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Children of the Sun => TV => Topic started by: nacho on November 11, 2008, 10:30:44 AM

Title: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on November 11, 2008, 10:30:44 AM
Sounds like a disease.

So I started watching classic Star Trek episodes on CBS.com at work and it got me thinking about TNG.  I remember 1987 so clearly... There was so much anticipation for the show.  Previews and teasers (that mainly used all of the effects from Wrath of Khan) and the massive buildup for the new Star Trek.

Then it hit and somehow became a runaway success.  I don't know how that worked.  Perhaps just desperation for something new in the sci-fi genre after a considerable drought.  Television sci-fi's high water mark was in the 70's, and it had been receding ever since.  87 did start a new era... But the white-washed Federation and family-orientation of the show left most people still hungry, I think.  From exploring the boundaries of known space to a ship full of families and diplomats wandering around a seemingly tamed galaxy.

But, whatever.  I've decided to marathon it.  Working through season one now:


We open up with Encounter at Farpoint, the two hour premiere that barely makes sense.  Whiny aliens kidnap a super space jellyfish and use it to make a space station.  Meanwhile, Q makes his first appearance and puts the crew on trial. 

Q is one of my favorite villains from sci-fi, but his introductory story is remarkably painful.  The character wouldn't truly evolve into something enjoyable until the third season or so.  So Encounter at Farpoint is clunky nonsense that would never succeed as a pilot today.

Next up is The Naked Now, which even the critics, at the time, condemned as a misstep. Essentially a remake of the classic episode The Naked Time, where everyone gets a virus that makes them act drunk and crazy.  So we get our comedy episode immediately, and it does nothing but make us compare the show to the original.

Code of Honor feels like a Stargate episode...but we're a few years away from the Stargate phenomenon, so I guess we have to tip our hat to TNG.  All we take away from this episode is remembering how happy we were when Tasha Yar died her senseless death later in the series because, jesus, Denise Crosby would have been fine if she were naked all the time, but don't let her act.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 11, 2008, 01:16:30 PM
Finishing up the idiotic Code of Honor episode, where the vastly more powerful Enterprise tolerates some barbarian planet kidnapping Tasha Yar because (they learn after she's kidnapped) that it's tradition for the barbarian types to show mettle by kidnapping someone from their potential enemy and then forcing the enemy to ask kindly for the person's return.  So Picard goes along with this shit.  And, of course, there's an ulterior motive on the part of the barbarians and snore.....

Meanwhile, Yar is wearing her communicator the whole time...so why wasn't she beamed up the instant she was snatched?  It's policy to panic and cry instead of trying to locate the missing crew member?

See, the classic show could get away with this shit because you had dynamic characters.  TNG, especially in the first season, is overpopulated with dull-witted, two-dimensional characters.  Riker's a big nobody, Geordie isn't yet the chief engineer, Worf is also a sideshow character, Data's whole android thing is ham-fistedly written, Troi's position as apparent number three hardly makes sense... It's like they randomly populated the script at the last minute.  "No, wait!  We need to have a chick on the bridge!  Oh!  Oh!  And a black guy!!!"
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 11, 2008, 01:41:29 PM
Haven.  Little did I know that there's an episode order debate with the first season... It was shown wildly out of sequence, as is clear from the log dates at the start of each episode.  The DVD's have put them back into chronological order.

Why'd the network fuck around with the airdates?  Because some of these episodes really suck...like Haven.  Which introduces Majel Roddenberry Barrett as Troi's precocious mother who falls for Picard.  The reaction is simple.  I just slowly twirled a corkscrew into my eyeballs.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 11, 2008, 02:29:58 PM
Where No One Has Gone Before.  The episode that introduces "The Traveler," who does nothing but fuck with the Enterprise and get really tired when he's needed to fix shit.  A recurring character for only three episodes, and ultimately responsible for Wesley Crusher's exit, which is why we're all thankful.  Wesley Crusher is the sci-fi genre's most hated character. 

The episode is slow and stupid.  The Enterprise, thrown 2 million light years away, enters into a fantasy universe where dreams come true.  Based on the discarded script for an unproduced classic series episode.  Most of the first two seasons draw from old scripts for the classic show, and the aborted "Phase II" project in the 70's.  For the second season, they had little choice.  That was during the big writer's strike, so it's an entire season of remade and discarded classic series episodes.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 11, 2008, 02:42:01 PM
God, I'm amazed this show made it past the first season.  Still women in mini-skirt uniforms, the bizarre scattering of unrealized secondary characters, fucking Wesley, a Chief Engineer of the week, 80's hair, the dental office waiting room stylings of the new Enterprise, the preachy, talky shit...
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 11, 2008, 03:09:16 PM
I love how everybody calls Wesley "The Boy" throughout the first season.

"Captain...I want to talk to you about Wesley..." says the Traveler.

Picard blinks and replies, "The boy?"

And that's been the case for the first five episodes so far.

"The Boy has taken over Engineering!"
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 11, 2008, 03:16:48 PM
The Last Outpost introduces the Ferengi, who quickly become the modern era Star Trek's favorite alien.  Though, at first, they're evil... They're more just comically troublesome by the time DS9 comes around. 

Of course, Enterprise, and its insistence on ignoring great storylines in favor or revisiting the most popular elements or Star Trek, retcons the shit out of the Ferengi backstory. 

Because we get our first new recurring alien of the new Star Trek era (except for Q), the episode is vaguely entertaining. 

 
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 11, 2008, 03:37:51 PM
I love Data's "Yankee traders" comment when describing the Ferengi.  And Riker locks on to that.  So, during the description of the Ferengi race, Riker says "Yankee traders!" four times.

"Yankee traders!  My ancestors!"

"Yankee traders?"

"Yankee traders!!"

"Yankee traders!  I like the sound of that!!!"
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: Sirharles on November 11, 2008, 05:35:46 PM
I remember when I watched this show for the first time, I was excited for every new episode.  Now when I go back I can't even sit through one episode.  In the later seasons.....maybe, but I have to be REALLY bored.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 11, 2008, 05:45:20 PM
Yeah, same here.  This shit was so huge.  But, man, it's now 100% unwatchable.

I'm programming Boble entries through the end of 2008 right now... Then back to the marathon!

I love season two, where half the cast drops out because they support the writer's strike and we get all these temporary people without introduction...and who are never heard from again.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 11, 2008, 06:27:55 PM
Lonely Among Us.  The even then well overdone story where an alien force takes over the minds of our main characters. 

Tasha Yar's dress uniform skirt confirms what we've been thinking for six episodes:  She has a gigantic ass.  Actually, all the women in TNG look fat.  Except for Crusher.  She's our redheaded goodness. 
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 11, 2008, 07:20:51 PM
Justice.  While on a routine mission to a known sector of space that has been explored for hundreds of years, the Enterprise just discovers a brand new Earth-like planet, contacts the natives, finds them to be groovy hippies, and organizes a massive shore leave even though they just discovered the planet a few hours before.

Wesley Crusher crushes a flower, which is a crime. 

This episode is a rip-off of the Rules of Luton from Space: 1999, a brutally painful Wesley episode, and considered by the fans to be the quintessential "Prime Directive" episode -- that is, a trivial law is broken and must be respected even though, again, the Enterprise wields god-like power in comparison to the baddies.

Picard wins the day by arguing that there is no justice when there are absolute laws. 
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 11, 2008, 07:27:45 PM
The Battle.  The Ferengi return.  This time with a stolen Starfleet ship -- Picard's old command.  He's made to answer for past "crimes," but all is okay in the end.  Of course.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 11, 2008, 08:54:17 PM
Hide and Q.  So we now know that the entire series was all part of the trial that started at Encounter at Farpoint, which sort of retcons Q's various episodes as either nudging the humans forward or turning the screws.

In this one, Q's second appearance is all about trying to tempt Riker into joining the Q.

This is sort of the first real Q episode.  John DeLancie seems to have gotten into stride and, without the burden of having to fill the classic show's shoes, we get to properly enjoy the character.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 12, 2008, 06:52:01 AM
Too Short a Season. The Enterprise has to pick up an ancient hostage negotiator who starts to get younger during the flight, because you really want to start fucking around with alien youth drugs when there are lives at stake and not during the long, empty days of your retirement.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: Reginald McGraw on November 12, 2008, 10:53:05 AM
Wesley Crusher is the sci-fi genre's most hated character. 

Jar-Jar Binks?
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 12, 2008, 10:57:05 AM
We had Jar-Jar for two hours.  Wesley clocked in 85 episodes.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: Sirharles on November 12, 2008, 11:03:46 AM
He was on Criminal Minds the other week.  Some pycho serial killer that lured people to this old motel and then slowly tortured couples for 48hrs till they died.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 12, 2008, 11:06:50 AM
48 hours of Wesley episodes?  Wesley developes a new warp engine.  Wesley gets caught by an angry alien.  Wesley learns to whistle...
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: Sirharles on November 12, 2008, 11:09:35 AM
Exactly...except he also rapes the wife and smashes the husbands head with a baseball bat.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 12, 2008, 11:11:24 AM
Which is roughly how I feel after only one Wesley episode!
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 12, 2008, 09:34:28 PM
The Big Goodbye.

This is it... The first of the "holodeck gone insane" shitfest episodes that would mark the modern Trek era. 

The episode won all sorts of awards and, in 1987, is actually quite original and fun.  It's the strong acting arm of the cast -- Picard, Data and Crusher -- in a 1940's mystery. 

What ruins the episode isn't the intervening 21 years since it aired, it's that Trek would overdue the shit out of the holodeck.  Arguably, it's the worst thing that happened to the franchise.

Also, is it upsetting that TNG is 21 years old?  I think so. 
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: Cassander on November 12, 2008, 10:20:00 PM
The Battle.  The Ferengi return.  This time with a stolen Starfleet ship -- Picard's old command.  He's made to answer for past "crimes," but all is okay in the end.  Of course.

why do i still remember that this ship is called the Stargazer?
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 12, 2008, 10:24:59 PM
Because you had a sad childhood.

Quick -- what was Riker's first command?
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 12, 2008, 10:33:40 PM
I like that Starfleet assigns a "fiction expert" to each ship.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: Cassander on November 12, 2008, 10:51:28 PM
I like that Starfleet assigns a "fiction expert" to each ship.

that's because it's the future and there's no money.  there simply aren't enough "real" jobs for the huge population.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 13, 2008, 10:26:06 AM
Datalore.

Introducing Data's evil twin, who would come back on occasion in idiot storylines, and eventually be used to write out the Borg...who would then be retconned in First Contact with a queen and a whole new attitude...which would then be retconned again in Voyager.

Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 13, 2008, 11:53:57 AM
Angel One.

Ripping off a Space: 1999 episode, the crew must deal with a female-dominated society in order to rescue survivors from a freighter accident.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 13, 2008, 01:17:03 PM
11001001.

This episode was painful in 1987.  Starfleet hires the computer genius "Bynars" to retrofit the Enterprise while in spacedock, and they steal the ship in order to save their race.

Meanwhile, yes, the Holodeck runs amok once again.  (In Angel One, a virus seemingly originated on the Holodeck that disabled the entire crew, though no one pointed any fingers or worried about the cause...just the very easy cure.)
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: Cassander on November 13, 2008, 01:31:00 PM
They are all holodeck enablers.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 13, 2008, 03:08:29 PM
Home Soil.

Silicone based lifeforms on a planet being terraformed by the Federation have gone insane!  Will Picard be able to save the day?
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: Reginald McGraw on November 13, 2008, 04:13:43 PM
Will Picard be able to save the day?

Hmm...I'm going to go with "Yes"!
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 13, 2008, 06:15:40 PM
When the Bough Breaks.

A mythical planet reveals itself and asks for the Federation's help.  By remaining hidden, the inhabitants are all sterile, so now they need to kidnap the Enterprise's children.  Uh... Will Picard be able to save the day?!?!  OMG!

Also, I need a drink.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 13, 2008, 09:04:28 PM
Coming of Age.

A Wesley episode.  Yay!
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 13, 2008, 10:38:17 PM
Coming of Age does introduce the "conspiracy" of parasitic aliens that had been taking over high ranking Starfleet officials.  This resulted in the controversial episode towards the end of the season where Picard and Riker blew the fuck out of the main baddie in a big, gory, not quite right for early prime time mess (the episode still can't be shown in its entirety in  the UK).

This was one of the great fuck-ups in TNG.  The parasites were meant to be the Borg.  From the start, Team Roddenberry were planning on bringing in the Borg as the main baddie for the series.  Originally, the Borg were to be mechanical insects, of which the season one parasites were advance scouts.

But then the 1988 writer's strike hit, the second season was a disaster, and the planned insectoid nature of the Borg was deemed too expensive.  So we got the American version of the Cybermen, and they were horrifically mishandled for the rest of the series.  From getting in touch with their inner humanity, to trying to end the arc with Lore taking them over, to suddenly deciding that they had a queen for the movie, and then to pulling their teeth in Voyager.  Even introducing the Borg was weird.  Instead of the planned multiple-season encroaching attack from a distant galaxy, Q is the one who introduces them in a typical throw-away episode where he takes the Enterprise far out into uncharted space.  Then the Borg mysteriously manage to cover all that distance in the third season and attack Earth.

All that was fucked in Voyager, though, because the Borg had been assimilating humans (Seven of Nine) before Q brought the Enterprise into Borg space... So the Borg knew all about Earth and Starfleet and...ugh. 

For a show that was overseen by a small cabal of untalented hacks from inception up until Enterprise crash and burned, they sure couldn't figure out how to keep anything straight.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 13, 2008, 10:58:56 PM
Heart of Glory.

The stock footage-heavy episode where fugitive Klingons try to take over the Enterprise (with the exception of Worf, it's the first appearance of Klingons in TNG). 

Star Trek VI, which dealt with the Klingons and the Federation declaring peace, was still years away (it came out during TNG's third season), so TNG sort of had to futz around as to exactly how the Klingon Empire came to be Federation allies in the first season.  Largely, this was handled by just not talking about it.  So the random renegade Klingons causing trouble was a safe storyline.  By the third season, the show had incorporated the movie's backstory on the Klingons. 
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 14, 2008, 12:48:13 PM
The Arsenal of Freedom.

Picard and crew are trapped by an antiquated defense system on a dead planet.  Very old school Star Trek!
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 14, 2008, 01:14:44 PM
The Arsenal of Freedom.

Picard and crew are trapped by an antiquated defense system on a dead planet.  Very old school Star Trek!

So, yeah, this is the first good episode of the season!  Yay!  And it only took 745 hours of agony!
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 14, 2008, 01:46:19 PM
Symbiosis.

Picard must mediate a trade dispute!  Hang on to your hats!
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 14, 2008, 04:49:34 PM
Skin of Evil.

Tasha Yar dies!  Denise Crosby gets shafted out of the series.  Thank god.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: Cassander on November 14, 2008, 06:08:14 PM
this is my new favorite thread.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 15, 2008, 09:19:19 AM
We'll Always Have Paris.

Picard meets an old flame, now married to a mad scientist.  But no real conflict, because Picard is asexual and retreats to the holodeck to drown his sorrows in imaginary wine.  Which is what the title's about, as they're at a cafe in Paris when the old flame says goodbye to him one last time.

Also, did the writer's strike start early?  I mean, really...
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 15, 2008, 10:57:17 AM
Conspiracy!

This episode was awesome the first time around, and still is this time around.  The failed intro for the Borg, and never followed up... See my post earlier in this thread (for the episode Coming of Age)for a full discussion on that.

Frustrating, because the episode ends with a cliffhanger.  The alien subspace message going off into unexplored space.  Never followed up thanks to the writer's strike and Borg reimagining.

Also frustrating because, instead of a tense season finale, it's the penultimate episode of the season.  Next episode is a retarded Space Seed ripoff, except without the threat.  Instead of rescuing Khan from a 20th century sleeper ship, they rescue a bunch of stockbrokers from a 20th century sleeper ship.  The stockbrokers spend the episode complaining about not being able to make a phone call or check the Wall Street Journal.  Fuck.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 16, 2008, 10:37:05 AM
Okay, let's finish this shit...  The Neutral Zone.

The anti-climatic finale mentioned above.  Stockbrokers from the past get testy when they aren't able to act exactly like it's the 1980's even though they're on an awesome spaceship and they have access to a machine that can make anything they want and all the girls are parading around in mini-skirts and boots and the common cold has been cured.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: Cassander on November 16, 2008, 11:08:07 AM
what was the message of that episode?  that wall street guys are twerps?
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 16, 2008, 11:09:42 AM
The finale does further the original insect-Borg storyline, though.  But we're not supposed to put that together until the second season... Which, with the writer's strike version of the Borg, means that this light-weight three episode arc in the first season makes no sense.

Also, I've been forced to drink gin straight to get through this one.

"I DEMAND TO CALL MY LAWYER, CAPTAIN PICARD!!!"
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 16, 2008, 11:12:02 AM
what was the message of that episode?  that wall street guys are twerps?

It's the typical stranger in a strange land sort of stuff.  You get the weepy girl who wants to know about the last ten generations of her family, the drug-addicted Tennessee musician, and the angry stockbroker.  They all must learn about their humanity 400 years into their future while the Federation confronts the Romulans for the first time since the original series and unravels a mystery in the neutral zone.  End with laughter and beauty, everything's fine, take lots of xanax, and prepare for the writer's strike season.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 16, 2008, 02:56:46 PM
Begin season two!

So the writer's strike sees many changes.  Gates McFadden (Dr Crusher) was fired and replaced with the unpopular Dr. Pulaski.  McFadden had been arguing with the producers about her character from the start (these arguments were never resolved, and she was constantly threatening to quit right up to the last TNG movie).  A fan letter-writing campaign convinced Rick Berman to hire her back for the third season (and Patrick Stewart played a part as well -- also threatening to quit unless they brought her back and expanded her character). 

Fucking Guinan is introduced -- Whoopi Goldberg -- as the mysterious immortal and friend of Picard. 

The vague nobody-of-the-week chief engineer is solved as Geordie finally gets his promotion.  Budget cuts abound, and the first episode is The Child, which is a script from Star Trek Phase II.  Troi has a mystery alien baby that rapidly grows up and blah blah blah...

Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 16, 2008, 10:27:24 PM
Where Silence Has Lease.

The Enterprise is trapped in a "hole in space" where a superior creature puts them all to the test and show me more of this Earth thing called kissing and father-son relationships and easy escapes and everything ends with a laugh.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 16, 2008, 11:07:11 PM
Where Silence Has Lease.

The Enterprise is trapped in a "hole in space" where a superior creature puts them all to the test and show me more of this Earth thing called kissing and father-son relationships and easy escapes and everything ends with a laugh.

Haha!  It's this episode that one of my favorite gifs comes from:

(http://www.greatsociety.org/uploads/userfiles/3/6cemxvmea7.gif)
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 17, 2008, 08:15:27 PM
Elementary, Dear Data.

The Holodeck goes insane.

The Holodeck goes insane.

The Holodeck goes insane.

The Holodeck goes insane.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 17, 2008, 08:39:08 PM
One good thing about season two is that Dr. Pulaski is one of the only characters in TNG to call Data what he is -- an android.  An emotionless computer.  The whole father-son, group of friends thing was tiring halfway through season one.  So it's real nice to have someone pretty much write him off as a glorified tin can.  She's, briefly, the only voice of reason on this show.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 17, 2008, 08:46:15 PM
Also, FYI to the Starfleet engineers:  If the computer is capable of creating self-aware, fully sentient holodeck personalities, that means the computer is also self-aware...and you should probably look into why the computer then chooses to make those self-aware creations psychotic.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 17, 2008, 09:47:35 PM
The Outrageous Okona.

Joe Piscopo gueststars as a motherfucking holodeck program designed to teach Data humor while TNG's version of Harcourt Mudd from TOS causes trouble for the rest of the crew.

I might have to watch this one on fast forward.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: Cassander on November 18, 2008, 12:58:38 AM
god i hated joe piscopo.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 18, 2008, 07:08:25 AM
I did have to skip his scenes.  I think even the Star Trek people hated him because Data even told the Holodeck to fast forward through his longest scene. 
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 18, 2008, 08:35:16 PM
The Schizoid Man.

A brilliant, but dying, scientist uploads his personality into Data.  Because Starfleet's greatest asset is always put in the line of fire.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 18, 2008, 11:34:52 PM
Loud as a Whisper.

The Enterprise must pick up a special mediator...who is empathic...and deaf.  They have to pick him up to bring him to some troubled peace negotiations and...oh, look!  I just saw something shiny in the corner of my living room and I'm going to go stare at it.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 19, 2008, 12:05:42 AM
Loud as a Whisper.

The Enterprise must pick up a special mediator...who is empathic...and deaf.  They have to pick him up to bring him to some troubled peace negotiations and...oh, look!  I just saw something shiny in the corner of my living room and I'm going to go stare at it.

Troi can hear thoughts and carry on conversations telepathically....except with this deaf guy who shares her powers.  So, you know, except for when she's actually needed.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: Cassander on November 19, 2008, 12:58:16 AM
we all know troi is just tits and a 90's hairdo.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 19, 2008, 07:35:11 AM
Man, we all sighed in relief when the 90's hairdos came in.  We're still in the 80's with season two.  I'm surprised some of the women on the crew can get into the turbolift with their spiky big hair.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 20, 2008, 08:19:06 PM
Unnatural Selection.

The Enterprise responds to a distress call and finds a ship where everyone died from a rapid aging disease, which also threatens a nearby colony.

In the teaser, we get the theme for the episode:  Picard is concerned about Dr. Pulaski's ability to perform as CMO.  So this episode is the studio laboring to make us accept the abrupt cast change.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 20, 2008, 09:05:37 PM
A Matter of Honor.

Riker is the first human to serve on a Klingon vessel in Starfleet's officer exchange program.  Comedy ensues.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 20, 2008, 09:51:38 PM
The Measure of a Man.

Data fights for his citizenship and individuality when the Federation, after letting him go through the Academy and rise to the rank of Lt. Commander and serve as science officer on their flagship decides that he's actually just a machine and, therefore, must be dismantled for no good reason.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: Cassander on November 20, 2008, 09:52:44 PM
so do you think Brent Spiner spends most of his days huffing glue or calling up an escort agency?
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 20, 2008, 09:55:58 PM
I think he spends most of his days cashing royalty checks.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: Cassander on November 20, 2008, 10:02:04 PM
yeah, but that's got to take about, what, five seconds online?  maybe he's a big e-trade guy. 
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 20, 2008, 10:04:54 PM
He's on GS under the name "monkey."
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: Cassander on November 20, 2008, 10:13:08 PM
that's Engineer o'brien.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 21, 2008, 06:48:36 AM
OMG!  It's Chief O'Brien!  You're uninvited from my Star Trek dinner party now!
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 21, 2008, 08:59:14 PM
The Dauphin.

Wesley episode!  The Enterprise hosts a beautiful, young world leader and Wesley falls in love with her.  He seeks advice on how to woe women from Riker and Worf, and Worf gets all down and dirty about Klingon mating rituals.  Which is actually disturbingly creepy because Wesley's, like, eight. 

Also, the princess is accompanied by an old lady who turns into a big furry monster at the slightest hint of a threat and freaks the fuck out for no reason.

Also, the princess is a manbearpig, too.

