still, we all love staring blankly at Elizabeth Mitchell.  So...whatever.

Donovan is now Father Jack, the wooden acting priest who see-saws his way into revolution. Wisely, they shut the fuck up about his doubts by the third episode and he's so fully on board even his peers are wondering how he's still alive.

Diana is Anna (though, as of season two, Diana is Diana again with the return of Badler).  Morena delivers a performance that is deliciously....well, reptilian. All of the Visitors are. But Morena does a great job at being cold and evil.  It's a bit jarring to see her with short hair and not being campy and/or a whore with a heart of gold for the pilot, but then you settle down and let her be the bad guy as the second episode rolls on.

Daniel is now Elizabeth Mitchell's son and, just like David Packard in the original, you're very quickly praying for his death.

That's about as advanced as the series can manage.  It's our three heroes (and the scruffy crazy alien guy making them a quartet) vs. Anna and her nameless horde of very attractive aliens.

The Visitors arrive with the same excuse -- they need water and some anonymous mineral "common on Earth" and, in exchange, will uplift us.  

They are doing a good job at keeping the true plan from us and not making us question the show.  We're more tied up in 24-esque tension and they're keeping the Visitors at arm's length.  We're almost -- but not quite -- seeing it from the POV of the various resistance factions. When we do shift to Anna and the Visitors, we're not really told anything except their immediate concerns, and there's no easy way for any of our heroes to stumble through the air vents and discover the truth.

However, now that I typed this out, I realize that episode four had better have our new Martin explain some shit or else...

So...um...here we go.

« Last Edit: January 06, 2011, 10:46:59 PM by nacho »

Offline nacho

  • Hallowed are the Ori.
  • Walter The Farting Dog
  • You're a kitty!
  • *****
  • Posts: I am a geek!!
    • GS
Re: V
« Reply #139 on: January 06, 2011, 11:20:37 PM »
Oh! And the most important of all -- Scott Wolf is the new Christine.  That character is actually the best handled of all.  Where the Visitors all too easily took over the media in the original.  Not so easy here... They have a massive public opinion battle, and while the guy Scott Wolf is playing is in the role of a collaborator, he is first and foremost a 24 hour news outlet journalist.  He's working his own game, and he and the Visitors are not as heavy-handed about the fascist takeover of the press.

Meanwhile, episode four... Elizabeth Mitchell figures out who Ryan is on her own. After 20 minutes, Ryan finally says -- right, ask me anything. And answers all the questions.  Nice.

Also -- the big joke -- the Visitors have been using the flu vaccine to slowly poison us. (Which, by the way, several experts at the FDA agree with in real life.)

Episode four introduces Bliss. Anna's ability to keep all of the Visitors in a sort of thrall.  Which got tons of complaints from nerddom, but is interesting with season two in mind... That Anna has somehow usurped the Visitors. And that's not a reboot thing, either. Ryan has suggested that Anna has taken an unnatural control over them.

Offline nacho

  • Hallowed are the Ori.
  • Walter The Farting Dog
  • You're a kitty!
  • *****
  • Posts: I am a geek!!
    • GS
Re: V
« Reply #140 on: January 07, 2011, 08:33:52 AM »
Somebody really loves sci-fi girls.  We get Lost and Firefly represented, and recurring guests include that Indian chick from BSG and Lexa Doig... The show's like a mini-reunion from the last decade of sci-fi shows.

The extreme close-ups on Lexa make me wonder if a particularly affectionate dog is running the camera.

Episiode five starts off clumsy, but is overshadowed by various coolness.... The knowledge that a massive invasion fleet is on the way, and Anna starting up the Visitor Youth.

Episode five also brings in the Michael Ironside character. Instead of Tank Tyler, the inhuman killing machine with a heart of gold, we get international terrorist Kyle Hobbes (LOL, Elizabeth Mitchell has to battle Locke in one life, and team up with Hobbes in the next) who's weirdly sleazy and wears very tight jeans.

This time around, the character needs convincing. On the surface he's convinced to seek revenge for being framed by the Visitors, but the real convincing comes when Ryan reveals himself. I guess Hobbes hates lizards more than anything.

Final scene of episode five was written and shot by RC!

