Author Topic: Jericho  (Read 13180 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline nacho

  • Hallowed are the Ori.
  • Walter The Farting Dog
  • You're a kitty!
  • *******
  • Posts: I am a geek!!
    • GS
Jericho
« on: September 20, 2006, 09:38:35 PM »
Time to make a thread, since it's on right now.  I loved the pilot.  And I love how CBS describes the show:

Quote
JERICHO is a drama about what happens when a nuclear mushroom cloud suddenly appears on the horizon.

Huh?  Did somebody's three year old cousin write that?

Cass has a better description:

Quote
it's a show about skeet ulrich being skeet ulrich

What it is, really, is Alas, Babylon without the death and Testament without the fucking eye-gouging poor writing and doe-eyed kids shitting in sinks.

Jericho is this itty bitty town out in the middle of nowhere that's full of middle-class patriots who have to make do now that the world's been fucked up by an unexplained nuclear holocaust.  There are the troubled kids, the escaped prisoners, the Barney Fife police, the trouble coming from the city, the black guy who knows how to do shit, the crazy ham operator and, yes, Skeet Ulrich.

So I think episode one is just a rehash of the pilot but... We'll start the ongoing thread that ends up being just me talking about it for 150 posts and then getting mad at the finale.

Offline Tatertots

  • Walter The Farting Dog
  • You're a kitty!
  • *****
  • Posts: 10038
Re: Jericho
« Reply #1 on: September 20, 2006, 09:52:50 PM »
Got any good torrent links for the first season? I'll give it a look on my stolen DSL connection.

Offline nacho

  • Hallowed are the Ori.
  • Walter The Farting Dog
  • You're a kitty!
  • *******
  • Posts: I am a geek!!
    • GS
Re: Jericho
« Reply #2 on: September 20, 2006, 09:58:13 PM »
Just one episode so far.  Leaked pilot is out there.  Tonight's episode is airing...right now!  But I think it's the same.  Look on Torrentspy, man.

Offline Tatertots

  • Walter The Farting Dog
  • You're a kitty!
  • *****
  • Posts: 10038
Re: Jericho
« Reply #3 on: September 20, 2006, 10:12:10 PM »
All the public torrents are always flooded with 400 leechers and 2 seeders. I fucking hate that shit.

Offline nacho

  • Hallowed are the Ori.
  • Walter The Farting Dog
  • You're a kitty!
  • *******
  • Posts: I am a geek!!
    • GS
Re: Jericho
« Reply #4 on: September 20, 2006, 11:37:07 PM »
Yeah, episode one is the same as the pilot.  Ah well.  Next week, then!

Offline Tatertots

  • Walter The Farting Dog
  • You're a kitty!
  • *****
  • Posts: 10038
Re: Jericho
« Reply #5 on: September 21, 2006, 10:11:17 PM »
Hot deaf chick?

Two thumbs up!

Offline Tatertots

  • Walter The Farting Dog
  • You're a kitty!
  • *****
  • Posts: 10038
Re: Jericho
« Reply #6 on: September 21, 2006, 11:32:45 PM »
Was the lame country music video really necessary in the dead-crows scene? Honestly.

I'll give it 2/5. One for the deaf chick and one for the delicious pizza I just ate.

Offline nacho

  • Hallowed are the Ori.
  • Walter The Farting Dog
  • You're a kitty!
  • *******
  • Posts: I am a geek!!
    • GS
Re: Jericho
« Reply #7 on: September 22, 2006, 09:03:32 AM »
Hot deaf chick?

Two thumbs up!

No shit, man.  She was to die for.

Offline nacho

  • Hallowed are the Ori.
  • Walter The Farting Dog
  • You're a kitty!
  • *******
  • Posts: I am a geek!!
    • GS
Re: Jericho
« Reply #8 on: September 27, 2006, 09:41:06 AM »
So reading all this buzz buzz on Jericho and somewhat shocked about the large number of people complaining how Shoshannah Stern (http://imdb.com/name/nm0998074/) always plays a deaf girl (she's been doing the rounds in "Weeds" as well).  So, first of all, that's kind of a stupid complaint.  And, second...well, I don't see where she has a choice.  Weird.

So, anyway, waiting for the first real episode.  Airs tomorrow but, supposedly, it'll be online tonight...

Offline nacho

  • Hallowed are the Ori.
  • Walter The Farting Dog
  • You're a kitty!
  • *******
  • Posts: I am a geek!!
    • GS
Re: Jericho
« Reply #9 on: September 28, 2006, 03:10:39 PM »
NEW ANALYSIS:  DON'T WATCH THIS FUCKING SHOW!