Notable guest appearance is a very hot pre-Twin Peaks Madchen Amick, looking well-fed for a change.  She parades around in 80's hair and makeup and a skintight suit with expertly placed holes all over the place.  I've not been tracking guest stars, but we have the usual parade of before-they-were-bigs coming through the Enterprise.  The ubiquitous Teri Hatcher was in the Joe Piscopo episode.  I think she's guest starred on every single show ever made between 1980 and 1995.  And she's always sucked.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 21, 2008, 09:10:11 PM
Contagion.

A Federation ship discovers a legendary planet and gets a computer virus that destroys it...but not before the computer virus magically jumps to the Enterprise, a Romulan warbird, and Data. 

This episode steals shit from the TOS episode City on the Edge of Forever, though without the pizazz.  The fanboys love it because it's the first instance of Picard ordering "tea, earl grey, hot" which an old suitemate at college would constantly imitate.  As in, he'd make the tea, set it down, then pretend he was Picard and say that catch-phrase before taking the first sip.  He'd do this in public, too.

Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 21, 2008, 09:24:04 PM
I'm strangely less bothered by Guinan now than I was back when these episodes were new.  The slow, and never fully revealed character arc with her is actually well done.  She's essentially a giant dues ex machina -- as powerful as the Q (maybe), and aware of them (and, apparently, some sort of mortal enemy), immortal (or just very long lived, we're eventually told that she was born sometime before the 1800s), capable of fucking with time, and familiar with the Borg.  The all-knowing, all seeing something else that is always kept at a distance in the scripts, and seems perfectly happy running a bar on the ship and dishing out obvious advice to what I now see to be a bunch of social misfits under poor Picard's command.  Of course, she becomes the spirit guide in Generations.

We see this character repeated by Roddenberry in the notes/abandoned drafts that would become Andromeda, with much more of a heavy hand.  Andromeda is probably what Roddenberry had in mind for TNG, but he was hog-tied by the franchise and his star was declining anyway.  Star Trek belonged to other people at this point, and had too much money sunk into it.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 21, 2008, 11:14:16 PM
The Royale.

The sole survivor of a NASA probe inadvertently destroyed by aliens lives out his final days in a huge simulation based off of the dime store novel "Hotel Royale."  The aliens, guilty after marooning him, figured that it was the best way to make his life bearable.

Now, hundreds of years later, the Enterprise away team stumbles across the simulation running full tilt.

This is borrowing heavily from the TOS episode A Piece of the Action, and just about a dozen silver age-era sci-fi books and shows (the classic Twilight Zone did it, Arthur C. Clark did it, etc). 


Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: Cassander on November 22, 2008, 12:19:48 AM
now you're creeping me out.  get to the Q episodes.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 22, 2008, 08:59:45 AM
Q only has one or two a season.  Though the next one, Time Squared, is meant to be a Q episode.  Picard meets his future self and nothing makes sense...because it was supposed to be a prologue for Q Who, which was delayed till later in the season and completely rewritten to introduce the cheaper, easier, season two Borg.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 22, 2008, 01:14:50 PM
So, okay, Time Squared.  The future Picard and another dead-end plotline because the writers are fucked up.

Also, the only crewmember who can stomach Riker's cooking is Worf, who's used to eating live worms.  Ha-ha!  Light-hearted sci-fi! 
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 22, 2008, 02:21:16 PM
The Icarus Factor.

The ghost of a more cohesive story arc in season two shows up here.  In the last episode, Riker talked alot about his family.  In this episode, his father comes to make amends (and offer him a command, which Riker refuses because he likes being second banana, I guess).  Meanwhile, it's time for Worf to go through some retarded and deeply personal Klingon ritual and everyone sticks their nose into his business, ultimately ending with a bizarre Holodeck sequence guest starring John Tesh that was edited for violent content outside the US.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 22, 2008, 02:29:13 PM
Okay, 14 episodes in and Dr. Pulaski has had at least two glasses of ale per episode, and has arrived at three social events with a full bottle of ale (and appears to be the only one drinking).
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: RottingCorpse on November 22, 2008, 02:35:57 PM
Space is a cold, lonely place.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 22, 2008, 02:46:42 PM
Especially when you're the doomed replacement character that the fans hate.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 22, 2008, 08:17:52 PM
Pen Pals.

So the Enterprise is the first manned expedition to a distant sector.  They're mainly just there to survey planets.

Ready?  They appoint ACTING ensign Wesley IN CHARGE of a science team.  They're just set to do a mineral survey, but the team questions his leadership because.... Oh, fucking wait, he's a fucking civilian teenager!  Jesus Christ motherfuckers!

Meanwhile, Data breaks the Prime Directive by starting up a conversation with a female child-alien of an uncontacted species who has build the subspace equivalent of a ham radio, and then learns that her planet is doomed.

Leave it to the android to fuck up the letter of the law. 
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 22, 2008, 09:10:09 PM
Q Who?

Here we go, kids.  The Borg are introduced!  Well, the re-imagined, far lower-budget, much less complicated second season Borg.  And it's up to Q to do the introducing, which wasn't the original intent of the Q arc in season two. (He was just going to test Picard with boring situations.  See Time Squared for the discarded Q arc.)  Of course, the episode ran hugely overbudget as they went ahead and pulled out all the stops anyway.

Lots of reveals.  Guinan knows of the Q, and the Borg, and the Q know of Guinan's people.  We get more of the immortal rivalry between the two in the third season, but it's never fully explained or ever revisted again... Which is a shame.

The Borg are at their strongest as the new enemy... They fuck the Enterprise over from the get-go.  Lots of great acting -- Whoopie, DeLancie, Stewart, et al. 

This episode walked away with a few Emmy Awards and still holds water all these years later.

Of course, the Borg would eventually have their teeth pulled in Voyager, but the groundwork for that was set in later seasons of TNG, with attempts to de-assimilate drones and Lore seemingly ending the Borg story-arc and, finally, the total retcon of the Borg in First Contact.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 22, 2008, 10:47:10 PM
Samaritan Snare.

So after that astounding episode with the Borg, we get an idiot episode where Geordie is kidnapped by goofball aliens and Picard is worried about his mechanical heart so he takes most of the episode off to have a surgery on a Starbase.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 23, 2008, 10:24:37 AM
Up the Long Ladder.

A distress beacon from an Earth colony lost for 200 years brings the Enterprise into contact with a stupid Irish-themed colony that has spurned technology and a second colony that is harvesting DNA from anyone and everyone, without their permission, to make clones.

This is the episode that Ronald Moore called "the most embarrassing moment" in TNG.

Guest star of note is Rosalyn Landor, who plays the impossibly sexy Brenna O'Dell and has a great seduction scene with Riker where she's showing off everything she's got.  So I disagree with RDM, because I like watching her pretend to be Irish.

But, yes, it is embarrassing.  This episode makes you wonder why Colm Meaney renewed his contract.

Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 23, 2008, 12:42:46 PM
Manhunt.

Troi's mom returns with the hope of seducing Picard for her new husband.  Oh my god!  Please break into my apartment and shoot me in the back of my head.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 23, 2008, 08:36:35 PM
The Emissary.

Okay, some consolation after suffering through three terrible episodes... The Enterprise finds a Klingon sleeper ship from before the Klingons made nice with the Federation, so they have to assimilate the poor bastards.  The half-human Klingon sent to ease them into the 24th century also happens to be Worf's former lover and...snore....

Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 23, 2008, 09:25:00 PM
Peak Performance.

War games!  Worried about the coming Borg threat, the Federation decides to have some war games.  So they put Riker in charge of an 80 year old ship and pit it against the brand new top of the line flagship Enterprise... Because that makes sense.  The Ferengi arrive and start to fuck shit up.  The Ferengi are still, pretty much, bad guys.  The comical ear-sex, Rules of Acquisition quoting, Jewish stereotype bullshit hasn't come in yet.

Season two sort of fizzles out, thanks to the writer's strike.  It's four episodes shorter than the other seasons and this is, effectively, the finale.  The next and last episode is just a clip show.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 23, 2008, 10:15:31 PM
Shades of Gray.

Clip show.  Riker is poisoned and is in sick bay reliving his experiences on the Enterprise.  All things considered, I'm surprised season two didn't have a ton of these sort of episodes.

This one is almost unwatchable.  The linking material was all filmed in a couple of days, and there's no real script or even attempt at acting.  It's actually quite weird... The season was shortened anyway.  Why not just end it with the last episode?  Jesus...

End season two!
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 23, 2008, 10:44:40 PM
Okay, well, I'm waiting for Survivors to finish downloading, but don't have the will to start season three yet.

Season three begins with a whimper, trails into hideous hamfisted comedy, and ends with a bang.

It's the season where the first TOS character (besides McCoy in the pilot episode) makes an appearance -- an ailing Sarek.  It's the season where the Ferengi make the inexplicable shift from somewhat dangerous enemy to lovable Jews.  The Romulan subplot is stepped up quite a bit, building them into the franchise's big bad (DS9 later pulls their teeth). 

Dr Crusher returns and, despite McFaddon's bellyaching, her character hasn't advanced at all (and never will). 

High points (besides the Borg cliffhanger): Deja Q, the only other episode to explore the Q-Guinan relationship.  Yesterday's Enterprise, the by-now well overdone time travel plotline that is the first of Denise Crosby's recurring guest roles. 

There are lots of Data episodes in season three.  The show kind of gets into a groove... The growth of Data as a human, Worf's acceptance of his childhood, and the patterns emerge.  We can now bet on episodes where Troi's mom gets into something stupid, and Q's stories go downhill from here.  The Borg do, as well.  Basically, after season three, every single bad guy begins the long, slow ride to becoming goofy comic relief.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: Cassander on November 24, 2008, 12:54:54 AM
so, remind me again why everyone wanted to fuck picard and riker just gets shadowboxing with troi? 
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 24, 2008, 11:11:40 AM
Actually, the other way around.  Picard was almost asexual, except for archeology girl and the occasional brainy alien.  There are scenes throughout where, despite Riker and Troi saying repeatedly that they are together, Riker is chatting up every female crew member.  With season two, whenever a scene has Riker join someone in Guinan's bar (if he's already there), he's usually there buying drinks and talking close to a pretty ensign. 

And if there's a glamor girl, he gets to make out with them Kirk-style.  Happens five times in season two alone.

Troi also falls deeply in love with other people at least twice a season.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 24, 2008, 08:29:38 PM
Evolution.

Begin season three!

We're back in the saddle.  Writers and money and a whole new outlook. Updated uniforms, and a brand new title sequence. What's the big first episode?  Something amazing, right?

Nope.  Wesley creates nanites for his science experiment...and they escape and fuck up the dreams of an obsessive astronomer trying to view a once in a lifetime event.

Dr. Crusher is back...with no explanation.  Pulaski just vanished, I guess. (Crusher does mention her absence in passing.)
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 25, 2008, 10:58:46 PM
The Ensigns of Command.

A wayward colony ship illegally set up base on a planet riddled with lethal super sci fi radiation, but the colony somehow survived...and didn't bother reporting in.

Now, according to a 500,000 word treaty (yes, Picard sits and reads the entire treaty to us...or, rather, it feels that way) a monstrous race that hates people decide to colonize the planet and are all like, WTF, there's a human colony on the planet that's deadly to humans.  You have four days to remove them.

Transporters don't work, and the planet is poisonous, so only Data can shuttle down and try to convince the 15,000 fuckos to leave and then...oh, look!  A shiny object on my desk that I can stare at!
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: Reginald McGraw on November 26, 2008, 09:19:56 AM
Okay, that actually sounds interesting...

What was the resolution?
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 26, 2008, 09:44:13 AM
Okay, that actually sounds interesting...

What was the resolution?

Data learns to act dramatically in an attempt to convince them and fails.  So then he stuns a bunch of people with a phaser and puts on a light show to demonstrate how technologically advanced the oncoming aliens are and everyone agrees.

Meanwhile, Picard plays a cat and mouse game with the scary aliens, as each side quotes parts of the byzantine treaty, and Picard (who is wholly unfamiliar with the 500,000 word treaty) manages to pick out a paragraph that traps the aliens (who have the treaty memorized) into extending the deadline to allow for a Federation colony ship to come pick everyone up.

End with a father-son moment between Picard and Data.  All is okay.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: Reginald McGraw on November 26, 2008, 10:01:10 AM
How do the people survive in the radiation though?!??  I've got so many questions!
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 26, 2008, 10:12:17 AM
It's never really explained.  Most of the colonists died, but they figured out a way to survive the radiation through science! (Or, as Troi says, "They adapted.")  And now, 100 years later, they are a testament to the strength of the human race, etc etc. 

Nor is it discussed how the colony ship will deal with 15,000 highly irradiated people, or where they can safely live with the same conditions because, presumably, they'll need to live in the same environment they've adapted to over the last century...?
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: Reginald McGraw on November 26, 2008, 10:16:39 AM
Hmm...that sucks!
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 26, 2008, 10:20:14 AM
All I know is that it wasn't a Wesley episode.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 26, 2008, 10:48:19 PM
The Survivors.

The Enterprise finds two elderly survivors on an otherwise obliterated colony world.  Turns out that it's just an immortal energy being who posed as a human in the colony because he liked people, then the colony was attacked and destroyed and he created a dreamworld with a dream wife and they were growing old and happy.  But Picard has to go jam in the knife, then say, oh, sorry, well, nevermind.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 26, 2008, 10:50:59 PM
Oh, and Troi gets a new outfit.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 26, 2008, 11:22:13 PM
Who Watches the Watchers.

Bronze Age natives discover a Federation observation post and, ultimately, believe Picard to be a god.  Picard must then convince them of his mortality, mainly by beaming the primitive to the Enterprise where she witnesses a death in sick bay.  Uh...?

The great Ray Wise guest stars, not yet having freaked us out as Leland Palmer.  Also, Dr. Pulaski is mentioned.  A feeble attempt to explain why she's gone and Crusher stepped down from a seemingly superior position to resume her position. 
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: Cassander on November 28, 2008, 08:28:52 PM
what's the one where they have to lead all these refugees out of some godforsaken zone and, i think, they end up putting them in a launching bay?
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 28, 2008, 08:56:53 PM
You might have to be more specific, because they use that storyline 2 or 3 times a season.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: Cassander on November 29, 2008, 02:30:50 AM
and how the fuck do you transition from being a no-name federation ship's doctor to helming a vessel?  i never got over that one.  captain crusher made less sense than captain sulu.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on November 29, 2008, 01:04:10 PM
That was Q's alternate timeline.  It never happened.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 05, 2008, 08:29:00 PM
Jesus fuck...where was I?  Okay!  The Bonding.

So an away team on an archeological mission has an accident and a redshirt dies.  Because the Enterprise is now a cruise ship, her young son is on board. 

Worf led the away team, so he blames himself and tries to connect with the orphan boy.  Yawn. 

Meanwhile, a race of energy beings living on the planet feel guilty and also try to help the boy...by posing as his dead mother and attempting to abduct him. 

Fucking Wesley delivers the moral of the story -- humans must learn to deal with loss instead of getting EVERYTHING THEY WANT from magical immortal energy beings, including fully interactive and wholly convincing constructs of their dead parents.  Uh...Thanks Wesley.  So shun joy and embrace despair?

This is Ronald Moore's first official episode.  He submitted the teleplay early in the second season and it was trashed for almost a year when, desperate, they sifted through the slush pile and pulled out this clunker.   Much of RDM's script was altered by Gene Roddenberry who had very specific and crazy ideas on how children of the 24th Century would deal with death.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 05, 2008, 10:31:35 PM
Booby Trap.

The Enterprise finds an ancient battleship that is booby-trapped and drains their power, leaving them stranded.

This is a Geordie episode.  In order to save the day, he creates a holodeck program with the personality of the engineer who built the Enterprise's engines...and he falls in love with her.  And I just put a red hot poker into my eye.

Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 06, 2008, 02:37:49 PM
The Enemy.

Yet another Geordie episode.  And a direct ripoff of Enemy Mine.  He's trapped on an inhospitable planet with a Romulan and they must work together to survive, etc. etc.

Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 07, 2008, 03:08:11 AM
The Price.

So even though Troi and Riker are an item, and always say as much, they keep falling in love with other people.  This is one of those episodes... Troi falls in love with a negotiator who is trying to secure rights to a wormhole.  But he's really using dirty tricks to win the vote.  And the wormhole doesn't work anyway.

Also a Ferengi episode.  Two of them are trapped in the Gamma Quadrant when the wormhole fizzles out, and they got their own story arc much later in Voyager, where they had spent the intervening years posing as gods. 

Most importantly, this episode features Crusher and Troi in disgusting 80's leotards doing gymnastics, and they're both paunchy and icky.  Even though Troi has set her replicator to refuse to serve her anything that isn't nutritional.  Troi should also set her replicator so it doesn't argue with her when she tries to override her own settings.  I swear, this show is like Red Dwarf sometimes.  I toast therefore I am!

Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 07, 2008, 10:50:16 AM
The Vengeance Factor.

The last episode aired in the 1980's, which is psychologically important because I'm hoping the female crewmembers will start getting better hairstyles.

There's some silly shit going on with some stupid aliens, and it can only be solved by tense peace negotiations, and Riker uncovers a plot to assassinate the delegates.  We get two negotiation episodes in a row!  One is a silly Troi story, and the other is a rough and tumble Riker story.  And he's coming on strong to the scullery maid within the first 10 minutes. 
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 07, 2008, 02:09:34 PM
The Defector.

A Romulan defects to the Fedration in the hopes of averting a planned secret invasion. 

This is a recycled script from Phase II (where it was Klingons instead of Romulans), but the Romulans are always welcome because, unlike all the other baddies, and despite a brief alliance in DS9 against the Dominion, the Romulans have always remained bad guys.  They saw out the TNG movies and are the bad guys behind the reboot 2009 movie.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: Cassander on December 07, 2008, 03:41:10 PM
what's so bad about them again?  aren't they basically the Vulcans' evil twins?
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 07, 2008, 03:45:48 PM
Yeah...Romulans are from the same stock as Vulcans, but they haven't mastered their emotions.  Vulcans used to be violent and warlike as well, in their distant past.

We learn in DS9 that all the species in the galaxy were seeded by an ancient, long-dead race, in their image, which is why you get Vulcans and Romulans developing separately,  and so many human-like creatures.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 07, 2008, 07:34:19 PM
The Hunted.

A genetically altered super soldier fights for his rights after years of post-war mistreatment and yawn, yawn, yawn.

But!  It guest stars James Cromwell, so that's awesome. 
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 07, 2008, 07:45:36 PM
I want Chief O'Brien's job (pre-DS9).  Apparently he just stands around in the transporter room all day playing solitaire or something.

Though, knowing Starfleet, they probably have his console firewalled.  So he has no option but to spend his enormous amount of free time transporting angry tribbles into people's showers.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 07, 2008, 08:31:24 PM
The High Ground.

Dr. Crusher is taken hostage, which is TNG standard plotline #73, and the terrorists hope that they can use her to convince the Federation to intervene in their war.  Though the Federation is the last government I would want on my side in a war.  "We've brought a fleet of ships to talk the enemy to death!  Mr. Worf!  Arm the pedantometer!"

Quote
Ronald D. Moore described the episode as "an abomination. It's our one terrorist show. We didn't have anything interesting to say about terrorism except that it's bad and Beverly gets kidnapped - ho hum. They take her down to the caves and we get to have nice, big preachy speeches about terrorism and freedom, fighting and security forces versus society. It's a very unsatisfying episode

Worse than that, this episode manages to embrace terrorism as just.  The episode is still banned in the UK and Ireland because it discusses how, in the fictional past of the Star Trek universe, Ireland was successfully reunited through terrorism.

Good job, assholes.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 07, 2008, 09:36:42 PM
Déjà Q.

That's right, bitches.  Deja fucking Q.  This is, along with Tapestry and All Good Things..., one of the three best Q episodes.

Q loses his powers and is exiled as a mortal human...on the Enterprise.  This is all a scam, we now know in hindsight, but at the time it was a huge episode.  Q was the TNG favorite...and I remember this episode because it made the cover, and got a big feature, on that week's TV guide.  I probably still have that TV guide somewhere, because I'm a loser.

We get that Q vs. Guinan shit again (the second and last time Guinan's past with the Q is discussed), John DeLancie is awesome and hilarious as a human Q, Corbin Bernsen guest stars as Q2, and this is the first time Data's struggle to become human really reaches any depth (with a lovely epilogue provided by Q -- a moment of true laughter). 

Of the entire series, only a few episode stand out.  This is one of them.

19 years later, it's still a great episode.  Totally watchable and enjoyable.

Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: Cassander on December 07, 2008, 09:58:17 PM
is all the good things the one where he takes them to Q land and everything's been done?  i'm thinking specifically of the shot where one person is reading a giant tome named "old" and someone else is reading a magazine titled "new."  that is kind of a good episode. 

also, how much better would TNG be if it was just the enterprise versus Q in every episode?  also, how long are you going to do this?  you're going to kill yourself.  especially in the last two seasons.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 07, 2008, 10:13:57 PM
All Good Things is the finale. It's when Q takes him through three separate realities, ultimately revealing that everything that happened after Encounter at Farpoint (the pilot episode) was part of the test of Humanity.

The Q-land shit you're thinking is from the Voyager years...where Q is horribly ruined.  We get baby Q's, and the Q Civil War during Voyager. 

I would love a series that's just Q.  I love John De Lancie.

How long am I going to do this?  Till it's over!  Then I'm going to do Voyager.  Then I'm going to rape and kill a girl scout.

 
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 07, 2008, 10:37:29 PM
So, anyway, best TNG episodes, in order:

Deja Q Q as a human.
Best of Both Worlds The Borg attack Earth.
Final Mission Which rips off, almost line for line, and old Buck Rogers episode...but it's really nice to have it done without Gil Gerard and 70's writing
Data's Day sort of the quintessential goodnik TNG episode
Redemption the Klingon Civil War which means Worf gets to do more than say "Yes, sir, I love white people."
Disaster Picard trapped in a turbolift with three kids is hilarious, because Picard (and, I think, Patrick Stewart) truly hates children
Time's Arrow the 1890's episode, which is Guinan's last interesting moment
Relics the Scotty episode
Chain of Command the Romulan episode that sets up the TNG movie Nemesis.  Which sucked.
Tapestry Picard dies and Q is god!  Yay!
Descent initially the end of the Borg, with Lore acting as their "queen"
All Good Things... Fin...?
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 07, 2008, 10:48:45 PM
By the way, I should add that I haven't watch these episodes since they first aired.  I watched Best of Both Worlds again in 1999, but that's it.  And, still, Deja Q is some of the best TV there's been. 

But, that's tempered by 150 terrible episodes.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 07, 2008, 11:00:02 PM
I wish I was in charge of things.  Guinan's knowledge of the Q and the inner workings of the Continuum, and Q's overall fear of her (her people actually defeated the Q in the past), is just such wonderful sci-fi.  You're dying to know more.

But...you don't get any more after this episode.  Q becomes comical, Guinan becomes Whoopie Goldberg, and any sense of depth is forever lost.  Shame, because here's this friendly alien from a race that defeated, you know, God.  And DeLancie is just such a gifted actor.  A total waste of talent and storyline.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 07, 2008, 11:28:45 PM
A Matter of Perspective.

Riker is accused of murder.  Typical Rashomon episode, with various accounts replayed on the Holodeck.  Every series of Star Trek has done this, from TOS onwards.

