Author Topic: Cinco De Mayo  (Read 1475 times)

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Offline RottingCorpse

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Cinco De Mayo
« on: May 05, 2006, 03:40:56 PM »
A friend of mine who wokrs in advertising sent me this.

Quote from: RC's friend in the ad business
Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Do you suffer from shyness? Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive? If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Tequila.

Tequila is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. Tequila can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything. You will notice the benefits of Tequila almost immediately, and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live. Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past, (well shyness anyway) and you will discover many talents you never knew you had.

Stop hiding and start living, with Tequila. Tequila may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Tequila. However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.

Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.

Tequila. Leave Shyness Behind

Offline Matt

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Re: Cinco De Mayo
« Reply #1 on: May 07, 2006, 04:48:32 AM »
So I perfected my tequila shot technique yesterday, outdrinking someone who's been drinking for at least two years longer than I have... I've got much more mass than he does, though, 'cause he's short and skinny. Then the margaritas came. Then the women, of which I didn't partake in, just sat there and played Halo 2 while an RA in my building and his brother, who will be an RA next year made out with two drunk chicks.

One of the girls was from Michigan, though, so I felt me and her represented Michigan with our shot taking skills. Seriously, though, the guy that I outdrank... he was making like, 3/4ths of a shot. Once when we went out, he didn't finish a shot of rum, complained that it tasted bad. FOOL! YOU DON'T TASTE SHOTS.

Between the five of us, we polished off two bottles of tequila. the weirdest thing was, we started drinking at about 11:00, I left Alex's room at 4 AM, drank some water and fell asleep at 5, woke up at about quarter to ten, and I felt like a million dollars. My liver is so fucking solid right now.

Offline nacho

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Re: Cinco De Mayo
« Reply #2 on: May 07, 2006, 08:55:16 AM »
Then the women, of which I didn't partake in, just sat there and played Halo 2 while an RA in my building and his brother, who will be an RA next year made out with two drunk chicks.


Let's discuss this problem.

Offline Matt

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Re: Cinco De Mayo
« Reply #3 on: May 07, 2006, 02:50:58 PM »
Girlfriend back home = vagina. Secondly, I wasn't drunk enough to do anything. I felt it for the first shots, but by the time 3 or 3:30 AM rolled around, I was pretty sobered up. It's the problem I have whenever I drink: Start relatively hard, but by the end of the night I'm feeling very sober. Last time I went out drinking, between the three of us we polished off a liter of Smirnoff, then we went out and I had three cranberry vodkas and a shot of Southern Comfort and within three hours I was nursing a beer and in another hour and a half I drove a drunk chick's car and drove everyone home. I don't know if that's a lot of alcohol, but I can say with absolute certainty that I have never been fucked up, unable to walk drunk.