Basically, this episode is devoted to describing nuclear fallout... For the generation of Americans who didn't live through 60 fucking years of Cold War and haven't ever watched a film or a TV show or read a book.  So Jericho is geared towards the newborn to eight year old audience, I guess.

Last week on Jericho:  Melodrama.

Begin episode:  Adventure climbing!  Black man is smarter than all the crackers. 

Instant stupidity:

Total apocalypse seen on the horizon.  Big nuke clouds, right?  Situation is clear to everybody. Jericho is now all alone and must struggle to survive. Skeet to our doctor girl:  Does the clinic have a fallout shelter?

Doctor Girl:  *perplexed* Yes.  What's going on?

Huh?

Crackers don't trust the black guy because he's educated and, therefore, suspicious.  Education consists of the following:  Seal the windows and doors to stop radioactive dust from getting in and rain from the radioactive cloud will also be radioactive.  How the hell would a black man know that?! 

Cracker: *suspicious glare* Durrr...How do you know this stuff?

Black guy:  Because I was in St. Louis after 9/11!

Huh?

Cut to title sequence and "Jericho" theme song, which sounds an awful lot like the "Rescue 911" theme song, without the swelling brave hero music.

Big stupid comment from the first 10 minutes -- All of the gas stations have been abandoned so the pumps don't work.

HUH?!?!

This fucking show is killing me.  You don't need people there to run the pumps.  What the fuck is that?  How does anyone even think to write that line of dialogue?  Has the writer never ever been to a gas station in his life?  WHAT THE FUCK?!

Sad Scene:  Run to the basement to avoid radioactive cloud.  Guy tells his dog goodbye, kisses it, then goes to his basement.  Dog sits there and sadly watches him leave.

Dude -- I think there's room for the dog in your basement.

Deputy Mayor:  Do you realize a nuclear bomb went off yesterday!  There's a radioactive cloud heading this way!

Cracker:  So?  If I'm gonna die in a nuclear blast, I'm going to do it right here, playing pool with my friends.

DM:  But you aren't going to die in a blast.  *dramatic beat*  You're going to get radiation poisoning.  *describes it*

Cracker:  *GASP!*


--------

So a couple of escaped prisoners grab our cop boys in the first episode, right?  Again, itís no secret that the world has ended.  Instead of killing our cop boys (as was suggested in the pilot, but removed in the redone first episode), they just capture them, gag them, and put them in the trunk of the car.  We are reminded of this when, after grabbing a girl, one of the disguised prisoners opens the trunk and says to the seemingly unconscious, gagged and bound cops:  Make a sound and you die.

This is said to them after prisoner number two has already taken the girl far from the car.  So heís just warned the cops to not make a sound in an empty car in a field far away from our damsel in distress.  What?  So they donít disturb the birds or something?

----


Hot deaf girl scene!

Deaf Girl: *Deaf girl retard talk amounting to ďhelloĒ and the damsel in distressís name*

Disguised Prisoner:  *two-for-one special rape face*

Deaf Girl:  *not at all suspicious to see an unfamiliar face in her population 5000 Jericho sheriffís uniform*

KidsÖa town of 5000.  The police force is seven guys.  That deaf girl has seen every cop   in town about one million times in her life.  So a stranger, in uniform, showing up on your doorstep?  Thatís whip out the shotgun time.


---------


Situation -- The vent fan in the shelterís not working.  It needs a new belt.

Skeetís New Girl Interest:  It needs a fanbelt.  Any mid century American car will do.

Mid century American car?  Who talks like that?  Hey, I own a mid century American car!  Oh, wait, no, thatís a car thatís 56 years old.  Letís just pop right out there and find a 57 Chevy because the cloudís coming in less than 30 minutes.

My Acuraís 1990.  Iím going to refer to it from now on as a late century Japanese car.


----------


Deaf Girl Adventure Scene.  Sheís able to follow and participate fully in a conversation even when sheís not looking at the people talking.

Damsel in distress distracts prisoners long enough to grab a display case gun and THREE of the six bullets in the case.  Because if youíre going to shoot your way to freedom, you donít want to have too many bullets weighing you down.

Damsel in distress, sneaking out of the second floor window, casually jumps one story and lands on her feet without any sign of trouble.  The jump is the most artificial and clumsy stunt Iíve seen.  She just sort of hops off the roof and plops down on the ground with a very small half-roll forward onto her knees and a polite little ďOof.Ē  I donít knowÖthatís a bit of a jump.

The shootout is so stupid I canít even begin to describe it.  The damsel and the prisoner are ten feet from each other, guns drawn, and the prisoner cracks off about a half dozen shots to her right trying to shoot Skeet in the far distance while the damsel just stands there, gun aimed, waiting for him to finish squeezing off those shots.