Offline nacho

  • Hallowed are the Ori.
  • Walter The Farting Dog
  • You're a kitty!
  • *****
  • Posts: I am a geek!!
    • GS
Re: V
« Reply #141 on: January 07, 2011, 09:39:08 PM »
Episode six is the first part of Final Battle, when the resistance hijacks the signal during the super important Visitor worldwide announcement and tries to expose the truth. What was an awesome moment in Final Battle is actually kind of tepid here. The "John May Lives" message which means nothing to the people of Earth... Or to the viewing audience! Except that he's the near-mythical leader of the Fifth Column on Earth. Of course, we're focused on Ryan reforming the Fifth Column... So do we care about the MIA John May? Not at all.


Offline nacho

  • Hallowed are the Ori.
  • Walter The Farting Dog
  • You're a kitty!
  • *****
  • Posts: I am a geek!!
    • GS
Re: V
« Reply #142 on: January 07, 2011, 10:33:26 PM »
Episode seven features -- domestic squabbles!  And the guy who just arrived on the ship a couple months ago has an outdated comms device that was used 20 years ago by John May.  So... Have the motherships been there for 20 years? (The smaller ships can cloak.) That seems kind of wasteful. Park 29 ships in orbit for decades and, meanwhile, build a gigantic armada for a secondary invasion fleet?  No wonder they need supplies.

Anna's gathering humans to use as food for her babies. But that's because she needs to have babies to make an army (even though one is on the way) to fight the Fifth Column. So that's a post-invasion plan. Overall, we still have no clue -- none whatsoever -- as to the Visitor's plan.  They're "going to annihilate" humanity... For no apparent reason.  And in a weirdly ass backwards way considering one mothership could do the job from orbit.

This episodes big problems: Pregnant women maintain flat bellies, always, and hourglass figures.  Guys who are tortured and cut on and burned and given Star Trek bugs to eat them alive do not bleed or have any blemishes and are covered in a clean white towel.

So... Would that be a kid friendly castration scene, then?

Offline nacho

  • Hallowed are the Ori.
  • Walter The Farting Dog
  • You're a kitty!
  • *****
  • Posts: I am a geek!!
    • GS
Re: V
« Reply #143 on: January 07, 2011, 11:38:03 PM »
Episode eight is the nonsense episode! The Fifth Column decides that they need to capture a Visitor to figure out what Anna's planning.  Now, they have. like, a thousand options here.  Including Anna's wishy washy daughter.  Instead they attempt to lure a trained assassin into their net (with the double purpose of saving human Fifth Column elements that they didn't know about previously and are all weak and useless).

OH! And...Anna's plan? Well, the leader of the Fifth Column on the ships is Anna's trusted lieutenant...so...they can find out the plan, literally, with an alien phone call.  In fact, why hasn't he said shit yet?  Man, who wrote this script? Did my potted fern write this?

Also, the combat trained two tours of duty Iraq vet has poor trigger discipline.


Offline nacho

  • Hallowed are the Ori.
  • Walter The Farting Dog
  • You're a kitty!
  • *****
  • Posts: I am a geek!!
    • GS
Re: V
« Reply #144 on: January 08, 2011, 12:39:00 AM »
Episode nine.

So...Ryan's fiancĂ©e has been pregnant with the Starchild since early in the series. And it's been silly.  But now Anna learns about it!

Visitor soldiers are Terminators... Anna has laid thousands of soldier eggs in a matter of days and, yet, there's that armada out in deep space slowly coming to Earth.  Why do they need the armada if the queen is at Earth and can lay thousands of soldier eggs that mature in a weekend at will?

And why's the supreme leader overseeing this operation anyway?  The vast armada sort of suggests that there are many, many Visitors.  What are they doing while their queen entertains herself with this sideshow on Earth?

And why does the greenscreen suck so bad?  All the shit on the ships is greenscreened... And it's so obvious it borders on 1980's PBS Sunday morning religious children's sci-fi programming.

OG Doctor Who cardboard corridors were more convincing.

The ship sets aren't complicated...why greenscreen them? There's, like, three sets used.  Anna's chambers, the corridors, and various similar rooms. They're all white on grey, featureless, and without furniture. Give me $5000 and I can make those sets out of Styrofoam and cardboard in my bedroom.

Anyway... Enough of that.  Elizabeth Mitchell not only drinks her vodka straight, but she chills it in the freezer.  So I love her even more.


Offline nacho

  • Hallowed are the Ori.
  • Walter The Farting Dog
  • You're a kitty!
  • *****
  • Posts: I am a geek!!
    • GS
Re: V
« Reply #145 on: January 08, 2011, 01:11:58 AM »
Episode ten.  

