Author Topic: The Hobbit  (Read 38840 times)

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Offline monkey!

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Re: The Hobbit
« Reply #180 on: December 18, 2014, 12:23:43 PM »
This is what happens when you stretch a 300 page children's novel over 9 hours of film packed with shitty musical elements and painfully slow progression.
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Offline monkey!

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Re: The Hobbit
« Reply #181 on: January 04, 2015, 01:01:16 PM »
I went to see "The Hobbit 3: Return to Dragon Dome, this time it's personal" last night with the parents... pushy, maudlin crap with little cohesion. Still, better than the second one.
There will come a day for every man when he will relish the prospect of eating his own shit. That day has yet to come for me.

Offline nacho

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Re: The Hobbit
« Reply #182 on: January 04, 2015, 01:20:10 PM »
Oral surgery is better than the second one.

Offline monkey!

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Re: The Hobbit
« Reply #183 on: January 04, 2015, 02:10:24 PM »
Do you have a word replacement for surgery/rape?
There will come a day for every man when he will relish the prospect of eating his own shit. That day has yet to come for me.

Offline nacho

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Re: The Hobbit
« Reply #184 on: January 07, 2015, 08:56:58 PM »
From the very beginning Battle of the Five Armies is awful. Bard the Bowman isn't bothered by the thousand pound bell ringing an inch from his head? He should be on the floor immobilized. Or is he deaf?

Offline nacho

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Re: The Hobbit
« Reply #185 on: January 07, 2015, 09:27:35 PM »
Man, where were these superpowered Ringwraiths in the LotR movies? The creepy monsters have been replaced by poorly rendered videogame avatars.

And since when did Sauron parade around like that? I'm starting to wonder if Peter Jackson ever read the Hobbit.

Offline monkey!

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Re: The Hobbit
« Reply #186 on: January 08, 2015, 06:40:10 AM »
I get the feeling he asked an intern to read through Silmarillion and tie it in with the Hobbit in less than five minutes.
There will come a day for every man when he will relish the prospect of eating his own shit. That day has yet to come for me.

Offline nacho

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Re: The Hobbit
« Reply #187 on: January 08, 2015, 07:40:04 AM »
I get the feeling he asked an intern to read through Silmarillion and tie it in with the Hobbit in less than five minutes.

Yes! Like it was some sort of sick game.

I made it through an hour then had to give up. I'll knock out the rest tonight, I suppose, just to say I did... But holy shit. This whole trilogy has been an experiment in terror.

Offline monkey!

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Re: The Hobbit
« Reply #188 on: January 08, 2015, 07:58:20 AM »
I get the feeling he asked an intern to read through Silmarillion and tie it in with the Hobbit in less than five minutes.

Yes! Like it was some sort of sick game.

I made it through an hour then had to give up. I'll knock out the rest tonight, I suppose, just to say I did... But holy shit. This whole trilogy has been an experiment in terror.

Yes... I suffered through all at once in the cinema. Memories still disgust me.
There will come a day for every man when he will relish the prospect of eating his own shit. That day has yet to come for me.

Offline nacho

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Re: The Hobbit
« Reply #189 on: January 09, 2015, 11:44:42 AM »
Finished it. Utterly horrible. What a shameful way to treat the story... Disgusting.

Offline monkey!

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Re: The Hobbit
« Reply #190 on: January 17, 2015, 06:46:47 AM »
Finished it. Utterly horrible. What a shameful way to treat the story... Disgusting.

We should treat Peter Jackson how the other soldiers treated Mr. Fat-Fuck in Full Metal Jacket. Then wait for him to commit suicide.
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Offline nacho

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Re: The Hobbit
« Reply #191 on: January 17, 2015, 10:47:25 AM »
How sad that it's come to that... He was my b-movie gorefest hero growing up.

Offline monkey!

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Re: The Hobbit
« Reply #192 on: January 17, 2015, 12:57:24 PM »
And now he's a corporate whore.
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Offline nacho

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Re: The Hobbit
« Reply #193 on: January 17, 2015, 01:07:01 PM »
Of course, let's be fair. If someone offered you a billion dollars...

Offline monkey!

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Re: The Hobbit
« Reply #194 on: January 17, 2015, 01:17:05 PM »
Of course, let's be fair. If someone offered you a billion dollars...

I would cast Will Smith as Gandalf the White in the next Star Wars.
There will come a day for every man when he will relish the prospect of eating his own shit. That day has yet to come for me.