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Topic Summary

Posted by: RottingCorpse
« on: April 10, 2018, 08:40:02 PM »

Too bad you have to go back to work tomorrow. Oh wait...
Posted by: nacho
« on: April 10, 2018, 04:24:10 PM »

Hard Drive Clearances:

The Foreigner: Not enough jackie Chan is the primary problem in Jackie Chan's take on Taken. And...that's a significant problem. The ridiculous political backstory of a renewed IRA blowing people up is eye-rolling at best.

Nacho's Rating:  :fuckyou:

Hurricane Heist: This is so bad it's....really bad. Avoid at all costs.

Nacho's Rating:  :fuckoff:

Day of the Dead: Bloodline

This is like a fan film made by 8 year olds. Awful.

Nacho's Rating: Ugh. Fuck everything. I wasted my afternoon.
Posted by: RottingCorpse
« on: April 10, 2018, 11:10:38 AM »

Iím sure thatís how much going to the movies will cost come August. Hyperbole joke.
Posted by: nacho
« on: April 10, 2018, 11:03:58 AM »

Why $37?
Posted by: RottingCorpse
« on: April 10, 2018, 10:20:41 AM »

Will I pay $37 to see this garbage in the theater? You're god damned right I will.

Posted by: nacho
« on: April 06, 2018, 11:11:36 AM »

I still haven't seen the original Insidious. Should I? Is this the one Annabelle was spun off from? I CAN'T KEEP UP!!!

Not really. The Conjuring franchise (which includes the Annabelle franchise) pays lip service to the Insidious franchise, generally just confirming that the shit is happening in the same universe (and, incidentally, the same universe as the Saw franchise) but they're not intended to be too closely related.

The Conjuring follows Ed and Lorraine Warren (idealized and whitewashed versions of the infamous poltergeist scammer couple). Insidious follows Elise Rainier, a fictional medium.

Both franchises are worth getting into....if you break both your legs and get tired of spying on your neighbor.

Posted by: RottingCorpse
« on: April 05, 2018, 02:25:23 PM »

Terry Gilliam has been trying to make The Man Who Killed Don Quixote all his life. Looks like he finally did it.

https://news.avclub.com/holy-shit-its-a-trailer-for-terry-gilliams-the-man-who-1825010858

Posted by: RottingCorpse
« on: April 05, 2018, 01:56:06 PM »

I still haven't seen the original Insidious. Should I? Is this the one Annabelle was spun off from? I CAN'T KEEP UP!!!
Posted by: nacho
« on: April 04, 2018, 05:53:12 PM »

Hard Drive Clearances:

Insidious: The Last Key

So, at this point, this series isn't about what this series was about. It's about Elise (who, I think, dies in every movie?) and her comical Ghost Team, who are basically like The Lone Gunmen.

I had a hard time following this one because the series timeline makes the X-Men timeline look linear and uncluttered. But it has all the usual jump scares, and Elise is actually likable. She's who this series should have been about from the beginning (instead of having that dawn on them three movies later and forcing them to retcon the fuck out of the franchise).

Nacho's Rating:  :colbert:
Posted by: nacho
« on: April 04, 2018, 09:12:51 AM »

Hard Drive Clearances:

The Commuter: Liam Neeson has to save his family by beating the shit out of people...on a train! I can't help but feel like this is his Under Siege. Except he plays a washed up schlub (who...can fight really well) throughout, which is an interesting choice because he's a gigantic scary monster who doesn't play hat-in-hand accountant that well.

Anyway, it's still exactly what you expect and he kicks ass.
Nacho's rating:  :hist101:

Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle

I always felt like the first Jumanji movie was an overblown Robin Williams vehicle, and that cheapened the overall story. This rebooted version is excellent -- a great ensemble, and good, simple fun. Upgrading to modern video game rules is just fine, and Karen Gillian runs around in a Lara Croft outfit the whole time and it's hhhhhhhot! So this movie has something for everyone: Good for the kids, and good for the parents between Gillian and the Rock, and good for the fags with Jack Black's (hilarious) character.

Nacho's rating:  :happy1:
Posted by: nacho
« on: March 13, 2018, 03:29:12 PM »

Murder on the Orient Express is boring? That's disappointing.

Less boring than unnecessary, maybe. It's like a fan fiction version of an 80s TV movie.
Posted by: RottingCorpse
« on: March 13, 2018, 02:55:07 PM »

Murder on the Orient Express is boring? That's disappointing.
Posted by: nacho
« on: March 13, 2018, 02:44:10 PM »

Hard Drive Clearances:

Murder on the Orient Ex.... snorebot!


Skyline:

Bad PA alien invasion abduction paranoia sci-fi. It feels like a made for TV movie. It's a slow burn Battle:Los Angeles where characters don't ask questions or look out the window.
Rating:  :colbert:

Posted by: nacho
« on: March 13, 2018, 02:24:25 PM »

Hard Drive Clearances:

The Greatest Showman

This movie does an awesome job of humanizing a scoundrel who collected the physically disabled to be slaves in his human zoo.
Rating:  :mccainface:
Posted by: nacho
« on: March 13, 2018, 10:16:31 AM »

Hard Drive Clearances:

Better Watch Out: I was told this was a tables-turned Christmas-themed horror movie, so I've been sitting on it since December. Finally watching it and...blah. Dumb shit.
Rating: iceprawn!