Pain Diary

Waking up from a world of pain was harder than I thought.


15 Years

15 years ago, the idea was simple. April, 2001, and we would set up a blog. We were veterans of the BBS culture, gamers, students of the internet’s childhood through the 1990s. Our blog would be called Dirty Freaks and on it we would…talk about stupid shit. Or something.


5 minute Brain Fart #2, by Monkey!

This week has been somewhat hectic with regards to foreign political climates and domestic affairs. Over the pond in Yankee Doodle land it appears that mister wig master Trump – a surname which sounds like fart – is leading the race to become a presidential candidate. In Europe, the German Chancellor is probably going to […]


Anniversary

April is our 15th Anniversary, and I’ll be posting an article each Friday about how bitter I am. In the meantime, catch up with our past Anniversary articles! The History of GS A complete listing of all the 10th Anniversary Articles. Half these people don’t speak to me anymore, and they spent most of the […]


5 minute brain farts or, ‘Saint Cunt of Cuntcutta.’ by Monkey.

Since I discovered ‘The Most Dangerous Writing App Ever’* which isn’t an app but a webpage I have been holding myself to a once-per-week exercise of writing non-stop for five minutes. http://www.themostdangerouswritingapp.com/ *Note, if you stop writing for more than a few seconds you lose all progress Here is entry #1 unedited and purposefully bombastic. […]


Down with the DST

The first time I got a job where I didn’t have to punch a fucking clock, I decided to stop observing Daylight Savings Time. This is harder than it seems, and not for the reason you think. I had to disable the option on half the clocks in the house, and I ended up using […]


Pressure

When I was a kid, I always wanted a barometer. They just seemed so romantic and exciting, you know? It was this antique looking brass dial that sea captain’s had, and all of the old people I knew who were halfway cool had a barometer in their house. People talked about the barometer all the […]


Trumped

What’s wrong you idiots? Trump is the best possible thing that could happen to this country. We need him in the White House! Think about it – everyone in Congress will unite against him. His mere presence will dissolve the two party system and we’ll move into an era of egalitarian utopia as congressmen, senators, […]


The Coach, The Cowboy, and the Monkey

I’m bored and all the news is about Trump, so I’m going to write a long post about something that doesn’t matter to anyone. But I think it’s funny!


The Ball Bra

I was thinking last night that I should try my hand at inventing, because I love Pagan Kennedy’s new book so much. If there’s one invention that the world really needs, it’s the Ball Bra.