Elizabeth Mitchell Is Hot episode.

Big ++ when Hobbes walks in on Mitchell working out, the priest watching, and he says, "It's like Thornbirds in here!"

Wow... Had to pause and laugh for a bit.

This episode (and the whole series, really) is starting to parallel the original series.  The 85-86 TV series, I mean.  A season of pain and agony for the audience.  Weird, disjointed standalone episodes that start off frenetically, meander through two acts, then end with a boom.

Also, Anna's daughter, the heir apparent, doesn't know what's really going on?

« Last Edit: January 08, 2011, 01:43:43 AM by nacho »

Offline nacho

  • Hallowed are the Ori.
  • Walter The Farting Dog
  • You're a kitty!
  • *****
  • Posts: I am a geek!!
    • GS
Re: V
« Reply #146 on: January 08, 2011, 01:49:10 PM »
Right! Time to finish up season one. I can say that, so far, it's been better than V: The Series.  But, then, so is a root canal.

Episode 11!

The big issue I have is that, in the original, Diana was ultimate evil, yes. They all were. The Fifth Column was, more or less, opposed to "The Leader" back home and his endless wars and the means with which he fought them (enslaving lesser peoples and brainwashing them). It's sort of implied that the Fifth Column exists more because enough is enough, not because human emotions have "infected" them like a virus... Which is how the new series handles it.

Also, Anna is so over the top evil that even her evil lieutenants are constantly questioning her. That seems kind of silly.  Okay, Joshua is Fifth Column, but Mr Cold Face isn't. Has Anna always been homicidally, irrationally evil? If so, why's Mr Cold Face so uncomfortable now? Or is he being slowly infected? Or does he just like to cast WTF glances at Joshua because he's gay?

Joshua ignores him. Which is hilarious because he clumsily tries to recruit everybody -- including Anna's daughter! -- into the Fifth Column. So here's lieutenant Cold Face obviously unsure of Anna and Joshua just stares impassively back at him.  If they teamed up, then...well, then the show would be over.

In which case, why make Cold Face so questioning? He's obviously based on the deliciously wicked Stephen (Andrew Prine) in the original. Stephen was more evil than Diana and, in fact, kind of looked down at her. He treated Diana like a rube -- like the exiled ex-lover of the Leader that she was.

The whole plotline where Anna demands everyone be as emotionless as she is (even though we and they know that the Fifth Column can be identified by their immunity to Bliss) and then "makes an example" of her daughter by beating her to death, carving up her face, and breaking her legs is really stupid. The daughter is now the image of human on V hatred, and how shocking that is, and maybe the Visitors should leave, and... Sob sob.

Huh? YOUR SHIPS EMIT A CHEMICAL THAT CONTROLS EVERYONE'S MINDS! When we first see the Bliss used, it clearly affects people, too. And everyone's being injected with the R6 shit -- whatever the fuck that is -- so... Maybe she just wanted to beat up her daughter. Like Tyler beating up Jared Leto in Fight Club.

Episode 11 is when we get the Red Dust. Instead of it coming from a hyybrid, it's just an accident that some geek rogue scientist stumbled across... But he doesn't know! Elizabeth Mitchell puts two and two together.  Thank god for those high level FBI biology classes!

She finds it just in time, too! The president gives the Visitors police powers and Elizabeth Mitchell coincidentally stumbled across the plot against scientists who are able to make lizard killing bacteria! Whatever they are.  A specific subset of lizard killers.

Now...episode 12!

Elizabeth Mitchell is invited to dinner, and plans to coordinate an attack on the soldier eggs with the shipboard Fifth Column. The Starchild is born. Lisa switches sides (and Joshua swears allegiance to her as queen...?). The armada arrives and is ordered to cloak and wait for...no reason. I guess Anna wants to prove herself by hatching a million soldiers to eradicate a tiny, guerrilla army that's hopelessly outmatched already. (We still don't know what the plan is. Apparently it is just to wipe out humanity but, again, why do you need a thousand ships and months of agonizing political role playing to do so?) Hobbes is trading the Red Dust formula for cash (and also getting Cold Face off the ship). We're in clumsily written finale country, ladies and lizards!

I'm really frustrated that we never learn the full plan. What the hell are the Fifth Column fighting against, then? There's something going on...some sort of experimentation. There's the R6 thing. Why are the Visitors bending over backwards to win the hearts and minds of humanity if they simply want to kill us?

