Author Topic: Adventurers  (Read 38184 times)

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Offline nacho

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Adventurers
« on: February 02, 2007, 01:32:43 PM »
from elsewhere --

Quote
In an effort to prove that nothing is impossible if you're fucking crazy enough to try it-- and lucky enough not to get killed in any one of a thousand ways-- Martin Strel, a guiness record-holding marathon swimmer, has decided to throw on his wetsuit and swim up the goddamn Amazon River.

Yes, that Amazon River. Swimming. For more than 3,000 miles. (Or more than 5,000 kilos, if you prefer.)

In 2000, he swam the length of the Danube. In 2002, he swam the length of the Mississippi. In 2004, he swam about 2500 miles of the Yangtze. He holds the record for longest distance swum non-stop after swimming 313 miles in 84 hours and ten minutes in 2001. Jesus.

So, the guy is clearly a physical dynamo. I mean, really, if you can swim that far already, I don't see endurance being much of an issue.

On the other hand, the Amazon is studded with thousands of things that can fucking kill you. This looks like the equivalent of a world record-holding marathon runner saying, "And now, I'm going to run 26 miles through a track strewn about with randomly placed land mines!"

Granted, he's not alone. He's got both foreigners and natives with him in boats as support staff and guides and such, but that doesn't make it much less hardcore. It just makes it vaguely possible. We'll see.

It's amazing he can swim at all. I imagine his enormous balls would get in the way.

You can keep up with his progress at www.amazonswim.com. He's just started off his journey and has only been swimming for about 32 hours.

http://www.amazonswim.com/main.php
« Last Edit: March 09, 2010, 10:48:31 AM by nacho »

Offline Nubbins

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Re: Swimming the Amazon
« Reply #1 on: February 02, 2007, 01:47:51 PM »
This guy is batshit.  The Amazon can be fucking terrifying and there is no way in hell I'd even think to attempt this.
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Offline fajwat

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Re: Swimming the Amazon
« Reply #2 on: February 02, 2007, 01:49:08 PM »
wow.
"If it were up to me I would close Guantánamo not tomorrow but this afternoon... Essentially, we have shaken the belief that the world had in America's justice system... and it's causing us far more damage than any good we get from it."

-Colin Powell

Offline Reginald McGraw

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Re: Swimming the Amazon
« Reply #3 on: February 02, 2007, 01:50:02 PM »
The Amazon can be fucking terrifying...

As I know from my frequent trips there with super-models and motorcycles!!

 :D

Offline Nubbins

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Re: Swimming the Amazon
« Reply #4 on: February 02, 2007, 01:51:50 PM »
I didn't bring it up you did!
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Offline RottingCorpse

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Re: Swimming the Amazon
« Reply #5 on: February 02, 2007, 03:57:58 PM »
My balls just shrivelled two sizes.

Offline nacho

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Re: Swimming the Amazon
« Reply #6 on: February 02, 2007, 04:06:53 PM »

Offline Nubbins

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Re: Swimming the Amazon
« Reply #7 on: February 02, 2007, 04:32:29 PM »
There are also over 200 species of animals there that use electricity to hunt/stun/kill their prey.
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Offline RottingCorpse

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Re: Swimming the Amazon
« Reply #8 on: February 02, 2007, 04:42:14 PM »
The more you guys say, the faster this guy moves from the "ballsy" file to the "totally fucking nuts" one.

Offline Nubbins

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Re: Swimming the Amazon
« Reply #9 on: February 02, 2007, 05:55:59 PM »
I know I'm going to get tons of "HAY GUYS LOOK AT ME LAYING SUPERMODELS ON A ROCKETSHIP BOUND FOR THE PLANET VAGINASCAPE MY LIFE IS SO GREAT" but I don't care.  I don't even know what planet vaginascape means.

Anyway, here are a bunch of photos from when I was in Brazil.  It was probably the most profound experience of my life, for real.  I have a bunch of stories of narrow jungle escapes, wild natural violence and utter culture shock.  When I got back, I definitely had the feeling that I had survived something rather than escaped reality on a vacation.  Also, it's the reason that I would never, not for all the money in the world, swim the fucking Amazon river.

Forgive the reflection and loose camera strap visible in some of the pics... I don't have a scanner so pictures of pictures was the best I could do.













deeeeeeeeeeeeerunk as SHIT




16 pounds... biggest bass I've ever caught.


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Offline nacho

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Re: Swimming the Amazon
« Reply #10 on: February 02, 2007, 05:57:37 PM »
So let's have some of those stories.

e: seriously.  Not like, hey, write them for the front page.  Just tell them here.  I love travel stories.
« Last Edit: February 02, 2007, 06:26:17 PM by nacho »

Offline Nubbins

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Re: Swimming the Amazon
« Reply #11 on: February 02, 2007, 06:29:39 PM »
See the bald guy in the first photo?  His name was Chip and he's the biggest dickhead I've ever met.  He came down with another guy, Mark.  Mark was a close friend of my Dad's and they'd worked together back in the early 80's.  Mark and my father had always bonded over their love of fishing and have gone places like Belize to catch exotic fish ever since I can remember.  This time Mark invited Dad to Brazil and Dad brought me.