Also, I like vodka.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: Cassander on December 08, 2008, 12:17:36 AM
i think deLancie would've made a great TV cop.  also, while guinan is always kind of interesting, i never figured out, even as a kid, why whoppi was cast in the role.  was it cause she loved trek and was dying to get cast (ala samuel l jackson in star wars) or was she just at that kind of a crossroads in her career?  i remember, looking back, that TNG created more of a media maelstrom than it should have.  was it all hoopla and stars got sucked into it like a (pun alert) black hole? 
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 08, 2008, 06:53:39 AM
Yeah, Whoopie was a big Trek fan and Roddenberry liked her.  So Guinan was just uber-cameo. 

The TNG hoopla was not only because it was new Trek launched in the middle of the high point for the films, but also the high budget.  They pulled out all the stops, and were also launching in the middle of a TV sci-fi drought.  So the focus wasn't lost with half a dozen other sci fi shows stealing storylines, or trouncing the crap, as would happen in the 90's (and now). 

Phase II, though failed, got lots of press as well.  The franchise was adored in the 80's  The franchise was adored up until recently, really.  It took till Enterprise before Star Trek's unchanging 60's attitude stroked out. 
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 08, 2008, 08:44:12 PM
I don't know how RDM managed to hone his writing talents.  In 1990 he has lines like:

"This event is happening every five hours and 23 minutes."

"Then we may be able to predict the next event!"

And today he's putting together BSG.  Talk about polar opposites. 
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 08, 2008, 10:04:04 PM
Yesterday's Enterprise.

Denise Crosby returns as Tasha Yar.  The first of her many guest roles (she plays Tasha's sister, and a Romulan clone using Tasha's DNA, blah blah).  In this case, she appears because the Enterprise-C has fallen into a time rift, showing up in the present day and changing the timeline so that the Federation and the Klingons were at war.  Typical time travel, parallel timeline stuff, fun for the warlike alternate reality, and the moral dilemma involved in sending the C back into the past to die the noble death.

This episode snagged an Emmy.  It doesn't deserve it, but it is a good episode compared to most.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 11, 2008, 10:45:26 AM
The Offspring.

Data has a baby!

Well, he creates a female android.  Even though we had the big long courtroom episode last season, or when the fuck ever that was, proving that Data was due all the rights of a Federation citizen, he is once again fighting the higher-ups on that same point.  This time, they want Lal (his daughter) for study.  Which might not be a bad thing because, inexplicably, Lal starts experiencing emotions...which results in a massive failure that kills her.  Yay!  Oh...I mean, it's sad.

This is the first episode directed by Riker. 

Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 11, 2008, 11:20:19 AM
Oh, also, Riker comes on to Data's daughter.  But Riker sleeps with anything.  Alien, hologram, android.  Doesn't matter.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 11, 2008, 11:46:01 AM
Sins of the Father.

This episode walked away with an Emmy.  It finally ties Worf to the Klingons, and sets up the Klingon subplot that would recur throughout the show and, to a lesser degree, in DS9.  (A Klingon Civil War looms in future seasons.) Even Enterprise got into the act, retconning the hell out of this story arc with the Klingons who started all of the trouble that Worf strives to undo.

Of all the subplots, the Klingon Civil War (and events leading up to it, and the aftermath) are some of the most enjoyable.  It gives the Klingons a chance to be baddies again, and they're alot more fun than the cold Romulans whose victory always seems to be thwarted by the sci-fi equivalent of a banana peel on the sidewalk.

Also, everybody loves Worf.

This is an RDM episode, so we're finally seeing some quality from his writing.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 11, 2008, 02:43:53 PM
Allegiance.

Picard and three other crewmembers are kidnapped and replaced with dopplegangers in an episode that's better than sleeping pills.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 11, 2008, 11:32:55 PM
Captain's Holiday.

Vash is introduced.  She's really hot, and we get to meet her a few times in TNG and, again, in DS9. 

Picard goes on vacation and gets caught up in a madcap adventure with hottie Vash.

Oh, and this is a comical Ferengi episode.  They're a joke now, as they will be forevermore in the franchise. 
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 12, 2008, 09:21:08 PM
Tin Man.

The Enterprise races to woo a powerful alien in a first contact situation before the Romulans get to it.

Something of a rip off of The Motion Picture.  The telepathic negotiator assigned to contact the alien -- "Tin Man" -- ends up staying with it to learn from it and blah blah blah.

It's really just a cleverly disguised Troi episode. 

The negotiator is played by Mayor Wilkins from the third season of Buffy.  Even here pre-Buffy, when he's young and thin, I can't get that role out of my head.  So, of course, the whole episode is hilarious.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 12, 2008, 10:15:13 PM
Hollow Pursuits.

Barclay is introduced.  The great Dwight Schultz playing a variation of Murdoch in the first of his recurring roles (across TNG, DS9, and Voyager). 

It's also the first real pure comedy episode since The Naked Now.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 14, 2008, 01:19:02 PM
The Most Toys.

In what is, pretty much, a direct rip-off of a Space: 1999 episode, we get an intergalactic collector who wants to add Data to his collection.  Snore.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 14, 2008, 05:26:28 PM
Sarek.

The great Mark Lenard reprises his role from TOS and the movies.  Sarek, Spock's dad, is hosted on the Enterprise.  But his extreme age is taking its toll.  He's got some rare disease that makes the crew go crazy, and he and Picard have to have Vulcan sex to cure him.

Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 15, 2008, 08:00:30 AM
Ménage à Troi.

Oh Christ...it's this shitty episode.  I had thought it was later in the series.  I had hoped.

Anyway, taking it to work, because I can't bear to watch it unless I'm getting paid to.

A Ferengi captures Riker, Troi, and Troi's mom.  This is the episode where the Ferengi finally become the laughingstock Jewish-stereotype villains.  I was tempted to skip it but I figured, hey, it'll kill an hour and a half or so today.  Either that or play solitaire.

Actually, I'll probably do both.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 15, 2008, 11:21:06 AM
So Picard and Wesley are talking, and Picard says:

"The results are back, you passed the Starfleet Academy exams."  Then, knowingly, he straightens his top and says, "Now...if you can pass the oral exam..."

That got my attention!  Not again, Captain Picard! 

Sshhh, sshhh... Up and down.  Try to take it all.  Oh...yes, young Wesley.  Don't...tell...Beverleeee---AAHH!
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 15, 2008, 01:04:58 PM
Transfigurations.

The Enterprise rescues a mysterious alien who is evolving into a new life form.  He spends months on the ship recuperating from a major accident, his memory erased, and we get plenty of retarded side plots.  Another snore-fest.  But... We're almost done.  Up next is the Big Mama episode -- The Best of Both Worlds.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 15, 2008, 10:50:48 PM
Best of Both Worlds part I.


Season three ends with a cliffhanger episode that cemented the show with the fans and the critics.  It took this long for the show to no longer be compared to the original series. 

The Borg come to Earth.  Along the way, they kidnap Picard, turn him into a Borg, make him their leader, and nearly wipe out Starfleet's military power (a setback that would shape the rest of the series and DS9). 

The episode ends with the shocker Borg-Picard (now calling himself Locutus) appearing on the screen, and the situation hopeless for humanity.  (This is the first time the Borg assimilate someone on screen, use their catchphrase -- "resistance is futile" -- and, allegedly, was written into the script as a way for Patrick Stewart to leave the show, which was a decision he had been mulling over for most of the third season.)

Cliffhangers of this sort have now become a sci-fi staple but, at the time, you didn't see them too often.  Doctor Who and all the Silver Age sci-fi did the serial stuff, but the hour shows – Logan's Run, Planet of the Apes, Space:1999, etc – all consisted of self-contained episodes, or two-parters within the season.  The tradition of ending with a blow and making us wait for three or four months till the next season starts here, and continues through just about every sci-fi show since.   

Even though many elements of Best of Both Worlds was retconned in First Contact, which is something of a continuation of this episode, it still manages to hold water despite the age and schlock of TNG.

And... End season three!
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 16, 2008, 07:19:26 AM
Best of Both Worlds.  Part two!

A generation of sci-fi fans spent the entire summer freaking out.  Picard's a Borg!  Riker's about to kill him!  The Earth under attack!

The Borg decimate the Federation and the Klingon Armada at Wolf 359 -- the battle that shapes the rest of the franchise, helping lead into the Klingon Civil War and making the Federation a far weaker creature for the DS9 years.

Lots of folks didn't expect to come back to the show for a fourth season.  Stewart was on the verge of being written out and, behind the scenes, Michael Piller had planned on leaving as well.  But everybody was drawn back in, and they won two Emmys for this episode.

Sadly, the Borg are never the same after this episode.  They become just another group in the quadrant, we get that idiotic episode where they try and make one human, and we get the weird "end" of the Borg storyline where Lore becomes their ruler.  All the Borg episodes here on out are so stupid that First Contact actually includes lines that seem to suggest those stories didn't happen.

Really, in the end, it's sad.  Roddenberry's dream of some impossibly powerful distant enemy creating a cohesive inter-episode storyline for the series and forcing the disparate groups to join together was lost with the writer's strike, and then horridly bastardized. 

So we kick off season four, and there's nothing left to prove.  The show starts to get legs.  After the big freakout with the Borg, we get an episode dealing with the repercussions, then Lore returns, and we get a slew of pretty good episodes.  A few setting up the Klingon Civil War, which is how this season ends.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 18, 2008, 11:44:01 AM
Family.

While recovering from the Borg assimilation, Picard heads to his home in France to deal with family issues while, back on the Enterprise, Worf's all-too-human adoptive parents visit.

The Enterprise itself is still fucked up from the battle... It's nice to have some continuity like this, instead of everything back to normal.  It's also a surprising wise move on the part of the writers to turn Best of Both Worlds into an unofficial trilogy, given how dire everything was in the two-parter. 

We get family stuff for everyone, really.  The Crushers have some shit to deal with, and Chief O'Brien gets a full name for the first time.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 18, 2008, 12:53:10 PM
Wow... Picard's cathartic breakdown as he relates being fully aware while, as Locutus, he led the Borg attack that killed 11,000 Starfleet personnel and destroyed 39 ships is still quite poignant.

Of course, regardless of the subject matter, we're dealing with a Shakespearean actor here.  Always shines through.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 18, 2008, 01:55:34 PM
Brothers.

Well, in keeping with the theme, this is a family episode for Data.  Lore has survived, Data soon learns when summoned by his previously missing creator for an upgrade.  The upgrade process, by the way, involves Data commandeering the Enterprise, nearly murdering the entire bridge crew, and putting a thousand lives in jeopardy. 

The emotion chip makes its first appearance here, but isn't ever really used till Generations (though Lore is in possession of it for a few seasons).
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 18, 2008, 03:07:32 PM
Suddenly Human.

Okay!  Stop with the family episodes!  Wow.

In this one, aliens raise a boy after accidentally killing his parents.  Picard rescues the boy and decides that he must rediscover his Humanity and blah fucking blah.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: Nubbins on December 18, 2008, 03:19:29 PM
hahaha and I thought my baseball thread was bad
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 18, 2008, 03:23:20 PM
I'll be committing suicide live via webcam during my Voyager marathon.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: Nubbins on December 18, 2008, 04:01:40 PM
nono...  Don't do that.  Just make sure you only post in these types of threads when you're 8 sheets to the wind. 
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 18, 2008, 04:06:59 PM
I LOVE YOU WILL RIKER!
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 18, 2008, 06:31:13 PM
Remember Me.

Star Trek storyline 378 stroke B:  Some techno-gibberish problem causes people to disappear, and only Dr. Crusher is aware of what's going on.  One by one people vanish until Crusher is alone.

Fucking Wesley causes the "warp bubble" and it takes the return of the Traveler to set things right.

So, let's review:  Cadet Wesley has full access to experiment with the warp core of the Federation flagship to the point where he destroys the universe.  Got it.  Thanks.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 18, 2008, 08:42:30 PM
Legacy.

Tasha Yar's sister comes to the Enterprise for a hostage negotiation, but her real mission is to try to restore order to the lawless colony world she comes from and...something something.  All I know is this:

(http://www.greatsociety.org/uploads/userfiles/3/ST-TNG_Legacy.jpg)

Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 18, 2008, 09:09:32 PM
Anyway, just so you know it's not only me involved in this show, I started a bit of a war at work today.  Some of the female staff think Riker is a sexy beast, but others on the female staff say Picard's the way to go.  Two of them got in a bit of an argument. 

I'm having a hard time myself because, secretly, I think I'm a Guinan man.  But I can never admit that.

Also, Nubbins, I've had a bottle of wine.  TNG is much more awesome now!

SET PHASERS ON MAXIMUM STUN!
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 18, 2008, 10:25:02 PM
Reunion.

Worf's half-Klingon girlfriend returns...and dies.

This episode pushes forward the Klingon Civil War, which is awesome.  So despite the fact that Worf's son (which he didn't know about) is also introduced (please, kill me), it's a good episode.  Largely because everyone fucking dies.  The Klingon high command is pretty much wiped out, and the first volley of the civil war begins. 

And the show cares so much about this that they design the first new Klingon battleships since The Motion Picture.  So we've gone a decade in movies and in TNG with stock footage up until this episode.

RDM writing and Frakes directing, which is, pretty much, the thing to watch for from now on out.  That means the episode will be tolerable and, perhaps, enjoyable.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 19, 2008, 09:49:37 AM
Future Imperfect.

Riker wakes up from a coma 16 years in the future.  But it's just a simulation, and we get the tiresome waking up into another simulation false ending before, finally, we learn that it's just some lonely boy looking for friends who has access to the most advanced holographic equipment.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 19, 2008, 03:00:03 PM
Final Mission.

Yay!  It's Wesley's last episode!  And it's a good episode.  Wesley, Picard, and some dork are trapped on a desert planet after their shuttle crashes.  I've always enjoyed this episode, and it still holds up.  Having Wesley leave the cast is just icing.

Weird that the most hated character leaves on a high note.  (He does come back for some guest spots in later seasons, all terrible episodes.) 
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: Nubbins on December 19, 2008, 03:10:52 PM

(http://www.greatsociety.org/uploads/userfiles/3/ST-TNG_Legacy.jpg)

holy lord.  my teleporter just went off.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 19, 2008, 03:17:11 PM
Later in that scene she bends over and gives us some cleavage, and that jumpsuit is all camel toe all the time.  Plus there are tons of sneaking around ass shots.

Her other outfit is nothing but a pokey perky nipple machine.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: Nubbins on December 19, 2008, 03:18:52 PM
Who is that?  She looks really familiar.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 19, 2008, 03:21:13 PM
She's one of those character actor types who's done everything:

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0869728/
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: Nubbins on December 19, 2008, 03:23:49 PM
hahaha holy shit.  Looks like she's married to Claire's dad!
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 19, 2008, 03:25:52 PM
Oh!  Look at that.  Funny.  I wonder if she has a little annoying poodle and the incapacity to comprehend evil?
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 19, 2008, 04:21:55 PM
The Loss.

Oh fuck...it's a Troi episode.  In this one she loses her powers and cries about it.  And a stupid alien entity is pulling the ship off course.  She resigns and is all sad and stuff and then they break free of the stupid aliens and her powers are restored and she instantly fucking returns to service and then I throw up blood and run screaming into the path of a bus and then the episode ends.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: Nubbins on December 19, 2008, 11:12:54 PM
(http://jj.am/gallery/d/6770-2/PicardDatalols.gif)
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 20, 2008, 07:18:51 AM
Data's Day.

Here it is.  The rather sweet and surprisingly well done episode where Data just records a day in his life.  RDM wanted to do a straight-up, absolutely ordinary day with nothing of consequence happening outside of everyone's routine and how they interact with Data. The wicked Rick Berman, though, insisted that there be at least one through-line, so there's this idiotic sub-plot involving a Vulcan ambassador.  Kind of scars an otherwise perfect little script.   

This is a big O'Brien story as well -- we get his wedding and all of that.  And there's a big dance routine with Crusher...which is always a secret thrill.  Before her not-really-acting career, she was a big choreographer.  Most notably in Labyrinth, where you get to see her younger and in leotards in all the special features teaching people in puppet costumes to dance.

Though the fourth season does mark the shift where Crusher starts to get sexy again.  Troi isn't really sexy until towards the end, when she stopped wearing ridiculous uniforms and hair extensions.


Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 22, 2008, 07:07:35 AM
The Wounded.

PTSD episode!  A rogue Captain is trying to start another war with the Cardassians, seemingly as vengeance for the last war not really being fulfilling enough.  Though thr Cardassians are untrustworthy, warlike, and...the new enemy.  This is their debut episode, though more to set up DS9, I think, than have a new baddie in the TNG universe.   
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 22, 2008, 10:56:24 AM
Devil's Due.

A thousand years ago, a planet made a pact with a super advanced creature in order to save themselves from destruction.  The terms were that, in a thousand years, that creature would return and the planet would be hers. 

Picard thinks it's a scam (it is) and gets involved, ultimately exposing the seemingly god-like creature.

This is the first appearance of a "Phase II" recycled script in quite a while.  I think somewhere in the third season was the last one.  As a consequence, after working so hard to break out from under the shadow of the original series, we suddenly get this outdated 70's-era episode, with Picard somewhat awkwardly filling a role written with Kirk in mind.

Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 22, 2008, 01:53:55 PM
Clues.

The crew is knocked out.  When they wake up, they appear to have lost 30 seconds, according to Data.  However little clues indicate that they've been out of it for much longer, and Data begins behaving oddly.

Turns out that they encountered some crazy alien race and, to save themselves, had their memories wiped of the whole encounter (except for Data).  So they piece everything together, the aliens get mad again, and they have to have their memories wiped again.  Too bad they didn't go for the comic episode and have that happen a dozen times.  Or incorporate this into Data's Day.  Just him repeatedly wiping people's memories and forgetting to turn the calendar back each time. 
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 22, 2008, 03:51:06 PM
First Contact.

Riker is wounded while under cover in a xenophobic society on the verge of inventing warp travel.  Once they get warp, then it's okay to make first contact, which Picard sets out to do while Riker is AWOL in the hospital freaking people out.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: Nubbins on December 22, 2008, 04:17:34 PM
(http://jj.am/gallery/d/6770-2/PicardDatalols.gif)
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 24, 2008, 12:23:03 PM
Galaxy's Child.

The Enterprise accidentally kills a Farscape-style space leviathan thing, discoveres that it's pregnant, and decides to help deliver the baby.

Meanwhile, Geordi meets the engineer whose hologram he fell in love with in a previous season.  Yay. 
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 24, 2008, 01:08:00 PM
Holy shit... This is the episode that the MST3K "souring the space creature's milk" skit comes from.  Hilarious.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 24, 2008, 01:51:56 PM
Night Terrors.

One of the worst episodes of the series.  It features a flying Troi, Guinan clumsily firing laser rifles, and massive amounts of reused footage from Star Trek II.

Adrift in a remote sector, the crew have trouble sleeping.  Which makes them crazy.  And...yeah.

God.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 25, 2008, 01:56:59 PM
Identity Crisis.

A Geordi episode.  A shadow entity is infecting people and turning them into monsters.  This happens to an Away Team from another ship, the last survivor of which is Geordi's friend, so they go to the planet where all the shit happened to investigate, Geordi gets infected, they find the extra shadow and figure it out, everything ends happily.  Doctor Who ripped off this storyline in the fourth season of the new series, though it was much better done.  Thank god.

I'm just killing time until I leave for a German Christmas Dinner with scantily clad redheads and wine. 
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 27, 2008, 12:49:53 PM
The Nth Degree.

The second Barclay episode.  An alien probe makes him super smart, he hijacks the ship and takes it across the unvierse, and everything ends happily ever after.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 27, 2008, 01:21:03 PM
Qpid.

Q's back!  Thank god Q was underused, because they were about to pull his teeth as well.  This episode is more madcap comedy than anything else.  Complete with Worf's famous "I am not a merry man!" gag when Q puts them all into a Robin Hood setting.

More importantly, sexy Vash returns.  She was parading around in a bikini in last season's Picard holiday episode, now she gets to dress like Maid Marion.  Even Worf hits on her.

Also of note -- Sir Guy is played by the guy who did the voice for the original Palpatine in Empire Strikes Back, before the Palpatine we know and love took over in Jedi and the prequels. 
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 27, 2008, 03:45:37 PM
The Drumhead.

Even though we've established over and over that Worf is the only Klingon in Starfleet, another Klingon officer on the Enterprise is accused of selling secrets to the Romulans.  So begins a McCarthy-style witchhunt by a crazy Starfleet admiral who sees spooks behind every door. 

This was meant to be a clip show but, weirdly, TNG's production team recognized after the horrific season two finale that clip shows were not popular.  It's the last time a sci-fi show would do this -- instead of a clip show, they created a throwaway low budget episode set on redressed sets.  Even the people who managed to, eventually, ruin the Star Trek franchise said of clip shows:  "They're an insult to the audience."

God... Why didn't that attitude remain?

Oh well...

The undercurrent of the McCarthyism here is really that the admiral hates Picard for his actions as Locutus.  This episode establishes the damage infliced on Starfleet at the Battle of Wolf 359.  Though, presumably, Picard has known all those figures all along...

This is an RDM script, and the third of his that are clearly recycled in BSG.  In this case, the episode where Sgt. Hadrian investigates the sabotage to the Galactica's water supply, in the first season, which eventually ends up with Adama on trial.  The same thing here -- as the admiral searches around for a conspiracy, he eventually puts Picard on trial.  And Picard gets out of it much the same way Adama does.

We are nearing the motherfucking end of the season... The conclusion is the Klingon Civil War.  But they kill time before we get there.  Before the finale, we get three fucking romance episodes (Troi's mom, fucking Dr. Crusher, and even Data) and yet another stupid Geordi episode.  And, Jesus, are they painful...
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 27, 2008, 04:49:09 PM
Half a Life.

Troi's mom.  She falls in love with someone who must commit a ritual suicide.  Also, I'm going to grind up some glass and eat it.

Michelle Forbes guest stars.  Though not as her recurring character, just as a nobody.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 27, 2008, 11:54:57 PM
The Host.

Dr. Crusher gets a love story.  The Trill are introduced (Dax from DS9 is a Trill).  Here Crusher falls for the Trill, the host dies and the symbiote has to temporarily go into Riker to survive, and Crusher...has to deal with...her...love...with the...

What?  Sorry.  I feel asleep there.  Where was I?  Right!  So Crusher...has to...with...and...
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 28, 2008, 09:29:00 AM
The Mind's Eye.

I'm desperately trying to finish season four because it's eight gigs on my hard drive that I need back.  Plus, it's nice being near the end!  Two more after this.

This is the Manchurian Candidate ripoff episode.  Geordi is captured by Romulans who brainwash him to kill a Klingon ambassador and create a rift between the Klingon Empire and the Federation.  While Geordi episodes leave me cold, at least this one isn't a love story.  And it also advances the Klingon Civil War plot.  So...whatever.  I'm watching these in a minimized screen while doing mind-numbing crap for my sixth and seventh jobs.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 28, 2008, 10:16:03 AM
So Denise Crosby in her recurring role of Sela the evil Romulan is sort of revealed here... I guess they couldn't afford her, so the figure is always in shadow and she dubs in the voice.  Maybe she had a big pimple on her face or something...?
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 28, 2008, 01:57:51 PM
In Theory.

Wow.  Okay... So Data decides to experiment with his ability to be human by dating a fellow crewmember.  Meanwhile, weird shit is happening on the ship thanks to a nearby nebula.  Also, most of the audience was away during this episode to break down the gates at Paramount and ritualistically slaughter everyone in sight.

Patrick Stewart is directing, and claims this is his favorite episode of the series. 