I appreciate the mystery, but we really need better hints. Like in the original, before Donovan discovers the truth, there are all these tantalizing little hints. The Visitors are dumping the mineral they supposedly need, and the populations of whole towns go missing, and there's that wonderful purge of the scientists... So the audience knows, before we learn the awful truth of the plan, that the Visitors are up to something. They're taking over, they're vanishing people, they're lying.

The water and mineral that the new Visitors are after is never mentioned again after the pilot. We see experiments being done on people, but they don't make sense and are all futuristic and shit.

Also, why's it take 12 episodes before we get space guns!  The Visitors are fighting with knives and shit the whole time... Then suddenly they're armed with phasers?

Father Jack's "V for Victory" homily falls really flat...which is a shame.  He says that "there is a war on" then adds "for our souls." Then he rolls on a bit and says "Let V no longer stand for Visitor... Let V stand for Victory!"

It's the least rousing call to arms I've ever seen put to film. Which is weird, because the whole damn season has been building up to him making that speech.  But the whole aspect that there is a war on is lost because everything's lame and there's no real cohesion amoung the resistance. The emotion of the struggle is completely beyond the writers.

We end with Anna turning the sky red (we don't know what it means, but it pisses off Cold Face enough to go revive Joshua). Oh no! Something we don't understand is happening!!

Roll credits.


 

Offline nacho

  • Hallowed are the Ori.
  • Walter The Farting Dog
  • You're a kitty!
  • *****
  • Posts: I am a geek!!
    • GS
Re: V
« Reply #147 on: January 08, 2011, 02:42:55 PM »
Season two!

Episode one...

This episode is one, long apology for the last season.  So, in 40 minutes, they tell us everything. The Visitors want our women! They want to make babies! Thank god Rekha Sharma is on the cast. She can share pointers from her BSG experience where the Cylons were after the same thing.

We end with the Jane Badler reveal. V's audience goes up from 112 people whose TV's are stuck on one channel to 347 people!


Offline nacho

  • Hallowed are the Ori.
  • Walter The Farting Dog
  • You're a kitty!
  • *****
  • Posts: I am a geek!!
    • GS
Re: V
« Reply #148 on: January 14, 2011, 01:20:46 AM »
Season two, episode two:

Whew!  Is this the first time Jane Badler has acted in 25 years?  And why does Diana have a fake British accent?  And who's been doing her back alley plastic surgery? And whose idea was it to shoehorn Diana into this series? Because they did so with a two by four and not a pen.

So, other plotlines: Diana and the V's have been here for 20 years trying to interbreed with humans to....something something...and...something something.  Tyler may be half V!  Which is good because Lisa is the only other fertile V female in the galaxy, besides crazy Anna.  Too bad she's Fifth Column now. 

(Prediction: We're all V's! Hi BSG!)

An interesting commentary on how much Elizabeth Mitchell's Earth-side Fifth Column sucks is that this episode sees the launch of terrorist attacks on Visitor outposts on Earth.  In the confessional with Father Jack, we're pretty much told that if only Mitchell, Ryan, Jack, and the Earth-side Fifth Column got their shit together, people wouldn't be getting blown up.

This is not told to us as any sort of storyline. It's what we infer. This shit goes down and all of our heroes are like, golly gee, what do we do now?

Hey, assholes, you've got EVERYTHING YOU NEED at your disposal! Get your asses in gear.

This episode also introduces the Starchild (for now an infant).

It also takes till this episode to show a Visitor eating, in a clumsy scene that parallels Donovan's big vent shaft revelation scene in the original when Diana eats a guinea pig.

So what's Badler get to do?  She gets to spend the entire episode talking to Anna about the "human soul" and how important it is. At which point Anna swears that she will "destroy the human soul!!!"

Um...okay. You go do that, Anna.

For some reason, I'm thinking historical what if... 

What if Hitler's generals actually had balls and moved him to a ceremonial position? Hey, boss, why don't you and Himmler go look for the Holy Grail.  We'll be over here in Normandy repulsing the Allied invasion.  Okay, bye-bye!

File deletion joy level: 9.8.



Offline nacho

  • Hallowed are the Ori.
  • Walter The Farting Dog
  • You're a kitty!
  • *****
  • Posts: I am a geek!!
    • GS
Re: V
« Reply #149 on: January 23, 2011, 02:56:53 PM »
What's really awesome is how this show is retconning itself within only 15 episodes.  It's hilarious.