I’ve noticed a trend in recent years where, as Christmas approaches and I try to come up with lists of things I want for my friends and family, I am reminded of Christmas gifts of past years and my complete lack of utilizing or appreciating them. This stems from two causes.
The holidays – starting with Thanksgiving – have always pitched me into depression. I’ll spend the long stretch until the new year pissed off, envious of the happier people, and generally mourning what I view to be a disastrously wasted 36 years.
What, you’re not at the dinner table being pecked to death by your family? You must not be American, then. In which case you’re a communist. So, here, watch this. This is what Thanksgiving in America is like. In fact, this is what’s happening to me right now.
Because I haven’t bothered with anything for Archive Sunday 2009, I’ll go ahead and send you to this link at Youtube. Yeah.
So we’re six chapters in. Forty thousand words, give or take. I say “we” because it is you and me. I haven’t written a novel and you’re not reading something that’s been completed and carefully wrapped in consumable pieces. It’s coming to you direct week by week. This thing doesn’t even have a title yet. […]
Oh, thank god. The holidays are over. And my Christmas dinosaur can go back to the window where it scares my neighbors. Well…nothing can scare my neighbors. Even toddlers spend the weekend in the parking lot using My Little Ponies for target practice.
Die Hard liveblog! Yep, that’s where I’m at.
My family has abandoned me, which might be a good thing, so Christmas will be spent alone with my life-size Jonathan Frakes inflatable doll.
This was first published on Dirtyfreaks.com for Halloween, 2002. The guy who designed Dirtyfreaks, instead of using an out of the box content management system, which I would do for the Greatsociety.org changover in December 02, designed his own CMS. It was a peice of shit that required the contributor to painfully put in all […]
At this time of year I always find myself singing the theme song to 80’s slasher classic Silent Night, Deadly Night. Except I don’t remember the theme at all, and can barely recall any of the films, so I just sit around alone, rocking back and forth, singing “Silent night, deadly night” tunelessly whilst staring […]