Michele Scarabelli of Alien Nation is the love interest.  Always weird seeing her with hair.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 28, 2008, 06:37:29 PM
Redemption.  Part one.

The Klingon Civil War!  The season four finale, and the 100th episode of the series. 

All the Klingon storylines come together in a big blowout.  Worf fights to redeem his name and his father's honor, all the baddies that have been set up come together.  The Duras sisters are introduced -- they'll be recurring bad guys in TNG, DS9, and will finally destroy the Enterprise in Generations.

Sela is properly introduced.  Denise Crosby's recurring role as a Romulan baddie. 

Ships blow up, Klingons fight, and the still weakened Federation is forced to intervene.  RDM penned the script.

End season four!
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 28, 2008, 07:17:16 PM
So...season five.  We start out by neatly tying up the Klingon Civil War.  The losing side is on the outs, but not decisively defeated.

Michelle Forbes appears as the failed recurring Bajoran character.  Nana Visitor in DS9 would, pretty much, fill those shoes.  A shame.

The Crystalline Entity returns, we get a Wesley episode, and Spock comes back to the franchise for a big two-parter.  There are two alien possession stories, Riker goes gay, Worf has his son for most of the season, and the Borg are tamed in the hideous episode I, Borg, which is the first Borg episode to be retconned out of existence come First Contact

Q is, sadly, absent.

The season ends with everyone trapped in the 1890's. 

Yes, you read that correctly.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 28, 2008, 11:20:01 PM
Part two of Redemption.

Picard finally figures out that there's a Romulan plot and leads a fleet of ships to stop them while Worf and his little buddies try to stop the House of Duras from being assholes.

Much of the story is continued in DS9.  At least, the fate of all the bad guys.  But that's because they were reaching for storylines and, as soon as Worf joined the cast, they just decided to bring in all of his baggage. 

The Sela arc continues.  Sela is, essentially, the same baddie as in Nemesis. Tasha Yar's DNA taken from after she went back in time in the alternate reality...um...yeah.  So what they did was create the same baddie in Nemesis, except they had him made from Picard's DNA because everybody had forgotten Denise Crosby by then.  We should be forgetting Denise Crosby now but, no, they have to drag her back once a season and remind us.

Basically, everything that happens from season five onwards is retconned in First Contact and Nemesis.  Again, the jury's still out as to how much of TNG was a Q-created dream.  If TNG were coming out now, and free of the idiocy on the production staff, that's the path it would take...and clearly feels like the message once you're done with All Good Things....  Especially Q's comment that "We never left the courtroom" from Encounter at Farpoint.

Doing this insane marathon really puts a spotlight on the potential of this show (and franchise).  Shame it got brutally fucked up and self-involved after TNG...and during.

Anyway.  Let's begin season five!  Ugh.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 29, 2008, 10:50:32 AM
Darmok.

Picard is trapped on a planet with an alien who only speaks in metaphor.  So they have to figure out how to communicate to survive a scary monster.

Please...somebody call an ambulance.

This episode is the first time we see Picard's jaunty away mission jacket-uniform.  With the unchanging dress code of the TNg world, you notice the small things.  When the uniforms changed in the second season, when Picard got his grey and red jacket, when Troi actually started wearing clothes...

Also, this is Ashley Judd's acting debut.  She's a nobody ensign but, later in the season, gets a slightly larger role.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 29, 2008, 02:54:49 PM
Ensign Ro.

Here's this piece of shit episode. 

The Bajorans are introduced, and a terrorist attack on a Federation colony gets the Enterprise involved.  Michelle Forbes comes on in the recurring role of Ensign Ro.

I don't know... Michelle Forbes is always a pleasure. 
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: RottingCorpse on December 29, 2008, 05:50:25 PM
I'm amazed that you're actually watching the whole friggin' series. That's dedication.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 29, 2008, 05:53:14 PM
Just wait till Starship Mine!  That's the episode where they're fumigating the Enterprise or something and Picard goes back to get his favorite saddle and runs into hijackers. 

I'm going to need someone to watch that with me so I can hold their hand and cry on their shoulder.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 29, 2008, 06:00:14 PM
Silicon Avatar.

The Crystalline Entity returns. 

So, the Crystalline Entity is some sort of super something.  We never really learn what it is, there's no communication, and there's no backstory.  Although, previously, it was working with and (seemingly) talking to Lore, with hostile intentions towards the Federation.  Here it seems to still have those hostile intentions.

On board the Enterprise is a bitter scientist sent to investigate the entity... Though she really plans on killing it, and does so, and that's the end of the Crystalline Entity arc.  Weird.

Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 29, 2008, 10:12:19 PM
Disaster.

Wasn't going to watch any tonight because, Jesus, I watched them all day... But I've been waiting for this one!  Picard is trapped in the turbolift with three horrible child actors.  Yay!  Meanwhile, Troi is the only officer left to run the Enterprise, with everyone else trapped elsewhere in the ship. 

Worf delivers Keiko's baby so, eventually, there are two DS9 episodes making fun of this episode.  Also Data loses his head...literally!  Ha ha ha!  Fuck me.

The real shame of this episode is that it's the last Star Trek to air before Roddenberry's death.  I think he died the day after it aired or something, which would have been my reaction if I were in his shoes.  God almighty...here I go. 
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 29, 2008, 10:19:12 PM
I mean, seriously...Most animals are better actors than these kids.  The kids are even looking off screen for cues the whole time.  It's more obvious than acting dogs.  I keep expecting someone to throw a fish at them when they get a fucking line right.

A show that costs over a million 1990 dollars per episode and they can't get kids who don't stumble through their lines and constantly look off screen for approval from their parents?
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 30, 2008, 09:57:06 AM
The Game.

Just to drive the knife deeper, we get a fucking Wesley episode from out of nowhere.

He visits the Enterprise and finds everyone addicted to a 3d game. 

So Wesley teams up with fucking Ashley Judd to save the crew.

Dude.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 30, 2008, 10:17:22 AM
Also, in regards to the Crystalline Entity episode, I'm really surprised that Riker didn't try to sleep with it.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 30, 2008, 01:26:27 PM
Unification.  Part one.

The big Spock episode.  He goes to Romulas on a secret mission, Starfleet thinks he's defected, Picard and crew are sent on a covert mission to find him.  Turns out he's trying to organize a peace and blah blah blah.  Kind of a waste of an episode considering the big, big Trek guest star.

Also, Sarek dies.  Which is the first true death -- no resurrections later on --  of a Star Trek character. 

The episode is dedicated to Roddenberry.  Nice that it wasn't the Wesley episode that carried the dedication...
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: Nubbins on December 30, 2008, 02:53:50 PM
(http://jj.am/gallery/d/6770-2/PicardDatalols.gif)
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 30, 2008, 02:59:41 PM
That's actually all I see now.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: Nubbins on December 30, 2008, 03:03:06 PM
hahahaha I don't know why that picture makes me laugh every goddamn time I see it.... but it does.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 30, 2008, 03:03:50 PM
Data's one human moment.  It should tug at your heartstrings!
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 30, 2008, 03:15:22 PM
Unification. Part 2.

Spock's last appearance in Star Trek until the 2009 movie.  Shame it's a snorefest.

Also, this is Denise Crosby's last appearance as Sela, the Romulan baddie who is never really explained and never mentioned again.  (Though she was retconned in Nemesis.)  Crosby returns once more (again as Tasha Yar) in the past sequence of the finale, but, otherwise, she's done. 
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 30, 2008, 05:28:35 PM
A Matter of Time.

Okay, ready?  In an episode written for Robin Williams (who backed out at the last minute), a quirky time traveler from the 22nd century (who has stolen a timeship from the 26th century) comes to the 24th century (still with me?) to "observe."  But really he's stealing shit to take back to the 22nd Century. 

This fucking piece of shit episode WON A FUCKING EMMY!  Feel free to use this as an example as how the Emmys mean nothing.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 30, 2008, 10:41:26 PM
New Ground.

Worf's son returns, and gets a lengthy background passive sort of story arc for the remainder of the season.  In this episode he wanders where he shouldn't and gets caught in a fire.  But don't worry!  Everything's okay!  Too bad for me!

Meantime, the Enterprise is testing a new form of travel that may make warp power obsolete.  But of course it all goes wrong.

Amusing to have Geordi compare the experiment to having the chance to see Cochrane engage the first warp drive since, of course, Geordi was there in First Contact.  Of course, that's in the future.  Except it would have been recorded in the past, so... Oh!  Grandmother Paradox!

This show is killing me, you know.  I didn't want to admit it before but, really, it's killing me.  I feel it deep down in my soul.  A torturous withering of everything that's good...

I can't wait to get to Voyager!  If only to watch  Kate Mulgrew talk in a voice that doesn't register as human.

Janeway:  *squeak squeak*

Majel Barrett Computer:  Please restate command.  Jesus!  Who put a gnome in charge?

Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 31, 2008, 09:51:14 AM
Hero Worship.

Data rescues a child from a shipwreck, and the kid starts to emulate him. 

Yeah.  Look, seriously, someone please call an ambulance.  I would but my wrists are cut.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 31, 2008, 11:50:19 AM
Hero Worship.

Data rescues a child from a shipwreck, and the kid starts to emulate him. 

Yeah.  Look, seriously, someone please call an ambulance.  I would but my wrists are cut.

Jesus fuck... What the fuck am I watching?  Ugh.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 31, 2008, 12:35:41 PM
Violations.

Here we go...you want bad news?  This is it.  A script that's been fucking recycled from cut scenes in the horrible (I couldn't even finish it) Night Terrors episode.

This episode deals with "telepathic rape" as alien scientists probe the crew of the Enterprise.

Wow.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: Reginald McGraw on December 31, 2008, 01:27:19 PM
Amusing to have Geordi compare the experiment to having the chance to see Cochrane engage the first warp drive since, of course, Geordi was there in First Contact.  Of course, that's in the future.  Except it would have been recorded in the past, so... Oh!  Grandmother Paradox!

According to some really long article that someone posted...it happened in an alternate universe, so it hasn't happened yet, and never will in this universe.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 31, 2008, 01:29:35 PM
Violations.

Here we go...you want bad news?  This is it.  A script that's been fucking recycled from cut scenes in the horrible (I couldn't even finish it) Night Terrors episode.

This episode deals with "telepathic rape" as alien scientists probe the crew of the Enterprise.

Wow.

I love how Crusher passes out in sick bay and Data calls for an emergency medical team.  What?  There are no medical people in sick bay?  That's one of those moments where I really want the camera to swing to the left and have all the sick bay people there eating doughnuts and laughing and ignoring everyone.

"Hey, we just thought she was sprawled out sleeping after having a violent hallucination like the other two coma patients over there...or...well, they were over there.  I think we lost the bodies.  We'd better check the cafeteria."
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 31, 2008, 01:34:41 PM
Amusing to have Geordi compare the experiment to having the chance to see Cochrane engage the first warp drive since, of course, Geordi was there in First Contact.  Of course, that's in the future.  Except it would have been recorded in the past, so... Oh!  Grandmother Paradox!

According to some really long article that someone posted...it happened in an alternate universe, so it hasn't happened yet, and never will in this universe.

They're wrong!  Because Seven of Nine mentions it in Voyager, and it's talked about in the later movies, and Enterprise addressed it.  Though the alternate reality thing probably comes from TOS, which had a Zefram Cochrane episode that didn't jive with the TNG-era Cochrane at all.  They even had him born on another planet.

Actually, First Contact kind of screws up the idea that all seven seasons of the TV show are actually set in an alternate reality.

Should I not know all that?
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: Reginald McGraw on December 31, 2008, 02:07:38 PM
Perhaps the alternate universe idea only applies to the upcoming (non)re-boot.  I don't know the entire canon well enough to argue.  I just know that Data singing was a bad idea.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 31, 2008, 02:11:14 PM
Oh yes, the 2009 reboot is a new universe.  Romulans go back in time and screw up Kirk's childhood so he won't become captain.  Even though Kirk had little to do with the Romulans.  It would make more sense for them to screw up Picard's life since he's the one who foiled them at every turn.

Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: Nubbins on December 31, 2008, 02:24:29 PM
Fuckin Picard and his chrome dome
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on December 31, 2008, 02:28:19 PM
He's nowhere near as sexy as Will Riker.   :love3:
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: Nubbins on December 31, 2008, 03:10:28 PM
I saw Patrick Stewart on Broadway when I was in high school.  It was Shakespeare's The Tempest.  True story.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: RottingCorpse on December 31, 2008, 03:30:34 PM
The Tempest is a true story?!?!?!?!

 :blargh:
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on January 01, 2009, 03:06:18 AM
Ensign Dangling Modifier of Betazed to this thread!
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on January 01, 2009, 10:33:25 AM
The Masterpiece Society.

A "stellar core fragment" is in danger of destroying a previously unknown colony, which the Enterprise stumbles across.  Turns out it's an old eugenics colony seeking to create the perfect society.  But, after 200 years, most of the folks are anxious to leave with the Enterprise, so wah wah wah, save our colony, endless prime directive arguments, English actors mutter angrily, etc.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on January 01, 2009, 02:03:01 PM
Conundrum.

I hate this show.

So everyone's mind is wiped by an alien probe.  When they come to, they don't even remember who they are.  So they fight over leadership until the computer helps them out.  But the computer also says that they're in the middle of a war and on a secret mission to destroy the enemy's base. 

Riker fucks Michelle Forbes because, even in battle, and suffering from total amnesia, Riker's ready to fuck anything that moves. 

When it comes down to blowing up the base, everyone hesitates, they out the evil alien, their memories are restored, ha-ha, no problem.  Snore.

Jesus...
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG
Post by: nacho on January 01, 2009, 02:10:57 PM
I mean, I'm shocked that we go seven years without Riker pulling a sleep creep on Picard.

"Sshh, Captain, you can take it all...just remember to breathe..."
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: RottingCorpse on January 01, 2009, 02:32:35 PM
(http://www.greatsociety.org/uploads/userfiles/8/tng.gif)
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 01, 2009, 02:41:18 PM
Oh man... That's awesome.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: RottingCorpse on January 01, 2009, 03:03:56 PM
(http://www.greatsociety.org/uploads/userfiles/8/riker_soul.jpg)
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 01, 2009, 03:06:29 PM
My love!

He just tried to sleep with Michelle Forbes and Troi at the same time.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: RottingCorpse on January 01, 2009, 03:20:26 PM
(http://www.greatsociety.org/uploads/userfiles/8/picardwtf.jpg)
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 01, 2009, 03:23:33 PM
Power Play.

Alien entities take over Data, Troi and O'Brien and they take hostages and blah blah.  This is standard sci-fi possession nonsense.  TNG has already done it, and will do it again, and it happens over and over again throughout the franchise.  

Marina Sirtis broke her tailbone in this episode, insisting that she do her own stunts, even though you don't actually see her do the stunt in question.  But she still bitches about this episode in interviews and so on.  This has bene a bad year for her.  She threatened to leave the show in the fourth season because she thought she was just a sex object.  In response, the Piller/Berman dynamic duo had her doing all sorts of terrible things that she could barely handle and, ultimately (in this episode), caused her lifelong injury.  Har-har-har.

I'm cleaning out my closets and boxing stuff up to put in storage (or trash), so I'm just half watching this shit.  Don't worry, I haven't been possessed by aliens today.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 01, 2009, 03:23:52 PM
(http://www.greatsociety.org/uploads/userfiles/8/picardwtf.jpg)

Man... The theme for season five.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: RottingCorpse on January 01, 2009, 03:29:25 PM
Riker agrees . . .

(http://www.greatsociety.org/uploads/userfiles/8/pic-rikerwtf.jpg)

Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: RottingCorpse on January 01, 2009, 03:32:03 PM
And now I'm spent . . .

(http://www.greatsociety.org/uploads/userfiles/8/picardtits.gif)

(http://www.greatsociety.org/uploads/userfiles/8/data_finger.gif)

Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 01, 2009, 06:07:35 PM
Ethics.

Worf's spine is crushed in an accident.  For Klingons, this calls for ritual suicide!  For the rest of the Enterprise, they're shocked and appalled.

A Federation specialist is called in to heal him, but she's an unethical monster who has been using human test subjects for her radical experiments.

Meanwhile, Worf's son is deeply troubled by all of the events.

Of course they heal Worf.  And of course you know that from the get-go.  Most important is that this episode is basis for the Worf-Troi marriage in the 7th season alternate reality episode, which is what I spent far too much time on New Year's Eve discussing with my friend's wife. 
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: RottingCorpse on January 01, 2009, 07:12:35 PM
Worf LIVES!!!

(http://www.greatsociety.org/uploads/userfiles/8/worfisfrustratedmz8.gif)

(http://www.greatsociety.org/uploads/userfiles/8/worfloluy1.gif)
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 01, 2009, 07:20:40 PM
The Outcast.

Right, try this out:  Riker falls in love with a non-gender androgynous alien that wants to be a woman.  But ISN'T A WOMAN!  So he's falling for...I don't know what.  An it.

TNG fell under loads of fire for being "homophobic," so, each season, they had one of these vague homo episodes.  Though the actor playing the It alien is a woman, and Frakes, when addressing the homophobia stuff, said he would have loved to have shared an intimate kiss with a man.

I realize that I shouldn't be as well versed in all that after joking about having a man-crush on Riker, but...Well... He is secy, isn't he?  You all think so, right?!



Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 01, 2009, 07:40:44 PM
Cause and Effect

This is the episode where the Enterprise is caught in a time loop that ends with the destruction of the ship.  The crew are forced to relive the moments leading to their death over and over.  Thanks to Data and others, they start to piece togetehr what happened, and take actions to stop it.

Essentially a version of Groundhog Day, except they aren't aware of the repetition.  Quite a bit of care has been put into the writing, though, as each time loop is slightly unique, eventually growing into full realization of their situation.

Kelsey Grammer guest stars, and very ably too.  And this episode is referenced several times in the series, most notably in the finale, and also in the movies.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 01, 2009, 08:12:00 PM
AAHHH!!  I'm going to take a break.  Watch the first ten episodes of BSG season 4.  15 days till season 4.5!
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 01, 2009, 08:22:24 PM
Jesus...the first five minutes of the BSG season four opener is better than anything I've seen in the last five seasons of TNG.  And Sci-Fi canceled this show.  Fuckers.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 02, 2009, 09:45:03 AM
The First Duty.

Another Wesley episode.  This one is all about peer pressure at the Academy following a piloting accident.

Wesley's troublesome friend is Tom Paris from Voyager.  Same actor, and meant to be the same character.  But they changed his name for Voyager to avoid paying the writers of this episode royalties.  But, officially, this is Tom Paris' backstory episode.  We next see him in a low, low spot with Kate Mulgrew standing over him.

Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 02, 2009, 10:10:40 AM
I've got to clear off my hard drive, so I'm going to finish season five today (seven more episodes).  Then get book 2 of The Boble set up for the front page, to start next Wednesday.  Then I'm going to jump off the roof of my building.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 02, 2009, 01:10:56 PM
Cost of Living.

Troi's mom has decided to marry someone sight unseen and, as all that falls apart, she also plays mom to Worf's son and manages to fuck that up. 

This ridiculous comedy episode walked away with two Emmys.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: Nubbins on January 02, 2009, 01:29:55 PM
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v194/Nubbins/Animated/New%20Stuff/badasswa8.gif)
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: RottingCorpse on January 02, 2009, 03:28:25 PM
Nacho, is this thread a subtle chronicle of some sort of emotional breakdown?
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 02, 2009, 03:31:50 PM
If there's one more fucking Wesley episode, then yes!
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 02, 2009, 03:36:52 PM
The Perfect Mate.

Picard falls in love with the "peace offering" sent by one warring planet to their rival's leader.  And so he should -- it's fucking Famke Janssen!  And she's way hot.

So for X-Men people, this episode's fun.  Who would have thought that Charles Xavier behaved like such a dork around Jean Grey?
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 02, 2009, 06:01:23 PM
Imaginary Friend.

While passing through a nebula, an alien takes the form of a little girl's imaginary friend.  And the little girl is a spoiled bitch, so the alien imaginary friend becomes violent and psychotic until Picard tells her to cut it out. 

I'm actually studying chess moves, making pizza, and shooting at squirrels while I watch these.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 02, 2009, 06:25:32 PM
I wonder about Troi's job.  She's the only shrink on a frontline battleship with a crew of over a thousand -- including a couple hundred families, all of which appear to be broken homes because Starfleet doesn't assign husbands and wives to the same ships (or because there's a startling death rate going on off-screen, which is the usual issue when kids are in an episode, and which makes sense since Picard murdered a third of Starfleet when he was a Borg).

Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 02, 2009, 06:58:06 PM
I, Borg.

The Enterprise captures an adolescent Borg and Picard decides to turn him into a weapon that will destroy the Borg for good.  But, while they're working on him, his humanity returns and he starts to become an individual again.

So Picard decides not to use him as a weapon (?!) and, ultimately, gives the Borg ("Hugh") the option to return to the Collective, which he does (to save the Enterprise from possible Borg attempts to reclaim the now rogue individual).

We end with the sense that Hugh's individuality remains and, by the end of season six, it's pretty clear that something akin to a virus has entered the Borg Collective and, thanks to Lore, the Borg are pretty much destroyed.

Consequently, First Contact retconned all of that.  This episode, and the two part season six finale with Lore, never happened.  Another point for the argument that the TV show was all part of a Q-created reality.

Though, in reality, they just retconned it because the show's writers are so incredibly stupid and TNG shit all over some wonderful bad guys.  This episode is clearly an embarrassing mistake.

However, this episode does establish the Borg naming.  Hugh is actually Three of Five.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 02, 2009, 07:54:48 PM
The Next Phase.

A transporter accident makes Michelle Forbes and Geordi out of phase.  At first they struggle with the belief that they're ghosts, but then Geordi figures it out and they get everything sorted.  Generic Star Trek storyline #3692.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: Nubbins on January 03, 2009, 01:06:39 AM
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v194/Nubbins/Animated/New%20Stuff/2a57datayes.gif)
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 03, 2009, 09:23:56 AM
The Inner Light.

A probe takes over Picard's mind and puts him in a coma, during which he lives out the entire life and death of an alien.  He recovers, remembers everything, and is supposed to be profoundly changed...except there are no real story arcs in sci-fi yet, so when this episode ends that's it. 

Nonetheless, RDM is at the writing helm and he does a great job.  The episode won a Hugo Award for the writing.  It's Picard heavy, it's not set on the ship, and there's no Star Treky stuff.  It's just a Shakespearean actor playing through the simple life of an alien.

Farscape ripped off this episode, and Stargate (a few times), and everyone else...
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 03, 2009, 09:46:04 AM
Time's Arrow.

The season five finale was a last minute decision to "prove" to the audience, according to Berman, that the show was coming back and DS9 was not replacing it.  Consequently, we get an embarrassing piece of shit thrown together at the last minute.

The crew uncovers Data's head, buried in a cavern for the last 500 years.  This leads them on an adventure which soon finds Data back in 1893 with Guinan learning how to panhandle and meeting Mark Twain, the old standby sympathetic ear for sci-fi time travelers.

The cliffhanger has the Away Team following mystery aliens into the past... WHAT WILL HAPPEN?  OMG!  WAKE ME WHEN IT'S OVER!

End season five!  Now I can clean off my harddrive and get back to BSG.

