Author Topic: The Perfect Martini  (Read 8498 times)

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Offline nacho

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The Perfect Martini
« on: March 23, 2007, 12:59:51 PM »
Okay!  GS Martini Time.  I'm new to the martini world.  My uncle bought me a shaker for Christmas and I've spent the time since an invalid on Too Many Drugs, so it's time to get back into the swingtime.  So I pour in a bunch of vodka or gin, a tiny whisper of vermouth and a dash of olive juice to dirty it up.  Simple, right?

Let's have some pointers and more complicated recipes from all of you college kids who drink sterno and have no idea what I'm talking about. 

Discuss!

Offline Nubbins

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Re: The Perfect Martini
« Reply #1 on: March 23, 2007, 01:13:51 PM »
I like beer martinis.
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Offline Nubbins

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Re: The Perfect Martini
« Reply #2 on: March 23, 2007, 01:14:50 PM »
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Offline nacho

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Re: The Perfect Martini
« Reply #3 on: March 23, 2007, 01:31:27 PM »
Why thank you, kind Nubbins.

Offline nacho

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Re: The Perfect Martini
« Reply #4 on: March 23, 2007, 01:50:09 PM »
Okay.  I'm planning a Martini party.  Gotta go get supplies tonight.  So excited!  Gonna get really drunk and rape nuns!

Offline Nubbins

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Re: The Perfect Martini
« Reply #5 on: March 23, 2007, 02:59:31 PM »
YES! 

Martinis sound pretty awesome.  The only problem with them that I can see is that it looks like you need about 45 bottles of different kinds of liquor if you want to experience any sort of variety with them.
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Offline nacho

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Re: The Perfect Martini
« Reply #6 on: March 23, 2007, 04:15:08 PM »
No, no. The great thing about martinis is that all you need is one bottle because, after two of them, you're drunk and it doesn't matter.

Offline Nubbins

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Re: The Perfect Martini
« Reply #7 on: March 23, 2007, 05:56:22 PM »
oh sweet!  So it's really just all about the shape of the glass you put it in then... also add an olive for instant margarita status.
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Offline nacho

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Re: The Perfect Martini
« Reply #8 on: March 23, 2007, 06:09:28 PM »
Yeah.  Get a martini glass, fill it to the brim with very cold gin (or vodka), put an olive in it, drink.  Bang -- you are a martini wizard.  Most folks look down on the vermouth, too.  So, essentially, you're just drinking two shots of gin.

Offline fajwat

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Re: The Perfect Martini
« Reply #9 on: March 24, 2007, 08:19:05 AM »
Yeah.  Get a martini glass, fill it to the brim with very cold gin (or vodka), put an olive in it, drink.  Bang -- you are a martini wizard.  Most folks look down on the vermouth, too.  So, essentially, you're just drinking two shots of gin.

(or vodka). 

Dude, that's what I thought.  No one would listen to me.  Big martini craze in the 90's.  Ugh.
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Offline nacho

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Re: The Perfect Martini
« Reply #10 on: March 24, 2007, 09:55:42 AM »
It's about showmanship.  The mix, the shake, the pour, presentation.  People become various types of alcohol snobs but they don't really understand it.  They just do it because it's a fad, not out of appreciation for the liquor.

The martini, traditionally, is about mixing stuff.  The holy monkeys list of recipes above as a great example.

Where'd the martini turn stupid? Hollywood James Bond. For instance, the real James Bond martini --

3oz gin
1oz vodka
1/2 oz Kina Lillet

A weird combination, and it'll flatten you, but the gin and vodka together produce a nice little feather of devilry in your soul.

Hollywood changed it to just a plain old vodka martini.  Easy to say and be cool, as opposed to the comic scene in Casino Royale where he ordered a real James Bond Martini and everybody was like, "huh?"

When people become martini snobs -- or aficionados -- they go right to the vodka martini and stop.  It's trailer trash alcohol snobbery.  There are so many recipes that no bartender can make but, nevertheless, define the martini experience.  Look to Nubbins' list again -- scotch martinis, whiskey, rum, wild mixes, colors, etc.  But all that stuff is faggot stuff, no?  Would a whiskey martini be a faggot martini?  It's basically an amped up whiskey sour.

Strangely, the best martini bartender I've run across (and I didn't have any sadly, just watched) was a 22 year old behind the Blennerhasset Hotel's bar in Parkersburg, WVA.

Offline Malorn

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Re: The Perfect Martini
« Reply #11 on: March 27, 2007, 04:10:31 PM »
Yeah.  Get a martini glass, fill it to the brim with very cold gin (or vodka), put an olive in it, drink.  Bang -- you are a martini wizard.  Most folks look down on the vermouth, too.  So, essentially, you're just drinking two shots of gin.

I rarely drink them but when I do I like gin martinis, no vodka, with a healthy splash of vermouth, and served dirty.  The colder and dirtier the better.

I don't know why anyone would NOT want the vermouth or try the "swirl the glass with vermouth" shit.  Just put it in the fucking glass and back away.

-M

Offline nacho

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Re: The Perfect Martini
« Reply #12 on: March 27, 2007, 04:13:23 PM »
The swirl thing is pure snobbery.

Offline RottingCorpse

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Re: The Perfect Martini
« Reply #13 on: April 04, 2007, 05:42:05 PM »
Dude, I so want a martini right now.

Offline nacho

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Re: The Perfect Martini
« Reply #14 on: April 04, 2007, 06:30:55 PM »
My Ketel One has been in a deep freeze...it pours out like syrup over the clear ice in the shaker.  Immediately, the metal frosts over with thick, white, delicate ice.  Vermouth, some olive juice, maybe a dash of bitters?  Gently shake, pour into the tall glass.  Mmmm... I'll be doing that in about an hour.