The Rise & Fall of the Spider-Man Franchise

[nacho]

So, wait, Spider-Man 2 is a slow-moving, tedious comic version of Spider Man which makes fun of the original movie and constantly makes heavy-handed references to Evil Dead 2?  I see.

[RottingCorpse]

The hospital scene is classic Raimi, eh?

Are you just now watching it for the first time?

[nacho]

The hospital scene is classic Raimi, eh?

Are you just now watching it for the first time?

It's been low on my queue.  I'd say why, but I don't remember what I'm renting or burning anymore.  It's all a blur and I'm surrounded by burned DVD's!  I think I'm diseased.

Yeah, there's classic Raimi through the whole...damn...thing.  I see just about every movie he's done in there.  But when you start making more-than-nods to your movies and actually recreating scenes, it's a little rough, I think.  Especially when this movie is hollywood superhero go get 'em Spiderman!! and the other movies are gorefests or outrageous comedies shot on shoestrings.

I'm sitting here thinking (half way through)  YES, I KNOW SAM RAIMI IS THE DIRECTOR!  HELLO IVAN!  

Spider Man 2:  The best of Sam Raimi!  Or:  It's weird recreating scenes from Crimewave without all of the goofy characters.

[nacho]

I have your life in my hands unless you give me what I need.  I am a god compared to you.

Okay, I'll give it to you.  But bring me Spiderman.

Okay!  Gosh!

[Nubbins]

oh come on... it's not THAT bad.

I want Kirsten Dunst to come sit on my lap.

[jreale]

oh come on... it's not THAT bad.

I want Kirsten Dunst to come sit on my lap.

On deck in Nub's qeue: Bring it On.

[RottingCorpse]

Yeah, there's classic Raimi through the whole...damn...thing.  I see just about every movie he's done in there.  But when you start making more-than-nods to your movies and actually recreating scenes, it's a little rough, I think.

We in the directing biz refer to that as "style."

[Nubbins]

oh come on... it's not THAT bad.

I want Kirsten Dunst to come sit on my lap.

On deck in Nub's qeue: Bring it On.

Busted!

[nacho]

I want Kirsten Dunst to come sit on my lap.

You could open cans with those canines of hers.

But, okay guys, let's meet in the middle on this.  It wasn't as bad as Pearl Harbor.

[Nubbins]

It wasn't as bad as Pearl Harbor.

Jesus Christ... what is?

What a piece of shit that movie was.  It was Titanic with kamikazes and battleships.

[nacho]

Okay, okay.  It had good moments, it was fun overall.  I liked the subway scene, and the 2.3 seconds of Dafoe, and other stuff.  It was just Raimi having an overlong masturbation session, and the whole 14 hours of Hero Takes a Fall and internal struggle that got to me.  He made his choice in the first movie.  Now he makes his choice again.  Oh, and a third time.  No, a fourth and fifth time.  Okay, now he's made his choice.  And it all works out because all he had to do was make his choice.

It was a 130 minute prologue for the third movie.

[Matt]

The deal is that in the first movie he made his choice and now he's seeing the consequences of that choice. He's seeing just how hard it is to balance everything and be a superhero.

The third movie is questionable. I think some of the actors are getting franchise fatigue. Maguire will probably leave because he's a little bitch.

[RottingCorpse]

It was a 130 minute prologue for the third movie.

We in the script writing biz call that "character arc."

[Cassander]

i'm going to have to agree with nacho.  I really put off seeing spiderman 2 for a looooooong ass time because i hated the first one so much.  but all these people were guaranteeing me it was better because of Doc Ock.  


All those people are now dead.

The plot was almost the exact same as the first movie, except with fewer fight scenes.  And one of these fight scenes culminates in Spider-man saving people on a subway by digging his heels into the tracks...something that would absolutely kill him in the comic book.  He's got spider-strength...but he's no Superman.

Second, there was about a five minute span where absolutely everything that could go wrong does, just like in 500 million romantic comedies.  The whole mary jane thing was retarded throughout.  They tried to give Doc Ock some humanity and failed.

And beyond all this, they set us up to start all over again.  

Me watching ending of SPider-man 2: Oh well, at least maybe three will have Venom in it or something.  Maybe some Black Cat action. oo, wait, one more scene!

Movie: Harry...HARRY!

Me: FUCKING SHIT.  GREEN GOBLIN 2? SHIT.

[nacho]

Second, there was about a five minute span where absolutely everything that could go wrong does, just like in 500 million romantic comedies.  

It's all about the comic music montage.  Raindrops keep falling on my head...  Haha, that's so clever!  Thank you Sam Raimi.  In the special features, does the scriptwriter get executed?

I think they should have all of the bad guys, or at least three of them, in the third movie.  Because that worked for Batman, right?  If you have four huge names, you don't need to worry about these clumsy scripts...you just don't have a script!