And...an episode guide. I'm not sure what Sci-Fi will do to fuck it up, but here's how season 27 originally aired:
Rose (present day)
We leap right in as if the show's been on the air all along. Eccleston is, obviously, newly regenerated, but no details are given on what happened to Paul McGann. We open up with an old, though somewhat obscure enemy: The Autons. The Third Doctor defeated them twice, foiling the plans of the never-seen Nestene Consciousness. The Autons are nice and retro, but the Nestene has been upgraded for the new show.
Nacho's Gin Rating: 3 of 4. The comeback. It's like a fan-made episode and it's cool to finally meet the Nestene after 35 years. And the Auton's are suitably violent.
The End of the World (the year five billion)
And...a fumble. This suffers more from the first episode blues than Rose does. The Doc and Rose go to the end of time to view the destruction of Earth, but odd things are afoot... A gratuitous show-off-the-monster episode, as well as getting Rose's feet wet as the new companion. They're trying to cushion a little bit of a revision to the overall storyline, which is an attempt to deepen the Doctor's character and save themselves the trouble of dealing with the plotline morass of Gallifrey and the Timelords. Technically, there was no "bible" for Doctor Who, nor was there a running story arc. The Timelords showed up at the end of the Second Doctor's time as a clumsy little plot point which destroyed the Doctor's mystique and, as we went on, they became more and more involved in the Doctor's life. By the sixth Doc, it was just ridiculous.
But -- they're gone. Unfortunately, the mystique remains a little tarnished. We get great detail on how the Doctor fought with them in a great final war and survived by chance. So his presence, despite the extermination of his people, isn't all that surprising.
Nacho's Gin Rating: One of four Okay, yes, we get it. Doctor Who's back.
The Unquiet Dead (1869)
As an homage to the first decade of the series, we enjoy a quaint attempt at a historical adventure. 1869. But the true Doctor Who historical adventure just can't be done anymore without making us drink lots of bourbon and start pretending we're Tom Servo, so there's plenty of sci-fi. Overall, enjoyable and fun. The show begins to hit a stride.
Nacho's Gin Rating: 3 of 4. Dickens, ghosts, zombies, a pinch of kitschy comedy.
The Aliens of London (present day)
Back to the modern day, we finally get a sci-fi show that has some sort of insane supernatural event go on and…everybody sees it. And remembers it in later episodes. UNIT returns -- the United Nations Intelligence Taskforce, a secret military organization that was founded during the Second Doctor's term and fought side by side with the Third Doctor. They're a strong fixture in the franchise. And they're no longer working with teletype machines out of a warehouse. They have a War Room!
This is a two-parter that would have been top quality if it wasn't for the gassy Slitheen aliens. The gag is geared towards the kids, while the episode is geared towards the geeks. A weird combination. But UNIT, political apocalypse, and the everybody-sees-it fact above saves it.
First of two parts.
NGR: 3 of 4.
World War Three (present day)
In the conclusion, we get more UNIT, more gassy aliens. The hope of a stronger UNIT presence in the future is not only hinted at, but a sure thing…we're looking at the beginnings of the Torchwood spin-off show here. Torchwood is a planetary defense system that spawns out of this alien invasion. It has nothing to do with this episode, except for the fact that the alien invasion has changed Earth forever…
What quickly becomes tedious throughout the series is the Mickey and Rose dynamic. Companions were usually ripped out of their lives and there were no returns to family or loved ones. With the new show, we spend most of our time in Rose's time period…and in her neighborhood. Her mom and ex-boyfriend are, pretty much, unofficial companions. This is something I hope they change.
NGR: 2 of 4.
Dalek (near future)
The big episode for the comeback. The Daleks first showed up in 1963 and, quickly, became a Dr. Who icon. They've given every Doctor trouble, but were destroyed in the Timelord war. But…were they destroyed? What is that thing in the shadows? What is the big surprise reveal of this episode? I have no idea…I look to the episode title for a clue, but it doesn't fucking -- OH! Dalek! Right.
The title ruins the whole intro before the reveal because, hey, we know. And it's a shame, because it's a great reveal. Even despite the fact that we know, the Doctor's intense shock and panic is wonderful. It's a freakout scene, followed by a bitchin' new-show Dalek that just fucks up everything. Until…a punch is pulled.
I'm torn on this episode. It's sort of the lynchpin of the comeback season. It's important… But it also forgets the usual reaction to the Daleks -- and their outcome. There's an odd mix of the Second Doctor's pity for the monsters he faces and the remorseless destruction that most of the other Doctor's put into motion when dealing with the Daleks. But the dynamic isn't within the Doctor, it's between the Doctor and Rose…it just doesn't work.
NGR: 3 of 4. Death, destruction, a rogue Dalek. But not four of four because we're not on this boat to feel good. You can't market Dr. Who as a children's show when 100% of your fanbase is 20-plus.
The Long Game (the year 200,000)
Simon Pegg in the house! His mere presence ups the episode. We're at one star now.
We're also in the future, on a space station, and crazy shit is happening. More death, more destruction, horrific zombies, laugh out loud Pegg moments. Finally, the show goes traditional. This episode could be dropped into the lap of any Doctor and it would fit.
NGR: 4 of 4. One for Pegg, three for -- Tradition!
Father's Day (present day)
Yawn -- Rose and her dead dad and the timeline gets fucked up.
NGR: 2 of 4. It gets that rating because, when the Timeline is fucked up, it's really fun. But, up until then, it's gin time!
The Empty Child (1941)
A wildly creepy episode set during the Blitz. Loads of fun. Good horror elements here.
NGR: 4 of 4.
Another two parter.
The Doctor Dances (1941)
Conclusion. We don't falter from The Empty Child.
NGR: 4 of 4
Boom Town (present day)
Ah, okay. The farting alien shtick is back. This time, though, it's not as kid-friendly. So we'll give it:
NGR: 2 of 4
Bad Wolf (100 years after The Long Game)
An episode with insane robots, game shows where you die horrifically and, finally, a really good reveal. Though, knowing Sci-Fi, the commercials and previews will destroy that reveal. So, after Boom Town, go on a preview-blackout. If preserved, Bad Wolf is a great episode. And Eccleston really seems comfortable with the Doctor here.
NGR: 4 of 4.
Another two parter.
The Parting of the Ways (100 years after The Long Game/Present Day)
And…there we go. The end of season 27, and of the Ninth Doctor. Continuing from Bad Wolf, post-super-reveal, it stands out as a victorious finale: Proof that the Doctor has returned to television, and has survived that return. For the people getting into the series for the first time -- consider this the introduction.
NGR: 4 of 4.