And probably won't be able to avoid starting season six this weekend...   
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 03, 2009, 10:18:00 AM
So, in preparation...Season six is a little better, but it's still the season that gives us two Barclay episodes, and sees the command crew turned into children by a transporter accident.  We get a bad Q episode and the best Q episode, Tapestry.  In fact, I'd argue that Tapestry is the best episode of the series.  (It's the episode I've been thinking the most about since I started this marathon.)

There's a strong two-parter mid-season, an I, Robot storyline, a weak Worf two-parter in the final third of the season, an Indiana Jones episode, plenty of Romulan and Cardassian shenanigans, and we end with the episode designed to write out both Lore and the Borg, and it's actually quite a good cliffhanger.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: Cassander on January 04, 2009, 04:45:30 AM
only 2 more to go, right?
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 04, 2009, 09:09:31 AM
Yep.  Season seven is the last.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 04, 2009, 09:20:48 AM
Time's Arrow. Part 2.

Anyway, speaking of the devil... Start season six!

With the command crew stuck in the 1890's, they discover a duo of aliens who are stealing people's souls and using a cholera epidemic as a cover for when the victims die, then they're taking the souls back to the 24th century to feed to the comatose aliens in the cave and...yeah.  Wow.  Why not just go plague a pre-warp world in the 24th Century?  Because nobody can interfere then.

Meanwhile, in the 1890's, Mark Twain decides to save the Earth from a perceived invasion while Team Picard work overtime to stop the baddies.  In the process inspiring Jack London to write, and clumsily covering the Guinan backstory even though it was future Guinan who forced Picard to go on the mission.

We end with a paradox.  History repeats itself, everything is as they found it at the start of part one.  So from this episode onwards, Data has a 500 year old head that's barely functional.  But...that doesn't seem to change anything...

Of note, RDM wanted half of season six to be Earth-bound, with the main stars trapped in 1893 and using a cafe run by Picard as an HQ.  That would have been awesome.

This episode won two Emmy Awards.  Apparently for bad writing and Whoopi's ability to play herself in any costume.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 04, 2009, 09:58:04 AM
So Twain, trapped in the future, complains to Troi about how the Federation appears to be just another conqueror like the Spanish, the Dutch, etc.  She talks wildly about how poverty and disenfranchisement doesn't exist anymore, even though we get a snootful of it in DS9 and even a few TNG episodes.  His arguments about how she has blinders on are lost and he happily agrees with her, but then they're arguments that are echoed later throughout DS9, and somewhat in Voyager.  So... The man from 1893 is correct!  In the most annoying way possible.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 04, 2009, 07:40:31 PM
Realm of Fear.

Barclay episode!  He's scared of the transporter and, indeed, something does attack him while he's transporting.  It's actually just the crew of the stricken ship the Enterprise is helping caught in mid-stream or whatever.  It's a silly comedy episode.  But it does have an awesome transporter POV shot. 

This is also the first episode where Chief O'Brien finally gets his regular rank.  He's been a full lieutenant for the past six years, according to his uniform.  Which is an error that the showrunners all confessed to.  It took them six seasons to notice that he was in a lieutenant 's uniform!  That's totally awesome.  What, was everyone doing coke all the time for most of a decade?

The only reason they realized the problem was because O'Brien was about to make the jump to a starring role in DS9.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 04, 2009, 07:47:52 PM
I love how they constantly say that serving on the Enterprise is every officer's dream and people will spend their entire careers just for the chance to get on sewage detail or whatever and yet we have Barclay, who's basically a constant menace to the ship and crew, and Ro Laren, who's a convicted felon.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 04, 2009, 09:00:07 PM
Man of the People.

An enormously lousy Troi episode...and ripoff of The Portrait of Dorian Grey.

Since incorrect uniforms are on the mind after O'Brien in the last episode, this one is probably the most bizarre in the series.  Both Data and Geordi have the incorrect rank insignia in the opening scenes.

Seriously, people, you've been dealing with these characters for six years. 
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 05, 2009, 09:27:54 AM
Relics.

It's the Scotty episode!  The crew finds Scotty trapped in the transporter of a ship that crashed 75 years ago.

The Enterprise is caught in the same trap that took down Scotty's ship (it's a mysterious Dyson Sphere that's causing all the trouble) and they need Scotty's help to escape.  Which gives us the chance for a classic fish out of water story with Scotty hamming it up all the way.

Scotty, by the way, always hated TNG.  Said it was "stealing" from the original series.  Though he did later say that he never really watched the show.  Smart man.  Also of note is that this episode flies wildly against Generations. Kirk's death was not yet envisioned by this point, which Scotty would witness (for the first time) in Generations.  So we'll just pretend that this episode didn't happen when it comes time for the movies.

Though, of course, this episode was meant for Kirk.  But the writers didn't want to work with Shatner.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 05, 2009, 10:07:36 AM
Also, Relics is worth watching just so you can see Scotty drink an entire bottle of whiskey.  (Well, Picard has two glasses.)

In the synthol-swilling universe of TNG, it's lovely to see someone get wildly drunk and walk around the corridors with a bottle.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 05, 2009, 09:14:09 PM
Schisms.

The alien abduction episode, featuring Data's poetry reading about Spot.

Aliens are coming through a subspace rift, abducting people in their sleep, then experimenting on them.  Everyone gets pissy and, eventually, they figure it out and Riker gets to Shatner some bad guys.

I found the poem online and will post it here...because the whole thing is recited in this episode.  And I am now going to carve out my teeth with a sharpened spoon.

Quote
    Felis catus is your taxonomic nomenclature,
    An endothermic quadruped, carnivorous by nature;
    Your visual, olfactory, and auditory senses
    Contribute to your hunting skills and natural defenses.

    I find myself intrigued by your sub-vocal oscillations,
    A singular development of cat communications
    That obviates your basic hedonistic predilection
    For a rhythmic stroking of your fur to demonstrate affection.

    A tail is quite essential for your acrobatic talents,
    You would not be so agile if you lacked its counterbalance.
    And when not being utilized to aid in locomotion
    It often serves to illustrate the state of your emotion.

    Oh Spot, the complex levels of behavior you display
    Connote a fairly well-developed cognitive array;
    And though you are not sentient, Spot, and do not comprehend,
    I nonetheless consider you a true and valued friend.

Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 05, 2009, 10:07:09 PM
True Q.

No Q in the fifth season?  No problem!  The sixth season has three Q episodes!  Well, two on TNG, and one on DS9.  In this episode, he comes to the Enterprise to pick up a girl who is half Q, and developing Q powers so she has to join the Continuum.  This is pretty much ripping off the episode where Q made Riker a Q, though.  Same sort of thing -- the girl wants to stay human and use her powers for good, etc. 

Olivia d'Abo plays the girl -- back before she got that methhead look.  This is one of the weakest Q episodes, but it's still great because de Lancie is awesome.  It also shows a larger plan for the story arc (perhaps thanks to RDM's influence?) as Q hints that the trial of humanity (which bookends the series) is still underway.

Q's one and only appearance on DS9 is the dreadful boxing match episode and is really weird coming in between this episode and the wonderful Tapestry later in the season.  Like all of his appearances in Voyager, the DS9 episode is just a cheesy throwaway.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 05, 2009, 10:58:08 PM
Rascals.

Oh god...

Okay, first off, in the recent Barclay episode, Geordi told Barclay that there has only been two or three transporter accidents in the last decade.  Yet we get more than three per season on the Enterprise alone!

In this piece of fucking shit episode, Picard, Michelle Forbes, Whoopi, and O'Brien's wife are turned into children during a transporter accident.  Then the Ferenghi try and take the ship...so...the kids team up with Worf's son and...defend the ship.

Wow.  Writing that out kind of made my head hurt.  I can't believe somebody wrote that storyline.  Sorry...four someones!

This is O'Brien's last TNG episode, as well.  Embarrassing. 

RDM on the episode:

Quote
When Michael bought the premise I thought he was completely insane: An Away Team rematerializes on the transporter as children — with adult minds! I tried again and again to bury this idea, which of course meant that I would get saddled with the inevitable rewrite when the script came in. I just thought it was a ludicrous idea and wanted nothing to do with it. That said, once I got the assignment, the professional writer in me had to commit to the material and do the best with it that I could, so I tried very hard to bring humor and humanity to the proceedings, chiefly through the Guinan/Ro story that I did end up liking in the end. I still cringe when I think of the episode.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: Cassander on January 06, 2009, 09:41:53 AM
i remember that god awful piece.  shatner never would've allowed anything like that to happen to him.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 06, 2009, 09:52:44 AM
i remember that god awful piece.  shatner never would've allowed anything like that to happen to him.

Actually, they were turned into kids in the Animated Series, which this episode ripped off.

Next up -- if I can find the strength -- is the Wild West episode, where every character is played by Data and Worf, Troi, and Worf's kid are trapped in Deadwood, 1880!
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 06, 2009, 10:15:52 AM
A Fistful of Datas.

That this episode got made just blows my mind...

It's a holodeck accident episode.  Work, Troi, and Worf's kid are trapped on the holodeck while in the middle of an Old West Deadwood program.  Except the writers seem to think Deadwood was in Arizona.

As part of the malfunction, every single character now looks like and has Data's abilities.  So it's a Being John Malcovich thing, except Brent Spiner is playing a multitude of different roles (including barmaids).

Unwatchable, really.  Bad writing, stupid idea, and there are even several visible stunt doubles.  It's like they shot this in a day or something.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 06, 2009, 02:23:03 PM
The Quality of Life.

Just in case you haven't had enough Data stories shoved down your throat, here's a Data episode!

A scientist has made little service robots and, based on their actions, Data comes to believe that they have achieved self-awareness. 

So, yeah, this is the intelligent screwdrivers episode.

Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: Nubbins on January 06, 2009, 02:59:50 PM
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v194/Nubbins/Animated/New%20Stuff/Vijayan_Mash_heartattack.gif)
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 06, 2009, 03:21:56 PM
Dude, is that a picture of me during the Rascals episode?
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: Nubbins on January 06, 2009, 04:24:17 PM
I'm obviously no expert, but I'm guessing that is a picture of you during many, many episodes of this fine show.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 06, 2009, 04:37:05 PM
Well, Chain of Command is next, which is a fine two-parter.  Which is, then, followed by another Barclay/out of control Holodeck episode.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: Nubbins on January 06, 2009, 04:44:29 PM
which is, then, followed by
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v194/Nubbins/Animated/New%20Stuff/Vijayan_Mash_heartattack.gif)
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 06, 2009, 04:54:39 PM
Chain of Command.

Picard, Worf and Crusher are sent on a secret mission.  Meanwhile, Starfleet sends in a new captain who's a specialist in Cardassian fuckery, because that's what's going on, and so he takes command instead of Riker.  And he's an asshole.

Or, rather, just a strict, by-the-book sort.

This is the first episode where Troi begins wearing a normal uniform (she's ordered to do so by the new captain, but it sticks from here on out).  It's also intended to set the stage for DS9, which premiered shortly after.  As a result of the actions in the second part of this episode, DS9 is abandoned by the Cardassians and falls to the Federation (which is also why the Enterprise is at DS9 in the pilot of that show).  

Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 06, 2009, 05:57:46 PM
Chain of Command.

Picard, held captive by the great David Warner, plays a cat and mouse game during a grueling interrogation. 

Meanwhile, on the Enterprise, Captain Idiot tries to stop outright war with the Cardassians, and is also running afoul of the crew.  Riker is relieved of command.

Picard is rescued, of course, but his one on one with David Warner is great to watch.

Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 06, 2009, 10:36:43 PM
Ship in a Bottle.

Okay, so remember a few seasons ago when the Holodeck went insane and Professor Moriarty from Data's Sherlock Holmes program took over the ship simply by building a steampunk controller and talking to the always insane computer? 

Well, Barclay accidentally brings Professor Moriarty back.  And he wants to be given real form.  So there's this whole nonsense of taking over the Enterprise, and simulations trapped in simulations, eventually trapping Moriarty in a cube on Picard's desk, at which point Picard then indirectly address us (!!) saying that maybe they're all trapped in a simulation on someone's desk. 

Whew, man...


(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v194/Nubbins/Animated/New%20Stuff/Vijayan_Mash_heartattack.gif)
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: RottingCorpse on January 06, 2009, 10:38:48 PM
That gif is terrifying.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 06, 2009, 10:43:09 PM
So's this episode.  With the six minute teaser where Barclay pretty much makes the face in the gif while Moriarty explains everything that happened in the second season episode.  SIX MINUTES!!  To recap Moriarty's first episode!  It's just the two of them talking on the empty, inactive holodeck, as well.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 06, 2009, 11:29:18 PM
Aquiel.

Star Trek rips off The Thing, except without any hint of menace.

A Klingon is killed on an outpost, and the surviving Starfleet officer is eventually accused of murder... Turns out it's a shapeshifting monster, which had taken the form of the outpost's seemingly lovable dog! 

So Geordi falls in love with the officer, and there's all this is she or isn't she the killer shit, and they eventually clear her, then the dog attacks Geordi for no reason (even though it was never suspected).

RDM says that he wanted to title the episode "Murder, My Pet!"  Again, just to prove that BSG is a fluke and RDM should never be trusted.

Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: Tatertots on January 07, 2009, 03:30:03 AM
Holy shit @ that GIF.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: Tatertots on January 07, 2009, 05:12:08 AM
http://theslackerz.com/index.php?nav=Comic&Page=107
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 07, 2009, 09:02:18 AM
More a link for the movie thread, eh?
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: Sirharles on January 07, 2009, 10:25:12 AM
Still funny as hell and probably closer to the truth than any of us would like to believe.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: Nubbins on January 07, 2009, 11:11:11 AM
That gif is terrifying.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M._N._Vijayan
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 07, 2009, 07:48:43 PM
Face of the Enemy.

Okay, so, Troi wakes up and she's been surgically altered to look like a Romulan and...something something...she's been kidnapped in the hopes she'll help some high level officers defect and blah blah.

It's The Hunt for Red October. As written by a team of monkeys.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 07, 2009, 10:33:14 PM
Tapestry.

Okay!  In my opinion, this is the best episode of TNG.  And, largely, because it isn't really a TNG episode.

Picard is shot during a mission and his artificial heart gives out.  On the operating table, he dies and goes to a white space, where he thinks he sees god.  But, as he gets closer, he sees that it's Q hamming it up.

Q gives Picard the chance to avoid getting shot.  All he has to do is go back to a pivotal point in his life and reevaluate himself.  So Picard finds himself (it's still Patrick Stewart, we don't see a difference) in the body of his younger self, fresh out of the Academy and waiting for his first assignment with a few of his buds on a remote starbase.  In his youth, Picard was all Shatnered up.  He's getting all the girls, he's gambling, cheating, always rough and ready for a fight.  Of course, modern day Picard is much more cautious and prim and proper.  So he immediately starts to fuck up his life, ultimately leading up to the pivotal point --  a battle with big nasty aliens over a rigged gaming table.

With his second chance, Picard decides to avoid the fight, at the cost of all of his friends and honor.  At which point he's suddenly zapped back to the present, living the life of a low ranking, exceedingly dull science officer on the Enterprise.

So we get the moral of the story when he desperately calls for Q.  You are what you are, no regrets, life is a tapestry, etc.  Q gives him yet another chance to go back and do it right, and we get to see Patrick Stewart stabbed with a sword.

For most of the episode, there's no Enterprise, no other cast members.  It's just Picard and Q with a perfect script, the perfect balance of human drama, comedy, and sci-fi, and a stunningly capable guest cast.  Like, what are you people doing on TNG?
 
RDM wanted this to be "A Q Carol" and have Q and Picard visit a bunch of points in his life, but the Idiot Squad quietly ruining the franchise said no way.  Still, RDM did an amazing job fleshing out the main story.

And Picard's main buddy, and love interest (as he screws everything up) is this insane hottie:

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0105046/


Yum.

If there's one episode of this show you watch, make it this one.  Easily in my top ten best episodes of sci-fi.  And sort of the reason why I started this marathon... Watch this episode in context.  And, Jesus, talk about dropping a diamond into the shitheap.

Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 08, 2009, 07:02:51 AM
Birthright.  Part one.

The lousy Worf two-parter.  Meant to be a one parter, set on DS9, where Worf discovers Klingons who survived the attack that orphaned him and think it wouldn't be honorable if they went home.

Berman and Piller, the great morons behind the destruction of the franchise, insisted on a two-parter.  So the completely unrelated Data can dream subplot with looooong dream sequences was quickly cooked up (and is totally resolved within part one). 

What's weird about the show is that the uniforms changed with DS9, but the TNG folks didn't catch up with that change till Generations.  So the flagship of the Federation was full of 1000 people in outdated uniforms for two years?

Of course, that's all thanks to keeping the budget down.  Still, though. 
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 08, 2009, 11:10:01 AM
Birthright.  Part two.

So this continues the few minutes of story about Worf and his dad that we got in part one.  Straight up action here as Worf is handed over to the Romulans by the disgraced Klingons.  Now a prisoner at the utopia of disgrace, Worf trains the Klingon children about their culture, and eventually leads them all to freedom (though the Klingon adults choose to stay behind and continue living in peace with the Romulans).  Snore.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 08, 2009, 08:20:25 PM
Starship Mine.

Holy shit!  Here it is!  The worst hour of television in sci-fi, and I'm including the Logan's Run series which makes me want to hang myself.

But...it's so bad, you have to watch it.

The Enterprise goes to a starbase to be swept with a lethal laser designed to remove excess warp radiation.  Essentially, the ship's being fumigated.  With special effects!

So everyone has to disembark, but Picard goes back for his favorite saddle.  Yes -- saddle.  Even though they're at a starbase and he won't be horseback riding.  Though he says he's going horseback riding (???) to get away from the annoying officer in charge of the starbase.  I guess he's method acting his lies.

Anyway, there are terrorists on the ship.  So here we are at a military installation and on the flagship for the Federation...and terrorists are on board trying to steal shit from the warp core. 

Picard has to go all Die Hard on them, with the lethal beam sweeping towards him!  OH NO!  WHAT WILL HAPPEN!

Wow...

Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 08, 2009, 09:16:02 PM
Lessons.

Picard falls in love with the head of stellar cartography.  Just a straight up love story episode, where Picard has to order her to her death while on a mission.  Though she survives.  Instead of celebrating her success and survival, they decide that they can't have a relationship because, you know, he's the captain.  Which is the decision they should have had at the start.

Picard's proper upbringing has kind of gone to shit this season.  He's fucking junior officers, savoring weird-ass covert missions, ducking out on official functions...
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 09, 2009, 09:57:14 AM
The Chase.

Touched on in the original series, and fully fleshed out in DS9, is that there was a race of ancient humanoids that seeded the galaxy.  Thus the reason there are so many populated worlds, and they're all generally alike.  It's a Roddenberry thing, and predates Stargate.

Where the original series episode sort of fumbled, this one gets a bit more into the idea.  Though, at its heart, it's a failed comedy-caper episode.  Everyone (the Enterprise, the Romulans, Cardassians, and the Klingons) are rushing to get the archeological prize that Picard's suddenly-deceased mentor was so keen on discovering. 
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: Nubbins on January 09, 2009, 12:56:11 PM
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v194/Nubbins/Animated/New%20Stuff/Vijayan_Mash_heartattack.gif)
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v194/Nubbins/Animated/New%20Stuff/Vijayan_Mash_heartattack.gif)

(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v194/Nubbins/Animated/New%20Stuff/Vijayan_Mash_heartattack.gif)
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v194/Nubbins/Animated/New%20Stuff/Vijayan_Mash_heartattack.gif)
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: RottingCorpse on January 09, 2009, 03:06:37 PM
AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 09, 2009, 03:40:07 PM
Frame of Mind.

Riker is trapped in a play!  He thinks he's going insane and can't tell what's real and what isn't.

Turns out he was kidnapped by aliens and is being probed, and reliving Dr. Crusher's terrible play.

It's the big Frakes acting freakout! 

Yummy Susanna Thompson guest stars.  She became the new Borg queen in Voyager.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 09, 2009, 08:20:56 PM
Suspicions.

Crusher tells Guinan, in flashback, about how she was court-martialed for helping a brilliant Ferenghi scientist.  To solve the puzzle and clear her name, she goes on a suicide mission, battles an evil alien who set her up, and saves the day.  All's well. 

Talk about throwaway episodes.  This one feels like it was cobbled together the weekend before filming. 

This is Guinan's last TV story.  Next we see her is as the Guinan Spirit Guide in Generations.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: Nubbins on January 09, 2009, 09:13:52 PM
Nach, it's Friday night.  Let's start drinking.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 10, 2009, 12:23:28 AM
Rightful Heir.

So...Worf is "feeling empty" and seeks fulfillment...and...goes to a monastery...and has a vision of a legendary Klingon hero...and...season six must have run over budget because WHAT THE FUCK?

Anyway, this is sort of the end of the Klingon arc.  It picks up again in DS9.  Season six is, basically, clearing the decks for the final season.  They knew season seven would be the last.  Roddenberry actually planned that out when the show first started.  Though all of the meaty arcs were left by the wayside, the ones that did survive all come to a conclusion.  So here ends the Klingon shit, and the season finale (which is, thankfully, very close) ends the Borg and Lore.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 10, 2009, 10:28:05 AM
Second Chances.

Jesus... Okay.  So the Enterprise goes to a planet that Riker, as a junior lieutenant, helped evacuate eight years previously. (Which would have been just before he came aboard the Enterprise, so he went from idiot lieutenant to first officer on board the flagship in one year?)

Anyway, unbeknownst to them eight yeras ago, there was a transporter accident that duplicated Riker.  Gasp!  My bromance just got more complicated!

The Enterprise finds the duplicate Riker -- now a wild man who has been living on an inhospitable planet for eight years -- and brings him aboard.  He's a bitch, and our Riker hates that, and the story is about them clashing.

Ultimately, the second Riker returns to Starfleet and goes to serve on another vessel -- showing up again in DS9 as a weird-ass fugitive in a storyline that makes no sense.

Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 10, 2009, 11:03:48 AM
By the way, the transporter duplication malfunction is well overdone in Star Trek.  Most notably the good Kirk/Evil Kirk in the original series.

What's weird is that, in this case, our Riker is almost the evil one.  The younger, much more romantic duplicate brings to light how our Riker fucked over Troi in favor of his career, and is generally abrasive and rough in his command style.  And, of course, our Riker relentlessly hounds and even teases the duplicate.

You end the episode wishing the duplicate stayed.  He was supposed to.  An early draft of the script had our Riker sacrificing himself, Data becoming first officer, and the duplicate filling Data's position.  Would have made for a fascinating final season... But, oh well.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 10, 2009, 12:34:06 PM
Timescape.

Another throwaway episode.  Picard, Troi, Data and Geordi come back on a shuttle and find themselves on an Enterprise frozen in time, just seconds before it's destroyed (they first witness the destruction).  This is the same sort of story as the SG1 finale, except without the human touch, and everything is resolved neatly and ends with a comedy segment.  Ugh.

Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 10, 2009, 09:44:33 PM
Descent.

Ahhh!! Season six finale!  Oh my god!  I'm going to die at the end of this episode!

The Borg launch another assault.  But, this time, they're acting as individuals.  What is it?  The "virus" from I, Borg?  Or could it be...something else!

It is.  It's Lore, who has somehow taken over the Borg.

All this is now quietly swept under the carpet after First Contact.  Originally, this finale (and the opener for season seven) was meant to end the Borg storyline (and Lore's storyline).

Special guest star: Stephen Hawking!  Who gets in an argument with Isaac Newton.  Yay!

