Boble: Old Testicle Epilogues
Each edition of the Boble has had a different epilogue. So we’ll go in order…
Epilogue By Werdna
The Boble has been translated and edited for you. Even though we had to guess and make up most of it, it is the word of BOB. Hail BOB, and stay tuned for the New Testicle… And, uh, just don’t look at the eclipse. And surrender your tank. And where is the bathroom anyway?
The 1993 epilogue, featured only in the Second Edition (before the New Testicle):
In a Time magazine article, BOB’s impressions of the Old Testicle were summed up in one sentence: “You never really notice the passing; kind of like the peaceful death of a finch.”
The 1997 epilogue (from the Second Revised Edition and the Modern Era Comet Catastrophe Edition in 98):
(Interview with Werdna)
ANDERSON: Now I realize that you must have been getting rather upset with the Old Testicle, Werdna, but is that any reason to end it like that? I mean, take away everything from Palms to Billickme and I’d be happier.
WERDNA: I understand, Dean, I really do. But I felt trapped in the Old Testicle. I mean, hell… BOB was wearing thin. Look, the New Testicle is much better.
ANDERSON: Tell me about it, Werdna.
WERDNA: Well, Dean, I translated the Old Testicle in 1988; but I waited until 1993 before I put the New Testicle together…
ANDERSON: Why was that?
WERDNA: I…uh… I don’t know, Dean, I just did. Anyway, the New Testicle was written while I played a nearly-continuous loop of Jesus Christ Superstar; so I was having a real fun time. I mean, the whole thing was a departure of sorts… A parody of a parody. The New Testicle breaks away from the Old and that’s what made it entertaining. You can also see the time frame; how six years changed the translation style. Read on, Dean, I’ve always loved the New Testicle better than the original…
The 2000 epilogue, from the Y2K Edition:
Right, I just finished editing the OT and it’s still crap! Look, if any of you loyal Bobists out there happen to be professional editors, I’d like you to have a go at this. I’ll be damned if I pay you, but you should work out of the kindness of your heart anyway.
So the OT and the New Testicle have very dramatic shifts in focus. I intentionally left the New Testicle unfinished for years, hoping that various experiences would change my writing style. In many ways, it did. The NT also wrote itself in about two weeks during the winter storm of 1993. I was trapped in WVA, alone in my dorm room, furiously typing the NT and listening to Jesus Christ Superstar.
Since the NT appeared on the scene in 1993, there have been many changes. Much of the, admittedly, unreadable OT has been altered to allow a little more comfort. With massive changes in 1995, 1997 and, again, in 1999 the latter part of the OT began to adopt the NT writing style. So, well, maybe I lost focus of the whole project. Anyway, enjoy it ya bastards! It all goes great with Absinthe.
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The Boble is actually copyrighted. I paid money for that.
Published by Purple Publications (1988-2009)
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