------------

Things not to do:  Black guy gets a lengthy message over the ham radio in Morse code.  He copies it down.  It is NOT shown to us, and he lies about receiving it.  ďI canít get this old thing to work.Ē

Look Ė thatís fucking cheap writing.  You donít do that.  You donít build suspense that way.  Itís not how things work.  Itís write by numbers bullshit.  Itís how you write a script when youíre too stupid to develop characters or plot.

To develop our characters, we are constantly having people ask them how they learned to do whatever they are doing.  The reply is almost always ďI knew a guy onceĒ or stuff like the St. Louis 9/11 routine.

In this episode, four characters are questioned on how they learned their little tricks, all with non-answer replies.  It is possible that there is no script for this show.


------------

Blow up the entrance to the mine.

All clear!

*contact*

*BOOM*

Multiple screen cut showing the explosion.  About a dozen of them.  Cut to close up, to medium shot, to long shot, to side shot, looking up, looking down, closer in, a little bit out, the other side.  Cut-cut-cut-cut.


Offline RottingCorpse

  • Moderator
  • You're a kitty!
  • *******
  • Posts: 23582
  • We got this by the ass!
    • http://www.lonniemartin.com
Re: Jericho
« Reply #10 on: September 28, 2006, 03:15:21 PM »
That sounds dreadful.

Offline Matt

  • working through the 1st 10,000
  • Old Timer
  • Wee Bin Hoker
  • ***
  • Posts: 7670
  • tourist
Re: Jericho
« Reply #11 on: September 28, 2006, 05:07:53 PM »
I was kind of wondering about how Nacho loved it when all the reviews were ripping it apart...

Offline Cassander

  • Cap'n 40 Watt
  • Old Timer
  • Wee Bin Hoker
  • ***
  • Posts: 6087
  • Simmer down now!
Re: Jericho
« Reply #12 on: October 03, 2006, 07:47:54 PM »
the pilot was good....but, whatever.  fuck 'em.
You ain't a has been if you never was.

Offline nacho

  • Hallowed are the Ori.
  • Walter The Farting Dog
  • You're a kitty!
  • *******
  • Posts: I am a geek!!
    • GS
Re: Jericho
« Reply #13 on: July 30, 2007, 04:36:07 PM »
Okay, I'm going to give Jericho another try, thanks to all this press.  50,000 pounds of nuts can't be wrong!

I'm told that the first six episodes are alarmingly bad, and then it gets passable, and then it gets interesting for the finale.  (That's the Lost formula.)

I just can't turn my back so completely on a post-apocalypse story. 

Offline nacho

  • Hallowed are the Ori.
  • Walter The Farting Dog
  • You're a kitty!
  • *******
  • Posts: I am a geek!!
    • GS
Re: Jericho
« Reply #14 on: October 15, 2007, 12:18:11 PM »
Hold it!  I just gave it a second chance... Or third chance, I guess.  I started up after the lousy pilot, where I left off, and plowed through the season... It's problematic, there are some lame sub-plots, but it's good once you settle in.  The stupid romances and relationship shit is useless, but they keep that stuff pretty short.  For the most part, they do a good job with the whole end of the world thing...and they get extra points for showing wear and tear on the set.  By the end of the season, five months have passed since the bombs went off.  Jericho's main street and buildings start to gradually show weathering since, of course, they don't have the equipment or manpower to rebuild things as they decay.  Very nice touch.

Struggling to keep society from falling apart, and eventually becoming embroiled in a battle with the neighboring town, the whole Alas, Babylon thing plays out wonderfully.  The only sub-plot worth paying attention to is Hawkins -- with his secrets (that I complained about when watching the pilot) that slowly come to light as the season moves on, and leads up to the fuck-you finale that's just a notch below Farscape's series finale.  So, yeah, don't push through the first season until the second season is announced, because you'll be pissed.

So... I don't know.  I'm still kind of lukewarm on it, because of the stupid relationship stuff.  Hawkins has his family he's got to deal with, and everybody's got unrequited love issues, and the good brother is a lousy actor, and Gerald McRaney spends the first quarter of the series with the flu and low on air, only to return to be a sort of nothing character after the town holds an election.    Then he's poorly treated in the finale, which pissed me off... Though leads into second season news today:  They're ousting all the old folks, trying to make the show appeal to a younger audience.  Pamela Reed (who plays the mom):

Quote
"The average age of actors on that show is under 40, and those of us over 40 are gone," the 58-year-old actress said, according to Film Stew. Reed made the comments during a panel on ageism at the Los Angeles Femme Film Festival.

Just because she is without a contract doesn't mean she's necessarily off the show as she is scheduled to appear in at least one of the short-order episodes already produced for the show's abbreviated second season. But it does mean that if "Jericho" is to survive for a third season, it could do so without Mrs. Green.