But that idiotic holodeck teaser aside, the episode is the usual action-packed cliffhanger finale routine.  It's a shame that the Lore Borg didn't carry on.  All of a sudden, the Borg's inherent limitations were removed.  Would have been nice to see that version of them in First Contact.  But, then, they probably would have won the day.  And instead of all that effort to destroy Humanity, Lore probably would have had them seeking out the best cheesecake or something.

Oh well... End season six!
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 10, 2009, 10:01:57 PM
By the way, here's a question -- this episode again features the prim and tough admiral lady, whose flagship is an old Excelsior class starship like we saw in Star Trek III.  It's much more clear in this episode that she's some sort of field admiral and that is actually her ship.  So if you have an admiral out there gallivanting around, how come you give her an old ship?  She's not on the flagship?  Or another Galaxy class ship like the Enterprise? 

Hi, I'm the admiral, I'm in charge of this sector.  This is my freighter...
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: Cassander on January 11, 2009, 01:18:57 AM
you have to come to grips with the fact that star trek is written by individuals who never came near an army field book or any other sense of federal discipline.  they're all just grasping at straws and creating fun alien monsters, man.  i stopped looking for reason in this franchise when i was 18.  get over it!
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 11, 2009, 09:10:07 PM
Okay, so let's prepare for the seventh and final season.

We start out with the conclusion of the season six cliffhanger, killing off Lore in a Hal 9000 way and writing off the Borg.  We get a series of weird character-driven episodes.  Everything from Geordi helping his mom to Picard and Riker posing as space pirates to Troi's mom falling into a "psychic coma."

There are several Worf episodes.  Dealing with his wayward human half-brother, shifting through alternate realities, playing comedy ambassador, and trying to teach his son how to be a good Klingon.

Data meets his mom, has weird dreams, and has amnesia in a trio of lame-ass Data episodes.

The Enterprise becomes sentient for an episode.  Yes, you read that right.

An entire episode is dedicated to junior officers working shit jobs.

The Enterprise crew are devolved by a virus, battle Cardassian spies, and solve madcap murders. 

Wesley fights for an American Indian space colony.  Uh-huh.

And we end on a high note, after a season of crap.  The trial from the pilot episode continues and concludes in a two hour finale.

 God, I'm looking forward to that finale.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 11, 2009, 09:20:51 PM
Descent. Part two.

So Hugh from I, Borg shows up to save the day.  This is after Lore has brainwashed Data and the situation seems oh-so-dire for both Team Picard on the Borg planet and the Enterprise in orbit.

But thanks to the wiles of Dr. Crusher, in command of the Enterprise, the Borg ship is destroyed.  And thanks to Hugh's delaying tactics, Data is freed of Lore's control and Lore gets a 2001-style death scene.

Data wins the Emotion chip, which is partially destroyed and irreparable.  Though it seems fine in Generations, when it's actually installed and working.  He does say at the end of this episode that it can be fixed, but it looks pretty fucked up and it's never addressed again this season, even with an episode that features another Soong-type android and Data's continuing quest to be human.  Well...the emotion chip is humanity.  That's the point. 

Oh well...
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 12, 2009, 06:39:08 AM
Liaisons.

Nothing but stupidity....

Three ambassadors arrive.  Picard, while shuttling one of them to the Enterprise, crashes on a planet.  The two other ambassadors make it to the Enterprise safely, though.

On the Enterprise, it's up to Worf and Troi to deal with the ambassadors, because I guess Riker is doing his hair.  Marooned on a planet, Picard finds himself a prisoner of a lovestruck castaway.  But it turns out that she is the very male third ambassador in disguise.

The ambassadors were sent to experience emotions.  Love, with Picard, anger with Worf (one cheats at poker and Worf politely calls him on it), and pleasure with Troi which, unusually for Troi, does not involve her falling in love and fucking.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 12, 2009, 10:29:53 AM
Interface.

Geordi develops and plus himself into a virtual reality probe that can go to dangerous places but deliver the sensation that he's actually there.  So they go off to explore some wreckage, when Geordi learns that his mother's ship has been lost.  Gasp!  Struggling with his mother's loss, Geordi experiences some ghosting while using the VR probe, and eventually comes to interact with his mother on the completely unrelated dead ship that the Enterprise is exploring.  It's really just a creature that lives in the atmosphere of the gas giant that the dead ship is trapped in, which is inexplicably recognizing a mechanical probe as being linked into a human mind and, so, naturally, it takes the form of that person's dead mother to comfort them because...no, wait, what the fuck?

Anyway.  Fucking yawn. 
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: Nubbins on January 12, 2009, 11:32:36 AM
*man having a heart attack gif*
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 12, 2009, 11:54:17 AM
I think, for the seventh season, we can just move to a cat sleeping gif.  I CAN HAS WRITING STAFF?!
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: Nubbins on January 12, 2009, 12:07:03 PM
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 12, 2009, 12:45:11 PM
Gambit.  Part one.

Oh no!  Picard's dead?!?!  Riker can't accept that, so he investigates Picard's murder...and is captured by pirates raiding Romulan archeological treasures, where he finds Picard working undercover.  Yo-ho-ho, matey! 

We also get a seemingly endless phaser battle.  Like, a They Live fistfight scene style phaser battle. 

This is worth a two-parter the same way it's worth getting shot by a sniper.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: RottingCorpse on January 12, 2009, 03:32:15 PM
This thread both frightens and amazes me.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 12, 2009, 03:46:14 PM
Hey, we're approaching the end!
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: RottingCorpse on January 12, 2009, 03:47:25 PM
I know. Your discipline is impressive yet worrisome.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 12, 2009, 03:48:51 PM
I'm half tempted to do the whole franchise.  Move on to DS9, then Voyager... But last season's DS9 crossover episode reminded me how much that series sucked.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 12, 2009, 08:07:04 PM
Gambit.  Part two.

Picard and Riker foil the pirate's plot and save the day, blah blah. (It's a story about racism, really.)

So here's the thing:  This is not a Starfleet mission.  Picard goes AWOL, fakes his own death, joins a pirate ship, robs the sector blind, attacks a Federation outpost and the Enterprise, and then returns to command without repercussions. 

Repair order for starboard engine:  Captain went rogue and blew it up from pirate vessel while pursuing personal whimsy.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 12, 2009, 09:02:39 PM
Phantasms.

Parasites in the warp core cause Data to have nightmares.

This episode shows that they are completely off the rails in the seventh season.  It's full of surreal sexual and violent nightmares.  We see Crusher suck out Riker's brains with a straw (yes, literally), Data loses his arms, and, infamously, Data stabs Troi (and rape is implied) in the turbolift.  A scene that caused a major uproar here and was censored in the UK.  Still is. 

The episode also steals from the Tom Petty "Don't Come Around Here No More" video!

It's actually worth watching because it's deeply insane and offensive.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: Cassander on January 12, 2009, 09:53:24 PM
that's one of the only ones i really remember.  only, as a child, i remember wanting a troi birthday cake.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 12, 2009, 09:56:25 PM
And having her scream as you cut into her?

I like how Troi's Data Cake at the end shows that she has absolutely no artistic ability.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 12, 2009, 10:04:19 PM
Dark Page.

Troi's mom attempts to teach a race of telepaths to communicate normally.

Turns out that Betazoids have midichlorines and the telepathic race drain Troi's mom of the special chemicals used during telepathy.  She falls into a coma.

While trying to help her, Troi goes into her mom's head and finds that she's really guilty about the accidental death of Troi's sister (whom she was ignorant of).  This acts as a "confession" and Troi's mom wakes up right as rain.  The end.  Seriously.

Also, this is one of Kirsten Dunst's first roles (America's unknown child actors!). 

Also:

Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 12, 2009, 10:59:32 PM
Attached.

In 1991, Rutger Hauer did Deadlock:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0103239/

This is the same story with Picard and Crusher.  Except with implants.  And instead of their heads blowing off, they just feel ill and can read each other's thoughts.  This is after being taken prisoner by aliens.

So...comedy prison escape and fugitive hijinks follows!  Guffaw!
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 13, 2009, 07:14:44 AM
Force of Nature.

Aliens prove that warp fields are slowly damaging subspace, creating dangerous rifts.  It's the environmentalist episode!  And the problem isn't solved.  The Federation and the Klingons agree to go through certain areas at low warp, the Romulans refuse, but there's no solution in sight and this is, ultimately, going to consume the galaxy and kill everyone.

Except...we never hear about it again outside of this ridiculous, poorly-written excuse for an episode.

Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 13, 2009, 10:35:29 AM
Inheritance.

Data meets his "mom."  Dr. Soong's ex-wife... Who, it turns out, is an android.  And nobody knew!  Wow!  Shocker!  Amazing!  Music crescendo!  Commercial break! 

Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 13, 2009, 12:06:50 PM
Parallels.


Worf flies his shuttle into a quantum singularity and finds himself flitting around several hundred different alternate universes.  Like that Stargate episode where the SG1 teams from different universes are all channeled to our Earth.  You get all the little differences -- the desperate Borg-ravaged universe, the comedy universe, and so on.

And special guest star -- Wesley Crusher!  AAAHHHH!!!

This episode further sets up the Worf/Troi relationship, which has been gently touched on since season five.  Though is forgotten in the movies.

Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: Nubbins on January 13, 2009, 01:04:21 PM
I got really drunk once and flew my shuttle into a quantum singularity.  Talk about an embarassing morning after.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 13, 2009, 01:11:18 PM
In one reality, are you actually Murph?
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: Nubbins on January 13, 2009, 01:19:19 PM
God I hope not.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 13, 2009, 01:28:16 PM
The Pegasus.

Riker's old commander, now an admiral, comes aboard with secret orders.  He orders the Enterprise to go on a mission to recover the USS Pegasus, an experimental ship lost year's ago, and Riker's first assignment.

The Romulans are also looking for the shop, and there's the whole cat and mouse nonsense.

On the ship is a cloaking device that not only is a perfection on regular cloak technology, but allows the ship to pass through solid matter.

So the problem -- the device went wrong, all but eight of the crew were killed, and Riker and the evil admiral have been covering it up ever since.

But...the day is won.  The device recovered, the Romulans defeated, the admiral disgraced...and so is Riker, somewhat.

In what is probably the most wild example of retconning, the final episode of Enterprise is set during this episode.  Riker's running a holodeck program for five years, I guess, trying to figure out how to tell Picard about the insane admiral.

The great Terry O'Quinn (one of my favorite character actors) plays the insane admiral.  His typical heavy role.



Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 13, 2009, 03:08:13 PM
Homeward.

Worf's human brother breaks the prime directive in order to save a village of primitives.  This is something Worf will later do himself in Insurrection, along with the rest of the crew, so all the struggle in this episode is silly and pointless in hindsight.

This is a snore-fest...but still better than the next episode, which is a fucking ghost story with Crusher. 
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: RottingCorpse on January 13, 2009, 05:04:25 PM
I'm a huge fan of preproduction horror stories, and in another thread Star Trek: Phase II came up.  Fascinating stuff and from Phase II's ashes, both the Star Trek feature films AND The Next Generation was born.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Star_Trek:_Phase_II (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Star_Trek:_Phase_II)

Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 13, 2009, 06:47:27 PM
Sub Rosa.

Crusher's grandmother dies and she goes to the funeral...and discovers that the old lady had a 34 year old lover...who she then discovers is an alien lifeform that has haunted her family since the 1600's.  And he lives in a candle.

This is seriously the storyline.

So this alien has been with her family for 800 years, but now shit starts to go wrong.  He eventually fucks up Picard and Data and Crusher is forced to kill him.

Recognize the story?  It's Anne Rice's The Witching Hour.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 13, 2009, 09:59:26 PM
Lower Decks.

Halfway mark!

Junior officer nobodies (we've met some before during that Wesley at the academy episode) POV episode!  They're wondering why the command crew is acting hinky on a tense mission.  But, really, it's just one of those from the other side of the room stories.  The life and times of the ship's janitors!  Star Trek 90210!

It's a passable episode, really.  Especially compared to that last episode, Sub Rosa.  I mean, dude... I couldn't finish it.  Not just the ghose in the candle, but it's on an alien colony that's modeled after the Scottish highlands...complete with mist and people in traditional outfits talking in silly fake accents.  That's where fucking Crusher is from.  No wonder she's such a crazy harpy.

A ghost in a candle!!

Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 13, 2009, 11:01:13 PM
Thine Own Self.

Been a while since we got an Emmy episode.  This is one.

Data, on a mission to recover some radioactive waste, suffers amnesia and stumbles into a primitive village, where he unwittingly gives everyone radiation sickness.

Meanwhile, Troi puts in for a promotion and makes commander after, what, a decade at lieutenant commander.  Loser.

Most of the cast are absent.  I like that the first Emmy in 30 or 40 episodes goes to one that features only three of the major cast members.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: Cassander on January 14, 2009, 02:19:14 AM
see, in the future rank is determined not by years of service, valor in combat, or honorable deeds, but by how many different species you have slept with.  or, in troi's case, "empathized" with.  which is why jean-luc picard, captain of the most outstanding ship in the federation and saver of thousands of worlds, never gets even a whiff of a promotion.  and why kirk got to (briefly) become admiral.  i think.  i gave up on all this years ago. 
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 14, 2009, 07:04:40 AM
Or is it determined by a change in writing staff which includes someone who asks:  "How come nobody has been promoted since season one?" (That's Ronald Moore) and gets the reply "Because it would ruin the reality of the show."  (That's Miller and Berman)
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 14, 2009, 07:19:33 AM
Masks.

The Enterprise is studying a comet, which also holds a library and spooky temple from a dead civilization...which takes over Data who, yet again, takes over the Enterprise. 

It suddenly hit me -- the Windows virus uploaded to the alien ships in Independence Day makes perfect sense to TNG people.  How many fucking times does Data malfunction?  Soong-type android my ass.  I think he was made by Worf's little boy.

This episode is laughable and awful and I hope everyone who made it dies.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 14, 2009, 12:14:04 PM
Eye of the Beholder.

And now Troi gets a ghost story!  Though this one is a bit more palatable.  While investigating the death of a crewmember, she ends up unraveling a murder that took place on the Enterprise while it was being constructed.  And they aren't ghosts, they're just "telepathic leftovers" which, of course, Troi can pick up as part of her powers.  So okay. 

Also, Troi's hotter than Crusher, and we get some serious interior wankery as they crawl all over and give us a peek at parts of the ship we've never seen before.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 14, 2009, 06:26:43 PM
Genesis.

Barclay's last episode!  He has a cameo in the movies, and appears in a bunch of Voyager episodes. 

This is yet another tried and true sci-fi rip off.  Picard and Data are off in a shuttle screwing around and, when they return, they find that the crew is infected with a virus that devolves them into prehistoric creatures.  All thanks to Barclay getting the flu.

Troi becomes an amphibian, Riker becomes a caveman, Barclay becomes a spider, the smiley Asian nurse becomes an ape, Worf becomes a scary videogame monster.  It's all terrible nonsense, but it's fun to have Picard and Data fucking around on a ghost ship full of monsters. 

Oh, and Picard turns into a lemur.

Yeah.

Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 14, 2009, 08:46:59 PM
Journey's End.

Wesley Episode!

(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v194/Nubbins/Animated/New%20Stuff/Vijayan_Mash_heartattack.gif)

Wesley tries to save an American Indian colony from the Cardassians. 

It's a clumsy lead-in for Voyager, actually.  This is where Chakoty comes from. The Indians are told that they have to be relocated, and they bitch about how they've had enough of white people, and so they end up leaving the Federation, but fall under Cardassian rule.

The story is picked up in DS9 with the founding of the Maquis, and it all comes to a head in the Voyager pilot.

Wesley is written out of the series forever.  He leaves Starfleet (and, presumably, his humanity) to join The Traveler.  But, like everything in the series, this is retconned in the movies.  Notably Nemesis, where Wesley is alive, well, human, and in Starfleet again.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: Cassander on January 14, 2009, 08:56:12 PM
Wesley is written out of the series forever.  He leaves Starfleet (and, presumably, his humanity) to join The Traveler.  But, like everything in the series, this is retconned in the movies.  Notably Nemesis, where Wesley is alive, well, human, and in Starfleet again.

Probably still running and hiding from Keifer Sutherland.

(http://img5.allocine.fr/acmedia/rsz/434/x/x/x/medias/nmedia/18/66/84/39/18958984.jpg)
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 14, 2009, 09:03:17 PM
How often have you struck that same pose in the same outfit?  Once a day?
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 14, 2009, 09:08:45 PM
So when the indian asks Wesley what's sacred to him, Wesley answers: "Things."

Ronald D. Moore, ladies and gentlemen.  I'm starting to wonder who is actually writing BSG.  Maybe everyone is getting together and correcting his teleplays before the episode films.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: Nubbins on January 14, 2009, 09:15:09 PM
Things.... fuck, that shit is heavy.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 14, 2009, 09:28:52 PM
Firstborn.

So Worf's son comes from the future to teach his past self to be a warrior so that he's not such a troubled pussy.  Though we don't find out the identity of the mysterious family friend until the climax, where there's much heartwarming Klingonness.

This closes the Alexander story arc.  All is okay, tra-la-la, Worf finally makes peace with having a son.  And we don't see Alexander again till the end of DS9.

This episode also restarts the Duras Sisters arc, largely setting up the plot for Generations (which was conceived, written, and filmed during the seventh season).

It's also a DS9 crossover episode.

And, also, it sucks.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 15, 2009, 09:51:08 AM
Oh, happy day.  The last three normal episodes are on my flash drive.  I'll try and get them in today, and then watch the two hour finale tonight...and then the marathon is over!
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: Cassander on January 15, 2009, 09:54:03 AM
i wish i could be there at the finish line to watch you fall to your knees in joyous exhaustion.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 15, 2009, 09:55:44 AM
I think my apartment building will explode five minutes before the conclusion.  Then I'll have to sit in purgatory for a thousand years, forever tormented by the fact that I failed to finish the marathon.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 15, 2009, 10:01:31 AM
Bloodlines.

So...let's do it.  In what we'll call Nemesis-lite, the Ferengi (Bok -- a recurring enemy) reveals that Picard has a son he didn't know about...and that son is being held for ransom.

Of course, unlike in Nemesis, it's all a clumsy trick and Picard outsmarts Bok and wins the day.  This pretty much closes the "evil Ferengi" arc, as Bok is taken into custody and never heard from again.  And now we'll pause to yawn and fall asleep at my desk before we even get into the first act.

Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: RottingCorpse on January 15, 2009, 10:41:24 AM
What are you going to do with yourself when this is over?
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 15, 2009, 10:51:15 AM
Marathon Starlost:
http://www.greatsociety.org/forums/index.php/topic,3462.0.html
http://www.greatsociety.org/forums/index.php/topic,3692.msg98014.html#msg98014


Marathon Spy:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spy_(TV_series)

And catch up on the dozens of movies I've been downloading.  Plus, BSG starts up tomorrow.  So back to regular programming.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 15, 2009, 11:31:14 AM
Emergence.

Oh man... Ready for this plotline?  The Enterprise becomes sentient...and it's pregnant!

Well...it's trying to produce offspring, and the crew does what it can to help this new lifeform. 

Once the lifeform is born, the Enterprise goes back to normal.  Tra-la-la. 

Dear god...
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: Sirharles on January 15, 2009, 12:02:10 PM
Emergence.

Oh man... Ready for this plotline?  The Enterprise becomes sentient...and it's pregnant!

Well...it's trying to produce offspring, and the crew does what it can to help this new lifeform. 

Once the lifeform is born, the Enterprise goes back to normal.  Tra-la-la. 

Dear god...

And then Farscape was the spin off right? :puke:
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 15, 2009, 12:15:55 PM
Haha... God.  If only.  The lifeform is ridiculous, and most of the story plays out on the crazed holodeck.  The Enterprise speaks through the conductor of the Orient Express, and we keep going from what's really happening in the cargo bay with Picard to the rest of the cast trapped on the out of control holodeck.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: Sirharles on January 15, 2009, 12:17:27 PM
Oh God!  Yea, I remember that one.  How bad is it then when you are describing these I can remember the episodes in vivid detail.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 15, 2009, 12:27:51 PM
It means you're worse than I am, because I don't remember these episodes.  Just the biggies -- the Q episodes, and the real Borg episodes.  You and Cass are eating Troi cake on the holodeck!
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: Reginald McGraw on January 15, 2009, 04:22:29 PM
So wait, what is the life form?  A mini Enterprise?
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 15, 2009, 04:25:05 PM
So wait, what is the life form?  A mini Enterprise?

The standard energy space beast.  They run across something like this once a season.  (It's taken over the Enterprise and is driving it towards an uncharted nebula which is home, so the Enterprise isn't really alive.)
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: Reginald McGraw on January 15, 2009, 04:26:15 PM
Dumb!
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 15, 2009, 04:28:08 PM
Usually this sort of energy beast is attached to the Enterprise and feeding off of it, or it makes Troi pregnant, or it gets in someone's mind and makes them go through a dream episode.  They just wanted to film shit on an old train set, I think.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: RottingCorpse on January 15, 2009, 04:30:10 PM
"Hey, we've found this great train set on the Paramount backlot. Let's build a TNG episode around it."
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 15, 2009, 04:34:31 PM
Yeah, pretty much.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 15, 2009, 06:09:09 PM
Preemptive Strike.

So the last normal episode is a Michelle Forbes episode.  She's sent to mess around with the Maquis.  Infiltrate and disable their operation.  Or something.

This ends the Ro story arc.  She betrays Picard (and we get a tense epilogue between Riker and Picard about it) and joins the Maquis...and is never heard from again.

Really, though, everything about this season is setting up Voyager.  The Maquis shit, especially.  But there are also more about the American Indian colonists here, and colonies with mixbreed Klingons and a Vulcan colony (which explains the other Maquis Voyager members).

A shame, really.  We're wrapping up a big moment in sci-fi history with over-reaching scripts trying to drive viewers to DS9 and set up the other spin-off.  Kind of a sad and pathetic way to end.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 15, 2009, 08:36:52 PM
All Good Things....

It's the end!

So, I remember well all the hype building up to TNG.  Largely because Star Trek II was one of my favorite movies and the promo for TNG stole all the special effects.  Look at this gay shit:


It was huge.  The rebirth of sci-fi.  TNG may be impossible to watch now, but that's only because it opened the door for bigger, better sci-fi.  Stargate, BSG, Firefly, Farscape, Red Dwarf...

In All Good Things..., Picard finds himself living his past and his future.  The past is at Farpoint Station, where the series began, and Q first put all of humanity on trial.  The dystopian future finds Picard responsible for the destruction of humanity, and gives us plenty of future ship wankery.

The trial is still on.  The last seven years may well have been in a Q reality, at least partially.  Some of the people producing wanted that to be the case, and had ambitious plans to make several of the more surreal episodes Q-related.  But all of that first season stuff was lost.  Shame, really.  If the show were being made today, we'd see a far darker story.  The Borg were insects that took over human bodies and gave them super strength, Q was meant to have a larger, more controlling presence, the Federation would have cracked and bled... We see some of these elements survive, but it's all whitewashed. 

Denise Crosby and Colm Meaney return so that the past timeline can be lovingly recreated (the old season one uniforms are back, everyone acts like they did in that clunky first season, and even the sets reflect season one's style).   Revisiting the trial chamber from the pilot episode is a thrill.  The old cast back together, and done up to look like they did at the start. 

The last two seasons have been lackluster but, here, they pull out all the stops.  The script is surprisingly brilliant and unusually complicated, the effects are fun, and scene-stealer Q is back to his more menacing old ways. 

