Author Topic: Lost in Space  (Read 3158 times)

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Offline nacho

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Re: Lost in Space
« Reply #15 on: April 17, 2018, 11:01:25 AM »
Okay, 40 minute mark. I can put the whole series together now, no thanks to the useless flashbacks, or the central storyline which refuses to tell us anything. The Earth is in trouble and dying. The Robinsons have cheated their way onto the 25th colonist mission (this is only obvious thanks to their mission patches). On the way they hit an alien spaceship, blew the fuck out of both their ships, and are now trapped on an unknown planet.

If that stays true through the end of this season, I'll be pissed. Because, Jesus, such a dumb, simple storyline doesn't have to be hidden and made complicated. Just tell the story and give us some groovy adventures!

Anyway, the crashed alien ship is the intro for Robot. 

Offline nacho

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Re: Lost in Space
« Reply #16 on: April 17, 2018, 11:06:58 AM »
Dialogue examples:

"Where's Will,"

*muttered response*

"What happened?"

"We got separated! What do you think happened?!"

Jeez... The next line should have been, "Well how the fuck would I fucking know? What the fuck is the matter with you you ungrateful cunt?"

Offline nacho

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Re: Lost in Space
« Reply #17 on: April 17, 2018, 11:17:57 AM »
Will saves Robot from a forest fire that literally flares up within seconds -- so short a time Will can't even run away. So now Robot is their friend and comes to save Judy, whose been trapped in ice for what feels like four seasons even though it's only been 30 minutes.

Offline nacho

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Re: Lost in Space
« Reply #18 on: April 17, 2018, 11:20:13 AM »
Robot's first words are an entirely inappropriate and almost non sequitur "Danger, Will Robinson." Spoken when Will isn't in danger and everyone but Judy is okay. It's Robot's acknowledgement that Judy needs help. :roll:

Offline RottingCorpse

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Re: Lost in Space
« Reply #19 on: April 17, 2018, 11:20:58 AM »
Little in life makes me happier than Ncaho liveblogs.

Offline nacho

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Re: Lost in Space
« Reply #20 on: April 17, 2018, 11:24:12 AM »
Suddenly everyone's cold. Penny asks Robot to save them before they freeze. They've been running around with jackets open, barely acknowledging the wind and arctic setting, for days now. Like, totally oblivious. Will and John just trekked across a windswept arctic plateau with jackets open, no head covering, and no gloves.

Offline nacho

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Re: Lost in Space
« Reply #21 on: April 17, 2018, 11:29:49 AM »
Dr. Smith intro!

Dr. Smith is actually a cowardly standard Dr. Smith guy who gets shot while running from the same (?) Robot that Will just friended. Robot is attaching the Jupiter launch base, in an obvious homage to the movie.

Parker Posey steals Smith's credentials, leaving him for dead.

That completely undermines the gender switch! She's not a female Dr. Smith! Totally bogus. Netflix, you fucking cowards. Just do the straight up gender switch. Don't apologize for it.

And don't make Robot a bad guy/from the bad guy squad. What the fuck is that? Dr. Smith has always been an agent for communists/anarchists/unexplained bad people. Just stick with that. Keep it simple, stupid.

Offline nacho

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Re: Lost in Space
« Reply #22 on: April 17, 2018, 11:31:14 AM »
Ugh. West is the shifty, cheating, stowaway. With Parker Posey's help, he and a red shirt steal a Jupiter.

Offline nacho

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Re: Lost in Space
« Reply #23 on: April 17, 2018, 11:32:54 AM »
The entire launch base and all the Jupiters get sucked into a magic portal which then catches us up to the beginning of the episode.

Begin Episode Two!

Offline nacho

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Re: Lost in Space
« Reply #24 on: April 17, 2018, 11:33:55 AM »
Episode Two: The Saga of West, fake-Smith, and Red Shirt.

Offline nacho

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Re: Lost in Space
« Reply #25 on: April 17, 2018, 11:37:40 AM »
Red Shirt is pretty good at not dying. They're probably saving her for a Parker Posey murder scene.

Meanwhile, back at the Robinson camp, Maureen brilliantly observes that the Robot is synthetic. Thanks. We got that.

Offline nacho

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Re: Lost in Space
« Reply #26 on: April 17, 2018, 11:40:31 AM »
Oh, I got confused. Red Shirt died on impact. Parker Posey just looks exactly like Red Shirt and changed outfits to look even more like her in between episodes even though episode two picks up immediately where episode one left off.

Offline nacho

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Re: Lost in Space
« Reply #27 on: April 17, 2018, 11:41:42 AM »
Meanwhile, back with the Robinson's, We're going to study Judy's flashback PTSD about an event that happened 3 minutes ago.

Offline nacho

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Re: Lost in Space
« Reply #28 on: April 17, 2018, 11:43:02 AM »
Robot saves the Jupiter 2 and dries it out. It sunk in a lake and filled with water...but everything's fine! All the electricity works.

Offline nacho

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Re: Lost in Space
« Reply #29 on: April 17, 2018, 11:51:54 AM »
So has Penny Robinson just gotten hotter with each new revival, or am I creepy old man?

Angela Cartwright was wholesome and normal. A kid. No weird attraction there (we had bombshell Judy to stare at).

But then they cast Lacey Chabert for the movie, in all her vampy skintight catsuit glory.

And now we have Mina Sundwall. They've correctly stepped away from the awkwardly sexualized version of Penny and tried to get some wholesomeness back. but she's also a model-quality redhead.