Anyway, I meet Mark and Chip and together they were among the most sheltered, obnoxious and flat-out yuppie people I've ever met.  Our boat consisted of mostly hardcore anglers from Texas, so these burly Texans looked at these guys in their loafers and khaki safari pants with matching shirts kind of like they were aliens... gay aliens.

The way the trip worked was there were 7 days and 7 guides.  Each day you were paired with a different guide, that way if one guide was better putting people onto big fish, then he'd get spread around to everyone on the trip.  One of these guides was named Leno.  Leno was maybe 17 years old and our trip was literally his very first trip as a guide.  He spent most of the week just trying to keep his boat within sight of the other guides so that, I assume, he wouldn't get lost.  Leno was a shitty guide... he had no idea where to fish, the other guides gave him the shittiest boat with a motor that constantly stalled and you were pretty much guaranteed not to catch any fish with him.  I liked him though because he was very nice and a lot of the other guides weren't. 

So about day 3, Mark and Chip are slated to go out with Leno.  They go out in the morning and come back in around noon for lunch.  We got an hour for lunch and then we head back out to fish until dark, only Mark and Chip refused to get back on the boat with Leno.  They were very vocal about being pissed off that for such an expensive trip, they'd be expected to spend even half a day with a guide who didn't have the ability to put them onto big fish, let alone an ENTIRE day with the kid.  So they didn't go out and Leno didn't go out and Mark and Chip felt like hot shit I guess.

The following day, Mark and Chip were on the boat with Harold.  Harold takes them out that morning and in the only English any of them know says, "Big fish..." nods and points towards the shore.  He beaches the boat along shore, gestures at Mark and Chip to take off their shoes and then heads into the jungle.  They, being the sheltered white fucks they were, did exactly as he said.

So lunch rolls around again, we all meet back at the boat and dig in... only no Mark and Chip.  We wait to see if they're going to be a little bit late, but they still don't show up.  So we finish our lunch and people start to head back out again... still no Mark and Chip.  At this point, Gill who was the head honcho, is becoming worried and is working the radio trying to find them. 

When we get back that evening, Mark and Chip are still not back.  At this point they've been gone for 12 hours in 92 degree equatorial heat, they only had a single cooler with about 6-8 drinks in it, they've had no food and it is now dark on the Amazon.  When they finally did show up again, they could not walk for all the burrs, splinters and gigantic stingers in their legs.  They were both white as sheets and looked as if they'd seen ghosts.

They told us later that Harold took them into the jungle without water or shoes (seriously, it's fucking Brazil... what kind of idiot would do this just because a guide told you to?) and he'd put them on some huge fish at a big pond about half a mile into the jungle.  After an hour or so of being stung by wildlife, keeping an eye out for gators and snakes and having no water whatsoever, they told Harold they wanted to head back.  They started to head back, only Harold got "lost".

They spent the next 5-6 hours in the jungle, barefoot and trying to find their way out.  They'd get a free trip out of the deal and survive with a great story.

What's funny to me (and I think Mark and Chip never put this together) is that I think the guides knew exactly what they were doing.  The way you'd hear Mark and Chip tell the story, it would sound like an adventure gone crazy, but what I think it was was retaliation.  When you're out there you are hundreds of miles from any sort of civilization and the ONLY thing that's keeping you from being completely lost is this handful of guides... so don't fuck with them.
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Offline Tatertots

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Re: Swimming the Amazon
« Reply #12 on: February 02, 2007, 08:38:03 PM »
Nubbins brought up his glamorous life. Which forces me to mention... Triathlons! But seriously:

Compared to athletes who compete in triple-, deca-, and dodeca-Ironmans, this swimming guy's a pussy. (That's 3, 10, and 20 Ironmans. In a row.)

Here's a good story about a deca-Ironman (24 mile swim, 1,120 mile bike, 262 mile run):

http://www.bobbysrun.co.uk/ironman.html

Then again, the Amazon is a whole other story...

Offline fajwat

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Re: Swimming the Amazon
« Reply #13 on: February 02, 2007, 08:54:05 PM »
that's fucking awesome.  I think you're right about the guides.  Too perfect.


more stories, unca Nubbins!  More!!!
"If it were up to me I would close Guantánamo not tomorrow but this afternoon... Essentially, we have shaken the belief that the world had in America's justice system... and it's causing us far more damage than any good we get from it."

-Colin Powell

Offline nacho

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Re: Swimming the Amazon
« Reply #14 on: February 03, 2007, 09:25:10 AM »


Then again, the Amazon is a whole other story...

Right.  This guy's swimming through disease, parasites, predators, weird ass river tricks and, later, extraordinary pollution and real Big Daddy diseases.

Your ironman stuff is done in controlled environments, no?  Or near enough.  This guy may have a support boat, but the length of all those rivers?  2500 miles of the Yangtze?  Rivers are harsh mistresses, let me tell ye.  Yarrr! 

More stories, Nubbins!