Children of the Sun > Movies & Entertainment

I don't wanna hurt you buddy

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nacho:
So you're with a few other goons who have been sent out by the major antagonist of a film or tv show.  You aren't a mindless gang, you're just his security detail or something.  You have to go shut up the hooker with a heart of gold.

Then you stumble across her protector, Adrian Paul as the Highlander.  He takes out the first two guys -- and you see this -- like they were made of butter.  And these first two guys came at him with knives and karate moves and all this fucking shit and the hero just whipped through them.  Down in seconds.

Do you, or any of the other goons, continue the attack?  I think not.  Karate Joe and Slices McCoy just got calmly ripped to shreds by this big guy in a trenchcoat who then stands there, without having broken a sweat, waiting for you to come.

Everybody in the world would give up and run.

This is why I want to write TV scripts.  The real reactions.

Remaining goon:  Woah, woah, woah!  Okay, there, big fella.  We'll leave the girl alone.  I'll go kill my boss for you.

yotoc:

--- Quote from: nacho ---So you're with a few other goons who have been sent out by the major antagonist of a film or tv show.  You aren't a mindless gang, you're just his security detail or something.  You have to go shut up the hooker with a heart of gold.

Then you stumble across her protector, Adrian Paul as the Highlander.  He takes out the first two guys -- and you see this -- like they were made of butter.  And these first two guys came at him with knives and karate moves and all this fucking shit and the hero just whipped through them.  Down in seconds.

Do you, or any of the other goons, continue the attack?  I think not.  Karate Joe and Slices McCoy just got calmly ripped to shreds by this big guy in a trenchcoat who then stands there, without having broken a sweat, waiting for you to come.

Everybody in the world would give up and run.

This is why I want to write TV scripts.  The real reactions.

Remaining goon:  Woah, woah, woah!  Okay, there, big fella.  We'll leave the girl alone.  I'll go kill my boss for you.
--- End quote ---


Nonono.  You have to stand on the edge of the fight, jumping up and down and waving your arms around like you're really doing something.  Waiting for your turn to get your ass kicked.  Just like in EVERY FUCKING KUNG-FU MOVIE EVER MADE!  So retarded.  Why wasn't the good guy ever swarmed, killed and then roll credits.  Oh, wait...

nacho:
One reason why I liked early Jackie Chan.  The untouched 80's stuff.  Police Story 1 and 2 and the Project A's.  When everybody swarmed him and always beat him up.  They'd win a few times, then Jackie would have no choice but to go get the big wigs and have a private battle with them.

But he'd have those group battles where he'd throw a dozen guys back at once, spin around, screw up...

Kill Bill sort of did that when she went after Lucy Lui.  But it wasn't quite like Jackie Chan in the playground in Police Story 1 when twelve guys would rush him at once and beat the shit out of him.

Tyson:

--- Quote from: nacho ---One reason why I liked early Jackie Chan.  The untouched 80's stuff.  Police Story 1 and 2 and the Project A's.  When everybody swarmed him and always beat him up.  They'd win a few times, then Jackie would have no choice but to go get the big wigs and have a private battle with them.
--- End quote ---


Oh my god. I love you.

80s Chan was the best.

Then they Americanized him and stopped letting him be the action choreographer. What I love about so many of his movies is that the camera isn't close up, cutting three times a second. It's out and it follows the rhythm and flow of the fighting. Fast forward through the cheesy plot and watch the amazing fighting over and over and over and over.

Drunken Master is one of my favorites.

I need to load up at Netflix. Relive the high school days.

nacho:
I had this guy in San Fran make dubs for me and send them for $15 a pop.  In the late 80's and early 90's all you could find of Chan was "The Protector."  As the Ma and Pop's died out, Blockbuster was anti-Chan.  Back when they were owned by Mormons!  If I knew then, and had the money, that I have now, I would have cleaned out the dying Ma and Pops.  Chan, Woo, Hark, Nailgun Massacre, Night of the Comet...all these videos that have release rights trouble (or have been edited) in the recent DVD dump era.

I loved the risk Jackie took back then.  Hong Kong gave him a city block, gratis, to film and train.  He'd go through stunt guys by the film... And then the whole Armor of God incident when he lost a quarter of his skull -- and went back to film three weeks later!  

So the San Fran guy would convert the tapes to NTSC or whatever needed to be done and send them out.  I'd get a bunch at once and sit there, awe-struck.

Still, those tapes are more complete than the hack DVD versions that have been hitting the shelves since Jackie got big.

We missed the Jackie thing.  He came to us in his 40's.  He'd been trying to get into the US market since 1982 and it took, what, till 1998?  Just imagine if we got young Jackie?  Filmed in Hong Kong with no rules Chan and get shown over here.

There was a theater in NYC that I got up to every once in a while.  They showed Chan during that period.  True Romance featured the theater, when they went to see Street Fighter.  God, those were the days.  Everything is so empty today.  The real indie theaters are gone.  Now we get the classy yuppie indie theaters.  The weird-ass releases on DVD are sliced up.  The real shit is tied up in byzantine rights issues.  No one cares to fight for them, either...

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