And when it comes to influencing modern sci-fi, what better example than this script?  Written by the Lost scriptwriter, the same elements were recycled in the most recent season of Lost, which is basically one, long reinterpretation of this episode.  Most notably with the constants, and the time travel.

The conclusion -- In the end, there is no judgment.  Picard's trial is over, but Q tells him that Humanity's trial continues. And so we move to the silver screen.

The episode walked away with a Hugo, and was nominated for almost half a dozen Emmy awards.

My god... Hard to believe I actually completed this marathon.  It's been weird and painful.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: Nubbins on January 16, 2009, 12:57:56 PM
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v194/Nubbins/Animated/New%20Stuff/Vijayan_Mash_heartattack.gif)(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v194/Nubbins/Animated/New%20Stuff/Vijayan_Mash_heartattack.gif)(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v194/Nubbins/Animated/New%20Stuff/Vijayan_Mash_heartattack.gif)
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v194/Nubbins/Animated/New%20Stuff/Vijayan_Mash_heartattack.gif)(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v194/Nubbins/Animated/New%20Stuff/Vijayan_Mash_heartattack.gif)(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v194/Nubbins/Animated/New%20Stuff/Vijayan_Mash_heartattack.gif)
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v194/Nubbins/Animated/New%20Stuff/Vijayan_Mash_heartattack.gif)(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v194/Nubbins/Animated/New%20Stuff/Vijayan_Mash_heartattack.gif)(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v194/Nubbins/Animated/New%20Stuff/Vijayan_Mash_heartattack.gif)
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v194/Nubbins/Animated/New%20Stuff/Vijayan_Mash_heartattack.gif)(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v194/Nubbins/Animated/New%20Stuff/Vijayan_Mash_heartattack.gif)(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v194/Nubbins/Animated/New%20Stuff/Vijayan_Mash_heartattack.gif)
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 19, 2009, 11:46:39 PM
see, in the future rank is determined not by years of service, valor in combat, or honorable deeds, but by how many different species you have slept with.  or, in troi's case, "empathized" with.  which is why jean-luc picard, captain of the most outstanding ship in the federation and saver of thousands of worlds, never gets even a whiff of a promotion.  and why kirk got to (briefly) become admiral.  i think.  i gave up on all this years ago. 

You know...I've been thinking about this, as I prepare to watch the movies.  (Gasp!)  How can Picard not be an admiral?  You're right, he's saved mankind.  Over and over.  The Q -- the most powerful race ever -- have singled him out.  He's frequently commanded multiple ships (and, in First Contact, very briefly taken command of Starfleet as a whole)...on and on.  God.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 20, 2009, 12:17:30 AM
Generations.

Work on the seventh Star Trek movie started during the sixth season of TNG, which is why the seventh season benefited from some upgraded effects -- notably in the finale, where Geordi has his robot eyes and all that shit.  It's also why the seventh season had some weirdness, like the sudden reappearance of the Duras sisters.

It was Berman's idea to have a "passing the baton" movie with Shatner.  Pretty much everybody from Berman's own number two, Michael Piller, down to the janitor thought it was a bad idea.  Why have a passing the baton movie when TNG spent seven years carving its own niche and departing from the original series?  Why take two steps back?

But...Berman was in charge.

Ronald D. Moore tried to compromise -- presenting a script that had the entire original cast in a prologue (elements of which survive with the maiden voyage of the Enterprise B) and no Kirk till the final climax, where he dies.  All the stuff in between would be TNG. 

Some of the cut elements of RDM's script were incorporated into All Good Things..., so there's some contradiction when you watch the movie right after the series finale.  Essentially, you have two competing finales going on.  They were filmed at the same time, using the same sets, so that helps foster that sense.

McDowell came at the last minute. He hated the script, hated his character, but wanted to be involved in Star Trek, so he took it.  And has received death threats from Shatner fans ever since.  That's what you get for being a fanboy, Malcolm!

Meanwhile, cat hater Brent Spiner took this opportunity to strong arm the writers into killing Spot, as well.  Though that scene (and, bizarrely, much of the crash aftermath) was cut.



Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 20, 2009, 04:49:37 PM
First Contact.

So, despite all the trouble, and the lame ass story, Generations cost 35 million and made 120 million.  Easy! First Contact started to come together immediately. 

Berman wanted a time travel story, and those were the only guidelines he dropped on the desk of Ronald Moore.  Moore wanted a bad guy, a la Khan, to really hit the franchise out of the ballpark.  TNG's big bad was the Borg.  Berman was happy.

At first, Moore was planning to take the movie to absurd limits.  It almost sounds like a classic Doctor Who story, actually, with Picard chasing the Borg to Ancient Rome, to the Civil War, to Da Vinci's workshop, and so on.  Patrick Stewart put a stop to all that nonsense.

So the next round was to have Cochran's labratory attacked by the Borg, and have him pretty much wounded and out of the pciture, with Picard forced to step in and unite the small town Cochran called home and complete the work on the warp ship.  There was no queen, and no sub-plot with Data.  It was old school, pre-Best of Both Worlds Borg.

Paramount is responsible for the Borg Queen.  They said the Borg were zombies, and they didn't want to have a Star Trek zombie movie.  They wanted a more engaged big bad in charge of the Borg, citing the success of Best of Both Worlds and even suggesting that Picard once again become Locutus. Wishing to avoid that, an old holdover from the original first season insect Borg was dusted off -- a queen.

Alice Krige was Frakes' (directing) first choice, and both he and Moore have talked at length about how she was "uncomfortably sexy."  You see lots of Cylon Number Six in Krige, really.  Perhaps Moore kept that slinky, robotic sexiness in mind.

Though this movie does feature some of Moore's best writing.  Data and the queen are just magnificent, and Picard's freakout monologue is one of the best scenes in Star Trek history.  We get a massive space battle that's just beautifully put together.  James Cromwell and Alfre Woodward bring an unusual gravitas to the franchise, and this is easily the best Trek film after Star Trek II.  And did 30 million better than Generations in the box office.

This is TNG's last hurrah.  Insurrection and Nemesis fell flat, the beginning of the end for the entire franchise and a shameful exit for TNG.

 
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 20, 2009, 05:16:39 PM
So, let's see, the best ship wankery in the films:

The Motion Picture:  Seeing Klingon ships for the first time with proper special effects.

Wrath of Khan: The old sea battle style as the Reliant and the Enterprise go at each other.

Search for Spock: The destruction of the Enterprise.

The Voyage Home: None.

The Final Frontier: None.

The Undiscovered Country: None.

Generations: The spectacular controlled crash of the Enterprise's saucer section.

First Contact: The freakout battle with the Borg in Earth orbit.

Insurrection: None.

Nemesis: None.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: Cassander on January 20, 2009, 09:20:25 PM
can we put up that gif of picard going crazy with the tommy gun on the borg?
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 20, 2009, 11:41:08 PM
I love that this is the only version I can find:

(http://www.greatsociety.org/uploads/userfiles/3/IndestructableChunk.gif)
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 25, 2009, 11:34:14 PM
(http://www.greatsociety.org/uploads/userfiles/3/lostpicard.gif)
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: Nubbins on January 27, 2009, 05:10:16 PM
hahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: Matt on January 28, 2009, 04:06:00 PM
fyad had some awesome TNG gifs
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on February 06, 2009, 07:30:12 AM
Special for Sirharles!


Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: Sirharles on February 06, 2009, 09:48:01 AM
That's Awesome!
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: Matt on February 06, 2009, 01:06:41 PM
I'm gonna repost this here from the Youtube thread since these are (IMO) much better done than that:


Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on February 06, 2009, 01:13:23 PM
That first one is like 80% of the episodes.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on April 13, 2009, 11:06:31 AM
Wait a minute... Did I really marathon this show or was that a bad dream?

http://www.toplessrobot.com/2009/04/the_8_most_shamefully_stupid_star_trek_the_next_ge.php#more
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: Nubbins on April 13, 2009, 02:46:02 PM
hahahaha paging monkey
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on October 28, 2009, 10:26:22 PM
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: Nubbins on December 01, 2009, 02:02:17 AM
(http://i50.tinypic.com/246w4k5.jpg)
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: RottingCorpse on December 01, 2009, 09:04:55 AM
I'm going to be singing that Jean-Luc Picard song all day now.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: Nubbins on December 02, 2009, 03:32:23 PM
(http://i46.tinypic.com/fp1s3b.jpg)

Quote from: Wil Wheaton
When I was a teenager, I got tired of sitting in this chair really fast. As an adult, though, it brings back only fond memories. Seconds before this photo was taken, I typed my fingers across the Okudagram, using the same series of commands that I made up to send the ship to warp speed.

Yes, I was such a geek, I invented my own fake logic for driving the spaceship. When you're sitting there saying "Aye, Sir," for hours at a time, you've got to do something to keep yourself entertained, right?
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 08, 2010, 09:34:11 PM
(http://www.greatsociety.org/uploads/userfiles/8/riker_soul.jpg)

Jesus.  Did I really do this?
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: RottingCorpse on August 26, 2010, 08:48:59 AM
Supposed casting memo from 1987. Whoa.

http://thedailywh.at/post/1009213031/letter-of-note-of-the-day-an-internal-memo-from
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on August 26, 2010, 10:51:06 AM
Blocked at work.

But it's the Wesley Snipes thing, right? Hilarious.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: RottingCorpse on August 26, 2010, 04:24:25 PM
No. It's like Yaphet Kotto as Picard and Jenny Agutter as Troy. Crazy shit.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on August 26, 2010, 05:23:16 PM
Oh!  That's even crazier.

Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on August 27, 2010, 06:05:19 PM
Here's a link not blocked at work!

http://www.lettersofnote.com/2010/08/star-trekcasting.html

I like that Chao got a second life as the chief's wife. 

And an early indicator of Gates (Cheryl) McFadden being a bitch. Even before she was cast there are unspoken reservations about her.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on September 11, 2010, 01:30:57 PM
The two year anniversary of this marathon is in November.

I should go through Voyager, shouldn't I? And provide the same episode-by-episode critical analysis.

Though I might have to wait for when I start brewing beer because each block of Voyager episodes will require an Old West-style XXX jug of monk beer.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on November 20, 2010, 06:29:25 AM
I just had this awesome dream where we got a TNG movie, except it was updated to the more modern gritty sci-fi style.  Picard was called out of retirement to settle a little war between two planets, things got wonky, but he had the foresight to bring along Worf and Crusher in various supporting roles.  And, of course, Riker shows up as captain of a ship just in the nick of time.  But, mostly, it was just Picard and a diplomatic drama intermixed with the aliens battling each other.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on June 17, 2011, 01:34:14 PM
So, Voyager, Deep Space Nine, and Enterprise are watch instantly on July 1st!

I'm going to do some more suffering through, I think. I've only ever seen the first season of Enterprise!

Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on July 01, 2011, 08:37:37 PM
And...they're live.

Get ready for Suffering Through Voyager!

But not yet. I'm going to lie in bed at 7:30pm in Parkersburg, WVA and shiver and silently mouth every line of Patton as I watch it on my laptop.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: RottingCorpse on September 10, 2011, 11:58:28 AM
Quote
In other news, we've gotten a bit of clarification from our sources on CBS's in-progress Star Trek: The Next Generation - Remastered Blu-ray sampler disc. The disc will include FOUR episodes, two of which will include Encounter at Farpoint, Parts 1 and 2. We're told that the other two should be The Inner Light and Sins of the Father.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on September 10, 2011, 02:17:33 PM
Reason #1,976 why I do not own, nor ever will, a blu-ray player.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on October 27, 2011, 10:39:57 PM
So Deep Space Nine came onto Watch Instant on the 1st and, since then, I've been secretly marathoning the series. I'm skipping the bottle episodes, and the dumb shit, and sort of doing the Dominion War Special Marathon, which means that I've watched an average of 14 episodes per 26 episode season.

In the 90's, I stopped watching DS9 sometime during the fifth season. I'm currently halfway through the seventh... And, I have to say, when the Dominion War heats up, it's some awesome sci-fi. Of course, they only devote about 10 episodes a season to it, and then they do 14 bottle episodes...but...

I just now noticed that the finale for the series is...a ten hour episode. The last 10 episodes of season seven is one episode in ten parts, and strangely squished together on Netflix. As I slowly work my ways through the buildup, it's dark, tense, troubling, and bizarre... Gritty sci-fi before gritty sci-fi was popular. And talk about ambitious. Or, perhaps, the better word in this case would be over-reaching.

Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: RottingCorpse on March 28, 2012, 03:02:15 PM
Brent Spiner is to TNG what Shatner was to TOS what Englund was to NOES?

Quote
Brent Spiner: You'll likely see a rebooted Star Trek: TNG someday

http://blastr.com/2012/03/brent-spiner-youll-likely.php (http://blastr.com/2012/03/brent-spiner-youll-likely.php)
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on March 28, 2012, 04:00:48 PM
grrr
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on July 25, 2012, 12:46:40 PM
(http://www.greatsociety.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/startrekdawg.gif)
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on July 25, 2012, 04:09:36 PM
Nice...


http://www.stardestroyer.net/Nemesis/Pictorial-1.html

A "pictorial plot synopsis" of Star Trek Nemesis.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on August 15, 2012, 12:44:30 PM
Trekkie takes Paramount's trash and starts to restore it... In this case, the entire fucking Enterprise-D bridge.

http://blastr.com/2012/08/a-trekkie-is-trying-rebui.php
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: RottingCorpse on August 17, 2012, 12:27:50 PM
Now *that* is a Kickstarter worth getting behind.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on March 22, 2013, 08:12:11 AM
Not a valid youtube URL
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: RottingCorpse on May 08, 2013, 05:32:13 PM
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on May 08, 2013, 06:39:18 PM
I can't believe I never noticed that before. That's hilarious.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: RottingCorpse on May 14, 2013, 12:47:57 PM
Not a valid youtube URL
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: RottingCorpse on August 03, 2013, 05:23:57 PM
(http://24.media.tumblr.com/8d85f894914d8d4ce7ec1fefb9d943cf/tumblr_mqvsozNJEs1qdm5ngo1_250.gif)
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on August 04, 2013, 11:49:24 PM
Yikes...
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on December 06, 2013, 03:56:01 PM
This made me finally, officially lose my mind:

Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 10, 2014, 10:34:10 AM
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: RottingCorpse on January 11, 2014, 02:46:31 PM
http://www.buzzfeed.com/kevintang/the-most-depressing-job-on-the-starship-enterprise (http://www.buzzfeed.com/kevintang/the-most-depressing-job-on-the-starship-enterprise)
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 11, 2014, 02:51:12 PM
Love it!
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 23, 2014, 05:42:16 PM
Woah...



http://io9.com/the-most-impressive-costumes-from-star-trek-tngs-firs-1507531721
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: RottingCorpse on March 03, 2014, 01:55:57 PM
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on November 19, 2014, 03:18:16 PM
NO! Do not start marathoning DS9! NO!

Episode one:

The pilot actually holds up all these years later. Lots of promise here... We get to see the epic battle of Wolf 359 from another angle (that is, we actually see the epic battle of Wolf 359, period), and the use of Picard throughout -- as a sort of bookend for Sisko's emotional journey, and as the Wormhole Creature figment advocating Sisko's death -- is well done and quite fun.

Nana Visitor is still totally hot.

It's fascinating to see the birth of a series-wide story-arc here. It's not really there in the pilot, but they are more clearly setting up the pieces to launch into a big, huge arc. They don't have the balls that Babylon 5 had, but they are clearly prepping for a middle ground between B5's deeply-entrenched series-arc and not having an arc at all (or, as with Voyager, an arc that's no more complicated than "get home").

Episode two: Past-Prologue

Nana Visitor is still totally hot.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on November 20, 2014, 12:56:45 PM
Episode 4 (re-ordering the numbering -- the pilot is actually episodes one and two): We immedietely go into bottle episodes. In this one, we're reminded that Dax still exists and still can't act. But this is Odo's episode where we get to know Odo and Odo does Odo stuff.

Episode five: There's a virus on the station that makes people talk nonsense! This is a get to know the ensemble episode.

Episode six: A get to know O'Brien episode as he befriends an alien that's being hunted. 

Episode seven: The show is so far off the rails so early. We've just had a bunch of weird bottle episodes, and now we get yet another "crossover" with TNG -- Q and Vash arrive on the station. This was the only time Q visited DS9 because Sisko simply wasn't the right character to pit against him. The whole episode is terribly written, and shamefully realized. It even makes Q's completely out of character romantic obsession with Janeway in Voyager look reasonable and well executed.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on November 20, 2014, 06:54:25 PM
Episode 8: The establishing bottle episode for the worm in Dax's belly. Because that's what we really want and need from our weekly high-profile big franchise sci-fi.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on November 20, 2014, 07:45:30 PM
Episode nine: Alien consciousness takes over the mind of a main character. Recycled Star Trek script #45871.

Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on November 20, 2014, 08:35:16 PM
Episode ten: Quark fucks shit up in an amusing way, episode #1 (of 5000).
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: Reginald McGraw on November 20, 2014, 09:45:46 PM
What have you done!?!?
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on November 20, 2014, 10:08:41 PM
What have you done!?!?

It's this or drink Drano. My only choices, apparently.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on November 21, 2014, 01:14:48 PM
Episode eleven: Quark fucks shit up in an amusing way, episode #2 (of 5000).
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: RottingCorpse on November 21, 2014, 01:32:11 PM
Your "stick-to-it" nature with these marathons amazes me.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on November 21, 2014, 01:36:33 PM
Your "stick-to-it" nature with these marathons amazes me.

Half my brain is reading academic psychological literature and making sure Dr. Flipflop doesn't say, in chapter 32, that "blacks have smaller brains." A constant stream of escapist sci-fi is the only thing keeping me away from the gun store.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on November 21, 2014, 02:51:14 PM
Episode 12: The first hint that Odo is More Than He Seems.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on November 21, 2014, 06:18:02 PM
Episode 13: Emissary stuff. Snorebot.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on November 22, 2014, 05:44:45 PM
Episode 14: Totally unfazed by what is effectively the horrible death, resurrection, then voluntary exile of the Bajoran pope, Bajor calmly asks Sisko to mediate between two inconsequential villages. If their dispute can't be resolved, Bajor will collapse into civil war...which seems weird. So weird that Sisko sends O'Brien and Doctor Bashir and then vanishes for most of the episode. Meanwhile, Jake and Nog get into trouble.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on November 24, 2014, 06:35:44 PM
Episode 15: Kira has to save a fucking farm. There is still no comment or fallout over the fact that Sisko got Bajor's pope killed and then abandoned her on a penal colony a trillion light years away.

Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on November 24, 2014, 07:54:24 PM
Episode 16: Everyone's dreams come true. General comedy ensues.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on November 25, 2014, 09:09:10 AM
Episode 17: An alien takes over the station computer. Everyone is doomed. Meanwhile, Lwaxana Troi does a crossover from TNG and, despite years of developing her character and love for Picard on TNG, now gets rebooted and falls in love with...Odo. Which doesn't even seem to make sense to the writers. But...they wrote it anyway. The departmentalization of the ensemble makes this show so tiresome. Instead of the ensemble working together, we get two completely unrelated storylines and primary characters divided between them. Sad waste of just about everything.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on November 25, 2014, 11:09:27 AM
Riker!

Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on November 25, 2014, 01:05:54 PM
Episode 18: Um...telepathic aliens take over the crew and zzzzzzzzzzzzz............
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on November 25, 2014, 01:51:37 PM
Episode 19: Kira gets g angbanged by every Federation officer and gargles their cum in widescreen HD.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: RottingCorpse on November 25, 2014, 03:11:26 PM
Wait, what? Are you just trying to see if we're paying attention?
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on November 25, 2014, 03:55:56 PM
Episode 20: Season one finale! The episode is devoted to a ripped-from-the-headlines creation vs. evolution in our schools metaphor.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: Reginald McGraw on November 25, 2014, 03:56:46 PM
Episode 19: Kira gets g angbanged by every Federation officer and gargles their cum in widescreen HD.

!!!!!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on November 25, 2014, 04:00:43 PM
PS, re episode 20, I love that the only real creationist argument is: "Are the entities in the wormhole the Prophets and is the Celestial Temple in the wormhole?"

The answer on both counts is not only a resounding "yes," but Sisko has been to the temple, talked to the Prophets, and is nominally in their service. But the schoolteacher says no on all counts. She only teaches "the truth."

So... No one believes Sisko? Of course, we haven't really addressed any of that anyway.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on November 25, 2014, 04:56:02 PM
Season two, episode one: Kira frees a terrorist who spends the next three episodes taking over DS9.

This season is all about building up increased hostile relations between Cardassia and the Federation. It's the season that gives us the Maquis, and we finally get introduced to the Dominion in the finale.

The start of a series-arc is handled, at this primitive stage, by having a bunch of multi-part episodes.

Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on December 06, 2014, 08:17:13 AM
Season two, episode two, part two of Kiri's struggle with being Kiri.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on December 06, 2014, 11:24:01 AM
Season two, episode three, part three of
Season two, episode two, part two of Kiri's struggle with being Kiri.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on December 06, 2014, 04:54:32 PM
Season two, episode four. This is a Dax episode. We haven't seen much of her yet because Terry Farrell is a horrible actress. In this episode, she basically gets to sleep and mope around because some anorak of a Trill steals her symbiont.   

The episode is, sadly, a terribly wasted opportunity. It's set during a plasma storm and the station only has a skeleton crew (i.e., the title cast members). So you get that claustrophobic disaster feeling. Awesome! Except...it's a Dax episode. Snorebot.

Reggie, could you draw us a Snorebot icon? 
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: Reginald McGraw on December 07, 2014, 03:02:55 AM
I think so.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: Reginald McGraw on December 07, 2014, 03:04:00 AM
.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on December 07, 2014, 09:28:42 AM
 Added!


snorebot!
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on December 07, 2014, 09:02:24 PM
Season two, episode five. Oh, they are so impressed with the social aspect of the Cardassian Occupation and what it did to Bajor. This whole episode is about the half-breed "dust children" (as the Vietnamese call the same sub-class) and how Bajor is coping (or not) with them.

Season two, episode six. Dr. Bashir falls in love with a crippled alien. He falls in love with her because he falls instantly in love with every female ever of any species and in any timeline or universe. Except Kira, strangely. 
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on December 07, 2014, 10:57:20 PM
Season two, episode seven. The Dominion gets name-checked for the first time. Basically, the Ferengi are responsible for the worst threat the Federation has faced since the Borg, but nobody ever mentions that as our saga progresses.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on December 08, 2014, 09:57:30 AM
So I went and read about how much of the series ark masterplan they had in mind and the answer is...none! Though the Dominion starts to get mentioned in the second season, and we even get a cliffhanger where the DS9 crew "meets" the Dominion, the writers and showrunner had no clear picture of who the Dominion were, what their motivations were, and what encountering them would actually mean.

In between seasons 2 and 3 they got most of the plan down on paper though.

This was the problem with Lost, of course, but you don't notice it as much because DS9 doesn't bother with mystery, intrigue, or, you know, good writing. Even once the series masterplan is down, it's basically just: "Dominion some bad guys and Odo is one of them. FIGHT! FINISH HIM! Replay? Insert 50 cents."
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: RottingCorpse on December 08, 2014, 01:29:29 PM

Reggie, could you draw us a Snorebot icon? 


snorebot!

