Yo, Ho, Ho, and a bottle of Rum . . .

[RottingCorpse]

Okay, let's talk rum. It's one of those liquors that's used poorly by novices.

Matt, Tyson, and Queenie, you crazy young 'uns, may I suggest Captian Morgan and Coke, or what we called back in my school daze, "The Clubhouse Cream Soda."

[Tatertots]

I rarely get a chance to drink rum. Maybe it's because the good stuff is too expensive?

Or is it like vodka where the cheap shit isn't much worse than the best?

[RottingCorpse]

Cheap rum is fucking battery acid.

[Goblin_Queen]

I'm afraid of alcohol still.  Rum sounds scarier than tequila or even whiskey.  I'm thinking rum is the kind of thing that's meant to fuck you up...like crack.

[fajwat]

dark Mount Gay.  Clear rum is from the devil.  Spiced rum always felt harsh, and I don't like being locked into the spices.

Mount Gay has several reasonably priced dark rums -- I prefer the darker ones.

[Matt]

Clear rum is the devil, I agree. I feel nauseous drinking clear rum these days. Spiced rum is much better and I like the mix with Coke or Pepsi much better. I should probably be using Coke though, since it's less sweet than Pepsi.

But yeah, when I want to get fucked up, I'll hit up the carbonation and rum.

[nacho]

Rum's an odd mistress.  I always linger with Bacardi, which has to be with coke.  But Captain Morgans...mmm... And, for some reason, I can only mix the Captain with Dr. Pepper.  Those two are a magic combination.

Shit.  Now I have The Calling.

Rum and OJ works, as well. The "rum screwdriver," but you can add various things and create any number of "sunrise" variations.  I find that the soda gets a bit cloying after awhile.  (Say, five rum and cokes in.)

Now, let's talk Feuerzangenbowle (literally: flaming fire punch).  My German teacher in college turned me onto that shit.  Get yourself some heated, mulled wine in a big bowl.  Put a cone of sugar across the top on a stake.  Pour 151 rum over the cone and torch it.  Tell stories by the light of flaming sugar while you empty the 151 into the punch.  About a finger of that shit takes you to the mushroom planet.

Rum has long been my friend. 

[Matt]

oh my god I have to try that at the next party the campus newspaper has. Desribe how this cone of sugar and stake works. Is there a video or diagram? I want to go to the mushroom planet very badly, and I don't wanna fuck up my ticket.

[nacho]

oh my god I have to try that at the next party the campus newspaper has. Desribe how this cone of sugar and stake works. Is there a video or diagram? I want to go to the mushroom planet very badly, and I don't wanna fuck up my ticket.

It takes time.  Thus the story telling during the process.  Directions pasted below.

DO NOT do the alternative sugar cube thing.  It comes out all wrong and looks retarded. The cone is cool.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/courtneypix/314478406/

You should be able to find German sugar cones in the international aisle of any major supermarket.  Or a specialty store.  Around here, we have a bunch of German stores, so that's easy.
Here's an online place:  http://www.germandeli.com/norzuc.html

But if you search for german sugar, german sugar cone, etc, you'll probably find it all over the place.

3 bottles of red wine (2-3 liters total)
2 cinnamon sticks
cardamom
allspice
1-2 oranges
1-2 lemons
5 cloves

1. In a large pot or kettle filled with red wine, add cinnamon sticks, cardamom, and allspice. Cut up the oranges and lemons (optional: make peel spirals), crush fruit to release the juice, and add to the punch along with the cloves. Warm to a steaming mixture. Do not boil!
2. Place a German sugar cone (Zuckerhut, sugar loaf)* on a metal rack/screen or clamped in metal tongs above the warm punch. (Substitute sugar cubes if you can't get a Zuckerhut.) Slowly pour high-proof rum over the Zuckerhut or sugar cubes and let soak for a minute. Carefully light the Zuckerhut or sugar cubes and let the flaming sugar carmelize and drip into the punch mix. Add rum as needed to keep the flame going until the Zuckerhut process is done. Serve the punch hot in mugs or hot-tea glasses. (Note: Traditionally, Feuerzangenbowle was prepared with the Zuckerhut sitting on crossed swords atop the pot.)

[Matt]

thank you; I've filed that away for next year's winter party.

[Tatertots]

Oh, sweet 181, I've had a few shots of you before.

Next time, I wont do them at the same time.

[monkey!]

Okay, let's talk rum. It's one of those liquors that's used poorly by novices.

Matt, Tyson, and Queenie, you crazy young 'uns, may I suggest Captian Morgan and Coke, or what we called back in my school daze, "The Clubhouse Cream Soda."

My flatmate [the budding Actor] was Captain Morgan several weeks back for some promo thinger....

P.S. He's also appearing in a new Heather Graham film [Buy, Borrow, Steal] that'll be coming out next year.

P.P.S. His girlfriend, who's just finishing filming for a Heineken ad [got a few thousand for 2 days work] meeting the director [golden globe winner, some frenchie] after having impressed in an audition for the leading role in a $4m dollar film. She also recently won a Loreal modelling thing with the chance to get into Vogue.

Wow... that was a digression and a half.

I don't really like Rum all that much. It's okay in coke or whatever though.

[monkey!]

Okay, let's talk rum. It's one of those liquors that's used poorly by novices.

Matt, Tyson, and Queenie, you crazy young 'uns, may I suggest Captian Morgan and Coke, or what we called back in my school daze, "The Clubhouse Cream Soda."

P.P.P.S. I'm a "crazy young 'un" too...

[RottingCorpse]

Right, but you're European which means you were weaned at the teat of a distillery and already know of these things.

[monkey!]

Right, but you're European which means you were weaned at the teat of a distillery and already know of these things.

This is true... but I still feel hurt.