I spent far too much time making a snorebot gif this AM. Reggie's may be better.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on December 08, 2014, 01:36:51 PM
I added it! I can't say no to a live action snorebot!

 livesnorebot
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: RottingCorpse on December 08, 2014, 01:40:14 PM
Choices!
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on December 08, 2014, 02:34:38 PM
Season two, episode eight: Quark episode in which he gets.....d.;sdsd'
; snorebot!
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on December 08, 2014, 04:39:28 PM
Season two, episode nine. A mad scientist is trying to re-ignite a star, as you do, and his alien wife hates him but her species mates for life so she creates some sort of poltergeist shit that Sisko falls in love with. As you do.

This was supposed to be another "Bashir falls for every girl, even if she's a ghost/dead/an alien/not a girl" story, but they just did that so Sisko gets a turn, which means the motivations don't make any sense and Sisko's backstory is tarnished a bit.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on December 08, 2014, 04:48:29 PM
Season two, episode 10. The Dominion get name-checked again. Ooh, we're supposed to think. The plot thickens.

A group of refugees from the Gamma Quadrant are rescued by DS9 and decide that Bajor is their promised land. Bajor rejects their proposal to immigrate and actually kills one of the alien zealots because every government on Bajor is more evil than the Cardassians ever were. The aliens reluctantly shuffle away to one of the countless and always conveniently unpopulated garden planets that the Federation has lying around.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on December 08, 2014, 04:53:01 PM
By the way...it's taken me 21 years and countless viewings to realize that the ONLY transporter room on DS9 is literally right in the middle of CIC. They might as well just surrender every single time they use it. 
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on December 08, 2014, 06:35:38 PM
Season two, episode 11 -- Another Quark episode! My god, stop with the episodes featuring a secondary character who only ever has one motivation and one possible storyline.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on December 09, 2014, 11:03:23 AM
Season 2, episode 12: Odo reconciles with the paternalist scientist who discovered him and treats him like shit. Also, they find clues about the changeling race but O'Brien kind of kills everything or something.

They walk a thin line between having O'Brien be a stereotypical lovable Irishman and a stereotypical violent and poorly educated Irishman.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on December 10, 2014, 04:10:46 PM
Season 2, episode 13: Bashir and O'Brien help aliens get rid of their biological weapons. They do this, and then the aliens decide to murder them to "erase all knowledge of the weapons" because...huh?

Anyway, with O'Brien poisoned, the two flee to a planet devastated by the bio-weapons and a buddy adventure ensues, with occasional glimpses at how everyone on DS9 is coping with the alleged death of their two beloved friends. Sweet! Touching! Even Quark is sad!

All fine in the end. Blah blah blah.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on December 11, 2014, 02:16:23 PM
Season 2, episode 14: O'Brien attempts to get to the bottom of a strange plot after everyone on the station starts acting weird.

Turns out he's a perfect clone created by aliens to assassinate kd,,sss  snorebot!
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on December 11, 2014, 03:02:03 PM
Season 2, episode 15: Sisko and O'Brien are trapped on a planet that doesn't believe in technology. They have to destroy a device that's creating a dampening field. Every sci-fi show has done this plot since 1965, but at least it's Sisko and O'Brien so it's manly. Bashir would spend the whole time hitting on female trees.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on December 22, 2014, 12:10:10 PM
Season 2, episode 16: Man, talk about tropes. This is the episode where the entire village is a hologram and they don't know it, and the ancient hologram machine is flaking out so people vanish and nobody remembers them. Literally every sci-fi TV show that has lasted more than one season has done this story almost shut-by-shot. Highlights: The Dominion get namechecked.

Season 2, episode 17: A proto-universe that harbors life (though, confusingly, it is "life like nothing we've ever seen," which then begs the question how do we know it's life?) is growing exponentially in the science lab and the crew must figure out WTF. Meanwhile, Dax is training a new Trill. So despite apocalyptic doom all around, this is a vaguely comic Dax episode. Thanks, writers.

Season 2, episode 18: A Quark episode where they desperately try to flesh out his character by bringing in a past love. The trouble, as always, is that Quark has only one motivation and it's largely impossible to write that out as it fucks with the overall canon. So even though we get some interesting storytelling here, it always has to break down to an obsessive money grab on the part of Quark.

Season 2, episode 19: Another Dax episode. This time she has to honor her past host's blood oath with a trio of decrepit Klingons. She takes an unannounced leave of absence and murders about three dozen civilians and Sisko's reaction is of benevolent disapproval. Strange. The episode is elevated, somewhat, by the trio of Klingons, but Dax is ridiculous as always.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on December 23, 2014, 01:24:50 PM
Season 2, episode 20 and 21 introduces the Maquis. This vigilante organization on the Cardassian border is a subplot for all three new Trek series. TNG has multiple episodes dedicated to the Maquis, they're born here in DS9 and play a role throughout the Dominion War, and, of course, they're the reason Voyager gets lost (and also compose a contingent of her crew, including two title characters).

And, yet, the Maquis are never really fleshed out. It's almost like they're a failed spin-off series idea that then gets so wildly incorporated into the entire franchise that there's then no way out for the writers. An attempt to "resolve" the Maquis storyline does come up in Voyager when the ship gets a letter that casually says all the Maquis are dead (an incident played out in DS9), and then we just sort of drop it after that and tra-la-la. Kind of short-shrift for a very prominent part of the franchise. But, then, Voyager essentially does the same for the Borg and Q, so I don't know...

Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on December 31, 2014, 04:08:49 PM
Season 2, episode 22: Garak has a breakdown.  snorebot!


Season 2, episode 23: The mirror universe episode! Actually just realizing that this is the first visit to the mirror universe since the TOS episode, and they totally fucked this up in the multiple mirror universe episodes in Enterprise. Here they state that the events in the TOS episode led Spock to destroy the Terran Empire nearly 100 years ago when Kirk visited. Yet the ship Kirk was trying to rescue in that episode shows up (100 years before the TOS episode) in the Enterprise Mirror episodes, which implies that the TOS episode went back in time...which...oh, fuck it.  this movie needs sam neill
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 02, 2015, 08:49:51 AM
Season 2, episode 24: Bajoran religious stuff. Nana Visitor lounges around in skimpy nightgowns. A++.

Season 2, episode 25: O'Brien adventure episode! He's betrayed by one of his oldest friends and framed for treason. Because that guy just can't catch a break.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 14, 2015, 03:00:16 PM
Season 2, episode 26: We dig into the Dominion! A great episode, and amusing because, at this point, the writers had no clue who or what the Dominion was. All that would be decided hastily over the summer.

Season 3, episodes 1-2: The Dominion are Odo's people! This is handled terribly.

Season 3, episode 3: The slow-down episode we didn't need. Quark Comedy protocol Enabled! Begin mindless horror.

Season 3, episode 4: A Dax episode. We're reminded for 45 straight minutes that Dax cannot fucking act and isn't even that hot if you stare at her straight on.

Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 14, 2015, 03:29:58 PM
Season 3, episode 5: Hot Nana Visitor episode.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 15, 2015, 10:25:14 AM
Season 3, episode 6: Uh... I don't remember! The baby Jem'Hadar, I think. And Odo has to raise him and... I watched it and can't recall a thing except OdoOdoOdoOdo... They whet our appetite with a Big Bad, and then they dick around with idiot bottle episodes while CONSTANTLY saying how bad the Big Bad is.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 19, 2015, 08:38:46 PM
Season 3, episode 7: Jake and Cisco set off a booby-trap, get stuck in a remote part of the station, and bond. Blah.

Season 3, episode 8: Fucking Dax in love with aliens episode...

Season 3, episode 9: Doppleganger Riker! Which was a pointless storyline years before in TNG and is never revisted again because they knew how awful it was as they filmed it.

Season 3, episode 10: Now... This is the episode where Lwaxana Troi goes through Betazoid menopause and destroys everyone's day. This is a de facto "Naked Now" remake, which every Star Trek series does eventually.  I just like the idea that Betazoid menopause can make a thousand people violently drunk.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 24, 2015, 10:40:53 AM
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: Sirharles on April 23, 2015, 04:38:24 PM
I didn't know where else to put this but....WTF?

Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on April 23, 2015, 06:14:00 PM
Yeah, Tuvok Kickstarted this in 2013. It's actually acting (along with a previous Tim Russ Star Trek movie) as a backdoor pilot for CBS. More or less proof of concept.

It's set post-Voyager, and there are weird rights rules with Star Trek movies vs.  Star Trek TV (which is why a TV show from the Abramsverse is not likely).
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on May 27, 2015, 11:00:41 AM
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on June 22, 2015, 10:58:52 AM
io9 has highlights from a fascinating Oral History of Best of Both Worlds (which really does hold up). The full history is here:

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/heat-vision/star-trek-story-daring-cliffhanger-803642

Quote

The Hollywood Reporter has a great oral history post from the writers and actors behind the Star Trek: Next Generation’s epic cliffhanger episode ‘Best of Both Worlds’. Here’s a couple of things we learned about the episode, and how it changed Star Trek forever:

It was the first time that a cliffhanger had been done in Star Trek.

Piller said as the season went on that he thought there should be a cliffhanger, which Star Trek had never done.
For me, my show growing up was Stargate SG-1, which frequently ended on a cliffhanger between seasons, and even earlier shows, such as Babylon 5, used that trick between seasons, which kept everyone on edge until the show returned. This was a shock to audiences, who had been accustomed to having everything safely wrapped up beforehand.

The cliffhanger made everyone realize that The Next Generation was a serious show.

Moore: What people forget now is in the first couple of seasons of Next Generation, we were sort of not taken seriously as Star Trek. The fans were split on the acceptance of the show.
The show is a powerhouse now, but early on, it had a harder time taking off, and an even harder time winning over fans. This cliffhanger helped to demonstrate that the writers were willing to do some risky things with its characters.

The episode had a huge impact on Jonathan Frakes when he directed his own Star Trek movie, First Contact.

Frakes: The cool thing about the story was that he was forever haunted by Locutus being in his DNA. That informed the first movie that I directed, First Contact.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on July 02, 2015, 12:40:21 PM
Shatner is releasing his controversial documentary on the rise of TNG online for a pretty penny ($13 to download, $8 to watch). But, of course, putting it on Vimeo means he just gave it to the entire world for free...

http://trekmovie.com/2015/07/01/tng-documentary-chaos-on-the-bridge-debuts-online/

He's been getting alot of flak for this, mainly because he's cast Roddenberry in a bad light. But, then... Roddenberry was pretty bonkers at this point in his career, and the madness of the first three seasons of TNG -- plagued by not-at-all-secret infighting between Roddenberry and the studio and a writers strike -- has been pretty well documented. But here Shatner gets everyone to open up a bit more.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on November 30, 2015, 09:11:04 AM
Final Mission.

Yay!  It's Wesley's last episode!  And it's a good episode.  Wesley, Picard, and some dork are trapped on a desert planet after their shuttle crashes.  I've always enjoyed this episode, and it still holds up.  Having Wesley leave the cast is just icing.

Weird that the most hated character leaves on a high note.  (He does come back for some guest spots in later seasons, all terrible episodes.) 

Rewatched this episode over the weekend... I don't think it holds up now. Still a good episode, but they march through the desert without blemish or seemingly desperate need for water for a day. I also noticed, on this 100th viewing, that they head away from the direction Picard's SOS arrow is pointing.

And how's the mining captain dork have NO water? How are these ships getting water? I would presume the only way is to recycle it, in which case there should be water they can drain from the system. Even if they have to boil it or whatever.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on December 04, 2015, 05:03:26 PM
This is somewhere already posted deep in this thread...but, for some reason, this video has been on my mind all damn day!


Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 21, 2016, 01:45:36 PM
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: RottingCorpse on October 20, 2016, 12:20:13 PM
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on October 20, 2016, 05:33:36 PM
Oh my god.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on January 25, 2017, 12:55:33 PM
As Discovery flounders, I thought this was a nice article -- revisiting Nemesis 15 years later and discussing how it's really killed (and continues to do so) the entire franchise.

http://io9.gizmodo.com/a-look-back-at-star-trek-nemesis-the-film-that-killed-1791577962
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on February 27, 2017, 02:19:24 PM
I went on this crazy Voyager binge while I was sick and now can't get off it. Mainly because Jeri Ryan looks really good in HD.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on September 13, 2017, 08:41:25 AM
http://io9.gizmodo.com/this-list-of-the-most-re-watched-star-trek-episodes-is-1803780922

So...this isn't baffling. It's Borg-centric and Jeri Ryan obsessed.

Io9 even mentions the Borg effect in the article. Meanwhile, Jeri Ryan's impact on Voyager as Seven of Nine has been well documented and discussed since she was introduced on the show. Her whole point was to save the show and get people watching (and re-watching) and, now, 761 years later, it's still true!

Some of these (Q Who? and Best of Both Worlds) are bog standard gateway episodes for TNG.

Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: Sirharles on September 20, 2017, 01:57:14 PM
I just watched the Discovery trailer again...and I still don't know what this is about?  When is this supposed to take place?  WHAT'S GOING ON??
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on September 20, 2017, 06:46:45 PM
I just watched the Discovery trailer again...and I still don't know what this is about?  When is this supposed to take place?  WHAT'S GOING ON??

Yeah, it's a mess. It's not even on my radar.

They've said it's 2255, which is exactly ten years before the first aired episode of TOS. (And, according to retconning in TOS and TAS, five years before The Cage).

In 2255, Kirk was an ensign on the Republic in the main timeline, and, in the Kelvin timeline, the bar fight in the 2009 movie took place.   
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on September 24, 2017, 11:07:28 PM
Okay. Watching Star Trek Discovery. I was thinking about liveblogging...but... When I think about this show, my reaction is:

(http://greatsociety.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/champagngal.gif)
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: RottingCorpse on September 25, 2017, 02:26:41 AM
The internet is raving over it...
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on September 25, 2017, 12:42:35 PM
The internet is raving over it...

So... It's difficult because I equally want to love it and forgive it for all its faults and hate it.

Sonequa Green holds the whole damn thing together. Without her, it would be dead. Everyone else is trying too hard. The writing is ponderous and eye-rolling. But it looks pretty, and it's clearly ready to launch in a different direction than anything else in the trek universe.

Though the problem is that I saw so many callbacks, it was almost distracting. We have the spiritual journey of the Klingons from DS9/VOY. We have Spock losing his mom from the 2009 reboot (lots of nu-Trek in it, really). And we even call back to Tom Paris in VOY a bit. In fact, the premise for the season is essentially looks to be a darker version of Paris' journey in VOY.

It's very hard to judge it, though. The pilot episode sets up a crew and a ship and then destroys them at the end and completely resets the stage. So there's no way to know what's going to happen now.

But...it's not worth paying for it. 
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: RottingCorpse on September 25, 2017, 12:55:38 PM
The "better than expected but not worth paying for" refrain is being repeated a lot on my FB feed today.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: RottingCorpse on September 27, 2017, 09:31:30 AM
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on September 27, 2017, 05:39:13 PM
I appreciate the Dr. Crusher love there.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: RottingCorpse on September 27, 2017, 08:54:15 PM
I'm dying to watch the ghost fucking episode.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on September 28, 2017, 10:04:41 AM
I'm dying to watch the ghost fucking episode.

Watch it now while it's streaming everywhere before CBS fucks us. Anything that puts Crusher in a nightgown for half an episode is aces in my book.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: RottingCorpse on October 02, 2017, 12:54:48 PM
Sarek is in Discovery? Are you still watching, Nacho?
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on October 02, 2017, 01:59:38 PM
Sarek is in Discovery? Are you still watching, Nacho?

Yes, James Frain plays Sarek this time. The main star is his "ward" and he makes random appearances because there's a part of him in her from a long-ago mind meld and...

 snorebot!

Oh! Sorry. So...episode three finally gets her to the Discovery. The Discovery is on a top secret mission (it's very obviously run by Section 31, though they aren't yet pointed out in this series). The mission is to create an improbability drive a'la Hitchhikers Guide, which goes wrong Interstellar/Event Horizon style in their sister ship and may well go wrong in their ship.

It's okay so far. They're rumored to be spending $8 million an episode which looks like it could be true. But the problem here is that it wants to be talky emotional exploration old-Trek but it's surrounded by whiz-bang, boom, shoot-em-up nu-Trek.

Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on October 02, 2017, 02:14:34 PM
io9, however, is very happy...and largely just for one reason:

Quote
During the journey, Stamets tells Burnham that he and his dead friend were happy in a lab, doing amazing research. Then the war started, their research was co-opted, they were separated so that they’d be “twice as fast” in their work, and Stamets had to work for the “warmonger” Lorca. And this? This is the idea I have been waiting for Star Trek to explore forever. Even Deep Space Nine, which also featured a war that tested the limits of Starfleet and the Federation, never delved that much into the fundamental tension of Starfleet’s stated mission of exploration and its military side.

I wanted Star Trek: Into Darkness to go into this. I wanted the Kelvin timeline to show how the Kelvin incident would give the hawks in Starfleet a chance to mold the institution into something less science-focused and more defense-focused. I wanted that conflict—and the hawks winning more than they did at the same time in the Prime timeline—to make having two timelines actually mean something more than “we don’t have to worry about continuity.” Obviously, that didn’t happen.

Discovery actually seems to be looking at this. Rapp plays Stamets as both in love with the science, and furious about how he’s being forced to research it. It’s a perfect Star Trek conflict, and I am here for it.

I kind of agree with this. DS9 didn't address the hawks at all. It was a war of survival. And, yes, nu-Trek is hopeless in the face of this. Discovery is positioning itself to question the fundamental aspects of exploration and science vs. war and Star Trek captain psychosis syndrome.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on October 10, 2017, 02:35:22 PM
So, yes. Back to Discovery. It's the prequel factor that bothers me the most. This could easily have been set post-Voyager. It would have also given them more freedom to explore what is, potentially, something interesting and engaging...

But I guess the studio always gets what it wants, right?
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: RottingCorpse on October 10, 2017, 03:18:47 PM
Yeah, a prequel seems misguided, though I suppose they like the structure of building towards known entities.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on October 10, 2017, 03:46:22 PM
Yeah, a prequel seems misguided, though I suppose they like the structure of building towards known entities.

Except that's not what they're doing. Their stated backstory in the buildup to the release is actually all wrong. Michael is not Number One from The Cage. The Klingon story is not at all canon and has no bearing on what's to come. It, in fact, completely retcons Enterprise and TOS. The technology is more advanced than the TNG-era.

So the only use of the prequel aspect is to make us think we're building to known entities -- and we get dumb teases here and there, like with Sarek. But it's all surface only. There's no point to having Michael be Spock's sister, and Sarek only exists (so far) to say "Hi, I'm Sarek from the original show!" every once in a while.

Also, poor Rekha Sharma. She's doomed to always be a strong, awesome person of color in modern sci-fi reboots only to die horribly, needlessly, and illogically in terms of scripting and characterization. Ah, well. At least they can't kill the black girl this time around. I'm sure they're trying to figure out a way around that, though.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on October 17, 2017, 01:27:17 PM
Discovery update:

With the Harry Mudd episode we slip up quite a bit.

First, Pike is among the "most decorated captains ever" list. This list includes Robert April (the first (current?) commander of the Enterprise), Archer (of course), the captain who died in the pilot of this show (whom we know nothing about, who was in charge of a minor vessel, and who LOST that vessel), Decker's dad, and then Pike.

So, if we're going with the increasingly tenuous "ten years before The Cage" idea, then Pike hasn't even begun his five year mission yet. He's a relatively new captain as of this show's timeline.

Fan service like this is just annoying at this point.

Rainn Wilson as Mudd is great, of course. But I continue to wonder -- did we really need Mudd? This is, again, part of the "why do a prequel?" question. It's totally unnecessary. Not only would you have the same viewership if this were post-Voyager, it would be a better show all around. Why are the studios so afraid of new ideas?

Mudd's anti-Starfleet rhetoric is also from a darker time in the future. It's exactly what you would hear in later seasons of TNG, DS9, and VOY. Again, perfectly fine if we weren't in the utopian world of pre-TOS. With the timeframe in mind, and knowing Mudd's future, it's odd to hear this on-point criticism of Starfleet. I feel like, if Kirk & Co. had heard this argument, they'd just be flummoxed and it would result in a Shatner monologue.

Use of the word "fucking." After 50 years of Star Trek, it was actually alarming for a character to casually say "This is fucking cool!"

Leaving Mudd behind: This was just stupid, since we know his character arc. It made it feel like Mudd, who was pretty much just a minor guest star, was one big fan service moment. That is, entirely pointless. More to the point of the utopian pre-TOS setting -- it's shocking that they leave Mudd behind. That's something no other captain on the show would have done, with the exception of Sisko, and Sisko would have struggled mightily and gotten an epilogue to emotionally address this decision. It's not even "dark sci-fi" to have this choice be an option. Lorca leaves Mudd behind happily and never thinks twice about it. This essentially moves Lorca into "villain" territory, which is something the show seems to kinda sorta want to do. But it's just so dumb and over the top.

Of course, Lorca also confesses to murdering the ENTIRE CREW Of his previous ship to "spare them" from dying at the hands of the Klingons. Um...well...

And, finally: Name-checking the Eugenics Wars. Yes, we get it, Star Trek II was a great movie. Thanks for the CONSTANT YEARLY REMINDER, FRANCHISE!

   



Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: RottingCorpse on October 18, 2017, 10:51:21 AM
Oof. You’re not selling it though Acebook at large is till hooked.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on October 24, 2017, 10:27:56 AM
Star Trek: Disaster has been renewed. Yay. More awkward prequel Event Horizon rip off shit staring largely unlikable people who constantly reference events from 10 years in their future.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on October 24, 2017, 01:43:46 PM
The most recent episode featured a holodeck!

So... "Why a prequel" conversation #478,072

I am about to give up on Discovery.

(Oh! And I love the idea of Vulcan nationalist fanatic terrorists who want to leave the federation.....NOT!)
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on October 27, 2017, 09:32:41 AM
So...The Orville.

I have to re-evaluate this show. It's grown on me. More importantly, it's the Star Trek show we all wanted and needed.

Even when they ruthlessly rip off Black Mirror episodes it's still endearing...because TNG ruthlessly ripped off everyone, including themselves. And The Orville is basically TNG 2017 with quirky writers.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on November 05, 2017, 04:30:19 PM
The Orville remains strong. The most recent episode saw our (so far underused) doctor and her two boys on a shuttle trip with the show's analogue of Data. The shuttle crashes, they're attached by primitives, they must survive, the Orville rescues them in the nick of time. Again -- a standard TNG episode. But throw in the comedy, the special effects, and what (surprisingly) is becoming a good ensemble mixed in with the pure nostalgic TNG fun and... It was great!

Meanwhile, I'm now watching the Groundhog Day episode of Discovery because I have a pact with Satan to watch the Groundhog Day episode of every sci-fi series.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on April 16, 2018, 10:51:56 AM
Ugh... Star Trek Discovery is now all about the Enterprise, Captain Pike, and young Spock. How can Star Trek fans seriously be excited about this show? It's high grade fan fiction.
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: RottingCorpse on April 16, 2018, 05:51:57 PM
Quinto is in it?
Title: Re: Suffering Through TNG: It's time for your oral exam, Wesley!
Post by: nacho on April 17, 2018, 09:43:54 AM
Quinto is in it?

Nope. All new cast. We're in the original timeline, too, so it'll be pre-Cage Pike and Spock. Or are we in the Mirror Universe-altered timeline now? Hard to say.